The Thing About Love
by Mai Kurosaki
Summary: The thing about true love is that it conquers obliviousness, jealousy and stubbornness. Or at least this is what Byakuya and Ichigo are about to discover as they learn to live together without the excitement of the shinigami life.
1. Resolution

**Disclaimer:**_Bleach_ and its characters belong to Kubo Tite. I am just a small writer borrowing his characters for entertainment purposes.

_**1. Resolution**_

He does not know what woke him up, but he slowly opens his eyes. It is not like there is a bad feeling to it. It just feels different.

He sighs and turns on his back. His room is still the same, the shadows of the night playing through his scarce furniture. He had moved in a small apartment since he got in college and began to be a man of his own. Seriously, there is nothing wrong. He concentrates in case there was a hollow but those have left Karakura town a long time ago after Aizen's defeat.

Ichigo blinks. His sleep is slowly fading and that makes him angry. Damn it, he had been really tired at the end of the day after courses at the university, going to work and meeting with Chad for a session jam with his band. Sometimes Ichigo misses the adrenaline rush before going to hunt a hollow. He misses the prickling sensation of what was about to come. Shinji tells him that there is nothing wrong with peace or having a normal life and also tells him there is nothing wrong with letting the designated shinigami deal with the scarce hollows that sometimes penetrate the city, only to be killed. Yes, Ichigo knows that, thank you very much. For crying out loud, the man has given up so much blood for the town that he probably could have made a center donation all on his own.

He just misses his friends. Orihime is really busy with her studies in gastronomy and with her love affair with Uryuu, who shocked all of them by deciding that he wanted to study fashion after all. Chad takes classes of Spanish literature during day and jams with his band during night. Tatsuki works at a karate center and she studies sports medicine too. He is pretty busy himself: studying medicine, working at a bookshop and helping his dad in the clinic. He is so busy in fact that his scarce visits in Soul Society are looked upon as a fucking national celebration day, if he was to quote Ikkaku. Ichigo ignores perfectly the pang in his heart because the Soul Society equals someone else in his mind and he does not want that.

He groans in frustration. Goddamn it! He is supposed to have ridden of this impossible feeling, the feeling that has driven him away, that makes Renji scowl and curse every time he comes here, that makes Rukia watch him with a soulful look in her eyes. Yeah, but it is not his fault, is it? It is that stupid fucker's with his stupid grey eyes and his stupid scarf and his stupid silky hair and his stupid elegant hands. Ichigo puffs. Yeah, he hates the sixth division captain. Seriously he _does_. Really….

"Where the fuck are you going?" Kon yells as soon as Ichigo gets up from the bed and becomes a shinigami. So, yeah, blame Ichigo for being an insane person in the kind of _I__'m-a-boy-with-plush-toys_ who kept Kon with him.

"I have some business in Soul Society since I can't sleep anyways. I feel like checking up on Rukia while I'm there. Wanna come?"

"Nee-san!" Kon yells and he just jumps on the shinigami's shoulder and yeah, Ichigo takes that as a _yes_. By the strength of the grip, he thinks it might be a _hell yes_, but he does not care. He flash-steps to Urahara, who doesn't comment anything, smiles slyly and just lets them pass in the other world.

This passage never gets old. It always reminds him of the first time when he did this, when he was only thinking of saving Rukia, the one that gave him so much power to protect his family. He was only thinking of avenging her, rescuing her, and probably in the wide expanse of the events that would follow defeating her brother.

What is interesting enough is that lately the gate opens only on the training grounds of the sixth division. If he did not know better, Ichigo would say that Urahara knows something and likes to torment Ichigo in some of his impossible ways. But then again, even for Urahara, annoying the captain of the sixth division would be something amusing. And nobody annoys Kuchiki Byakuya better than him.

It takes Renji exactly ten point two seconds to appear next to Ichigo.

"You lazy fucker! Learn to fucking keep your reaitsu to yourself!" His best friend welcomes him, yelling in front of the new replacements for the sixth division. Ichigo scowls his famous Kurosaki scowl that makes all the people in Soul Society want to grab something and run. The replacements surely do look like it, except for Renji, who seems determined to yell even more at him. "And you have ruined my practice with the new recruits."

"Oh, fuck off, Renji! Haven't they already realized you're a useless bastard?"

"What did you just say to me?" Renji scowls deeper while the recruits feel fascinated by the whole show. They knew their lieutenant to be somewhat brash and generally impulsive, so unlike their captain, but still they kind of love Kurosaki for allowing this view of their flushed lieutenant. The plush toy sits on the orange kid's shoulder, gripping tight the hilt of his sword and just nodding approvingly every time Ichigo speaks.

"You heard me, ass!"

"Bite me!"

"In your fucking dreams!"

"I should have known that you are here, Kurosaki Ichigo." The steely voice makes them both flinch but for different reasons. While one thinks only of his feelings, the other thinks only of the punishments. "You're the only one who manages to make my lieutenant so noisy in the morning."

"Yo, Byakuya, long time no see." Ichigo scowls some more to Renji and then finally dares to look at Byakuya and fuck, yeah, the man is as sexy as ever. His uniform has not even one small proof of ever being worn by a human being. It is perfectly arranged on his body, as if the material hugs the owner in all the right places. The scarf is enwrapped around his long neck and the kenseikan is as always present in his long soft hair.

Ichigo swallows the lump stuck in his throat. For how long has he harbored this kind of feelings for Byakuya? For how long has he attempted at least to befriend the cold man? For a while, it all seemed possible. After he defeated Aizen, it looked like this was it, that he would finally conquer the hearts of all Soul Society. Yeah, right.

But never mind that. As usual, Byakuya is a damn monument of composure, propriety and of course the fucking proud owner of an ice cube instead of a heart. That is Ichigo's secret conviction anyways.

"I thought I taught you a long time ago what the proper manner to address me is, Kurosaki Ichigo."

"And you honestly thought that a serious discussion like that might have actually any effect on me."

"Why is it that you are here?" Of course, he had to ask this. Byakuya never sees that Ichigo comes for him. However, as if these hurtful words are not enough, he also adds. "As I remember, I have told you uncountable times that your place is not here."

Why Ichigo hurts at these words is still a mystery for the young man, even though he has heard them repeatedly. Nonetheless, they hurt so badly. He is almost masochistic in waiting for them, and the captain never disappoints. Byakuya always delivers them with sharp perfection. Suddenly Ichigo feels truly exhausted. Maybe he should have gone home and stayed there instead of being in front of this bastard who constantly reminds him that what he wants or _needs_ is impossible.

"I seriously don't know why you keep asking useless questions, Byakuya." And there's a tinge of tiredness and hurt in Ichigo's tone that both shinigamis look at him with different eyes. There is a sudden moment of silence between them and all the recruits around them keep their breaths to themselves. Ichigo feels tight and tensed. He has been trying so much. Even with Urahara's pranks, he has tried to be around Byakuya, to make the older man realize that maybe he could feel something for Ichigo. He would take anything, even just friendship.

The moment lengthens itself and Ichigo does not seem to realize that until Renji clears up his throat and says slowly, "The Women's Association." They both understand each other just from their looks. Ichigo smiles wearily at his friend, because Renji knows that what Ichigo needs is Rukia, as she is the only one that can make sense of the crap that goes through his head.

Before anything else happens, Ichigo flash-steps away from the bastard that has stolen his heart. Why the fuck does he even care anymore? He is an asshole. It has been two years since the Winter War has ended, and two years, one month and eleven days since Ichigo has realized that he would give up his life just to feel that man's lips once. Just fucking once, is that too much to ask?

But yeah, it is a totally impossible dream and what scares him the most is the fact that he is so damn used to it. He is used to be rejected by the people he loves, to lose them or to simply vanish from his life. Yeah, he is actually used to that. It comes as no shock to him and that hurts him the most. People tend not to need him after a while. Case in point: Rukia. She has grown so much, becoming the lieutenant of the 13th and helping her captain make the division what it used to be. Ikkaku and Yumichika still follow Zaraki in his wild escapades; Hisagi has become the captain of the ninth and he is more stressed than ever. They all move on, why the fuck can't he do the same?

He halts all of the sudden, making Kon screech in frustration, his tiny hands barely holding the hilt. Why is he here? Byakuya won't ever respond to his feelings. The Kuchiki pride wouldn't let him, even if he actually felt something for him, which of course he doesn't. Ichigo does not mind Kon's screams and he does not care about the fact that the stupid plushie yells at him. He just has to remember the cold stare, the harsh words, the impeccable way in which he is let down over and over again. Ichigo knows, he fucking _knows,_ that he will put all this behind him, even if it kills him.

He does not need Byakuya fucking Kuchiki, the insensitive captain, who does not care about anything. He will fucking move along. Yeah, that is it. If he has no place in Soul Society, which he saved, then so be it.

Kurosaki Ichigo with a scowl of gigantic proportions leaves back to Karakura town, not even sparing a glance back, ignoring the painful fact that he did not even see Rukia. '_Urahara and his stupid gate that opens up only in the sixth division's grounds_.' He will have his revenge on the shopkeeper soon.

For now, he is determined to forget some certain grey eyes.


	2. Confusion

**Disclaimer:**_Bleach_ and its characters belong to Kubo Tite. I am just a small writer borrowing his characters for entertainment purposes.

_**2. Confusion**_

The thing is…. there is something missing from his life. He does not know exactly what yet and he has been so prone in doing his duty that he did not mind the feeling at the beginning.

The thing is Kuchiki Byakuya has been so used to his routine that he has completely forgotten about his personal needs. The war with Aizen has somehow disrupted that routine, but Byakuya has been almost too keen to go back to it after the end of the war. His life as the Kuchiki heir is somehow so boring that Renji said once that he would rather write tons of reports and then take out his eyes rather than do the same things over and over again. Of course, his captain does not know about this particular opinion of his, because he would bankai his ass and then make him do lots and lots of paper work, which Renji hates. _Terribly_.

Byakuya looks out of his study into the beautiful garden and he feels a little empty. He frowns more and he forgets about the paper in front of him. It is strange that he has not registered this feeling before. Is it Rukia? Does he miss his sister more than usual? It is true he has not seen her much since she has become a lieutenant. Of course, he worries a lot about her and hates it when she has to go in missions all by herself. But he tends not to interrupt her way of life now and he is glad when she comes and visits him, spending the night at the manor and talking about the problems into her division or what her friends are doing to annoy her.

Byakuya feels more relaxed than ever when he listens to her patiently and smiles his little smile, which is reserved only to her. A smile promises brotherly love and loyalty that were not there before. He likes to see her commanding because in spite of her height, his sister demands high respect and the people around her have started to give her more and more.

Could it be the council of the elders that has become troublesome? Yes, it is true that lately they have tried to tell him with subtlety that he soon will have to pick someone as a partner and together adopt another person who will become the Kuchiki heir. He knows that soon they are going to turn more vocal and he hates the fact that he will have to start looking for someone. The good thing is that the Kuchikis do not care about the sex of his partner as long as he or she is worthy of the name. They do not even care about the origins anymore, especially since after Hisana, their ruler has turned into a cold block of ice and that promises little future for the most prestigious family. The bad thing is that very few people rise to their standards, and usually those people are either disliked by Byakuya, or they simply leave him indifferent, which is even worse. Therefore, of course, the problem of marriage will arise again and he will have to agree with them. He has a duty to perform and as per his duty, he will have to get married.

This perspective leaves him quite cold and he frowns even more. Shouldn't he be more preoccupied by the perspective? After all, it is his life. However, he has not felt like that for a very long time now. Ever since Hisana had died, he was sure that his heart probably died with her because she has been the only person to make him feel alive. Well, her and that annoying….

His wonderful grey eyes grow wider because that train of thought makes him suddenly feel fear. He does not like that direction and he is glad when all of the sudden a servant announces the visit of his lieutenant. He is so glad for an excuse of not following that train of thought that he smiles gently when Renji gets in. A smile, which, of course, makes his lieutenant freeze on the spot and think that the end of the world is coming, or you know, Aizen might come back to life, which is very possible now.

"What is it, Renji?" He asks calmly his lieutenant.

"Huh?" Renji can't be blamed for this reaction. Seriously, he can't, because for crying out loud his captain has just you know, _smiled_, like _actually_ smiled. Well, of course, it did not reach his eyes but that twitch of lips definitely can be called a smile. Wow, miracles do happen!

"I said what is it?" Of course, Byakuya schools his features in becoming cold and impenetrable again because that is who he is and Renji musses on the fact that the only time in his life when he does not look like a walking and breathing statue is when Ichigo is around. The orange bastard is the only one who gets a reaction from his captain, and seriously, statues are nice and everything, but only when admired from a distance. No matter how much he respects the man and cares for him, Renji thinks it must be a hell to live with such an icy man and he does not wish that on anyone.

"Excuse me, captain, for disturbing you at home, but I forgot to ask for your permission to visit the real world for two days."

"The real world? Whatever for?"

Now, Renji gets uncomfortable because his damn captain sees right through him. Even though he would like to lie and hide the truth, he knows that there is no use and he just says with half a voice.

"It's Ichigo's birthday, sir, and Rukia is throwing him a surprise party. I was invited to attend." He leaves out the fact that in fact Rukia threatened him to cut his balls off if he dares not to show up and then proceeded to show him why he should keep the mentioned balls. Damn, it was the sweetest conviction that anyone has shown to Renji. Of course, he should not be thinking of that in front of his captain, especially since he is going to propose soon and he needs the annoying man's approval but still…

"Ichigo's birthday?" Byakuya repeats. With that one question, Renji is suddenly startled because of two reasons. First being that his captain has never _ever_ mentioned the orange ball of energy using his first name and secondly, the captain looks like he is about to have a stroke or something.

What Renji does not know is the fact that Ichigo's name has hit Byakuya deep within his chords and he feels like he might heave under the power of the blow.

"Yes, Renji, you can have the two days, so make the most of them. I assume you will be accompanied by other people as well?"

"Yes, sir. Ikkaku, Yumichika and Hisagi; and Kira will accompany us briefly."

"I understand. Very well. You are dismissed." Byakuya feels Renji's surprise, even senses the question in his eyes, but his lieutenant does not dare to say anything. He knows better.

"Thank you, sir."

As Renji leaves, Byakuya looks at his trembling hands and it kicks him right in the gut: he misses _Ichigo_. This is the one piece in his life that it is not here. How come can that annoying young man mean so much to him? How could just hearing his name make him want to go into the real world right then and there and just be next to the young man? He is devastated. He thinks he is the worse and hates the substitute shinigami. He does, he really _does_ and yet, he knows that he has been lying to himself all this time.

Byakuya takes a deep breath. Making the best decision in the case, he almost runs towards the temple and opens the small cabinet looking at her picture. For once in his life, the smile of his late wife does not help him. On the contrary, she seems like she is mocking him and he remembers the many times she has told him that one day he will feel a greater passion than he has ever felt in his one hundred years. He collapses in front of it and feels exhausted. Why has he reached so far? How could he pretend so much that he did not want the kid?

Because he did, so badly, ever since the first time he settled his eyes on him. When those warm chocolate eyes settled on Renji and did not even look at him, Byakuya thought:

_I need. I want. I want him. I want to possess him so badly._

He ignored everything else. There was so much passion in those eyes and so much fiery yearning to live that Byakuya felt physically hurt and he almost felt like running away. He wanted to obliterate everything that young man had made coming to life in just a few split seconds. That is why he had tried to kill the substitute shinigami. If he could just ignore everything else, then he would be just fine, but he was not. When he came back to the Soul Society, he kept dreaming of those eyes looking at him so longingly, and when he discovered that he was alive, he was so glad that it shocked him.

He hated Ichigo, yeah, that much was true. He hated him with passion because Ichigo was making him _feel_. Ichigo was there when he was finally finishing rebuilding his walls and he destroyed those walls in a fleeting second. When they fought together or when they argued, the young man had never looked at him with hate. On the contrary.

But now… now he realized that he has not seen Ichigo in such a long time and he hadn't even noticed. How did he miss that passion or those eyes looking him as if he was someone interesting and worthy of respect? Ichigo has been the only person in his life that has seen deep into his soul and perhaps this is why Byakuya let him in every once in a while, explaining things to him, but generally always telling him hurtful things as well. The last time he has seen the young man, Ichigo had looked at him with sorrowful eyes and Byakuya did not understand why he has not seen him since then.

He gets up and quickly gets outside, letting the night air surrounding him. Maybe it is time to be honest and admit that Kurosaki has never left him indifferent. He sometimes drove him so completely mad that all he wanted to do was kiss those orange words away. Byakuya stills in the night. Kiss? He wanted to kiss him? Byakuya groans and literally, face palms himself. That is just wonderful. Yes, he will go down in the history of the Kuchikis like the corruptor of children, because this is exactly what he dreams of doing.

Partially his hate for Ichigo was due to the young man's ability to make Byakuya see reason, read into his soul, bring his heart at the same time. Perhaps this was Kurosaki's greatest sin: melting the icy heart, destroying the walls, and now leaving Byakuya defenseless. He longs for those chocolate eyes making him almost taste passion so beyond his immortal powers. He longs for passing his fingers through Ichigo's soft spiky, ginger hair, knowing it probably feels like heaven, his finger pads drowning in a sea of orange smoothness. He longs for that lithe body.

Byakuya has never let himself do anything for his person. He knows that if he does this, there is no turning back because the young Kurosaki has never mentioned any interest in Byakuya's person other than to annoy him or make him question everything in which he has believed so far. Yes, Ichigo's effect on him is devastating, hurricane-like, and that is enough for him to act upon it. Time and time again, he has done his duty for Soul Society and for his clan. He will just go into the real world and….

And stop. Just stop! He should think this through. He can't act solely on his emotions, or maybe he does. He will miss an important event in Ichigo's life but he will make up for it later. He will have to find out what the young man thinks of him and if there is a small chance that the man might feel something for him. It is a long shot. Byakuya knows he is the type of man that does not encourage such feelings… any romantic feelings for that matter but still. He hopes that it will be enough.

He spends the following days preparing everything. He asks for the permission from the Soutaichou to spend a little more time in the real world. The Soutaichou smirks at him and just mumbles a little "_finally_", which leaves Byakuya wondering what he really meant. For a second, he thinks that he might get the courage to ask the older captain about that but he thinks better of it. He prepares everything to be left in Renji's care, who returns from the party two days later with a blessed out smile on his face and not even the incredible amount of paperwork awaiting him can erase that grin. In fact, his lieutenant does not say anything when he is left with the responsibilities of a captain. When Byakuya announces him, he has received an important mission in Karakura town, mission "_conquer Ichigo_" as Byakuya secretly calls it, Renji gets a little serious and demands to cover his captain's back. No offense to Renji, but this is something that Byakuya does not want him to cover, so he just tells his lieutenant to stick to his duty, and that is it. Renji has no problem doing so because he is an awesome lieutenant like that in his humble opinion, and because Byakuya's leaving also means more time with Rukia.

One morning Byakuya arrives in Karakura and he is surprised by the gorgeous day. The sun shines brightly in the sky and he feels strangely excited by the whole day. His careful planning will make everything easier and he is sure he will realize in a split second what Ichigo wants from him, that is if Ichigo wants indeed something from him. Urahara has prepared a gigai for him and has it waiting on him, but first he will make an appearance to Ichigo's apartment to see if he is at home.

Byakuya, simply dressed in his shinigami's uniform with no white robe, kenseikan, scarf, or gloves, and just Senbonzakura with him, feels oddly nice about the attire. He flash-steps towards the apartment and gets there almost instantly, but freezes looking on the window because such stunning beauty leaves him breathless.

Ichigo is sprawled on the couch surrounded by books, reading with a perfect Kurosaki scowl on his face. He holds a book in one hand while the other is folded under his head. He is wearing some blue faded jeans and his white shirt shows his perfect muscles, clinging in all the right places, and his bare feet resting on the arm of the couch. Byakuya feels like a stuttering boy, because Ichigo looks beyond his imagination, looks welcoming, alive, and full of energy. He feels like he should be doing something but he does not know what exactly. He rests on the window ledge for a while, taking in the beauty of the young man and his orange locks, which call for Byakuya's elegant fingers. He barely contains himself before finally letting a small sign of his reiatsu push through the window, as he watches Ichigo's eyes widen in wonder and tension.

Byakuya appears in the room with his royal elegance as usual. Seeing the sudden surprise on Ichigo's face, the older man thinks that maybe he was wrong in coming here, but he stills himself and says softly, "Kurosaki."

The young man gets up in a second and the utter surprise leaves Byakuya breathless. There is that longing look again and something darker in Ichigo's eyes, something that Byakuya does not understand yet.

"Byakuya? What the hell are you doing in here?"

Byakuya just takes in the sight in front of him, those beautiful, wonderful orange locks, those lips slightly humid, that elegant neck.

And just like that, Byakuya's careful planning goes to pieces as he just grabs the young man by the nape and kisses the life out of Ichigo. The explosion of _wantneedmore_ conquers all his senses until there is nothing else than Ichigo.


	3. Confrontation

**Disclaimer:** _Bleach_ and everything related to _Bleach_ belongs to Kubo Tite. The crazy ideas and the bad grammar belong to me.

_**3. Confrontation**_

Ichigo feels electrocuted. All his senses start to melt around the man that currently has him pinned to a wall. His body is on fire and all he wants is getting closer and closer to the one man that drives him crazy. He slowly moves his arms around the strong neck and draws that body closer and closer until there's no such thing as distance between them. If he is to be honest with himself, he loves the feeling of muscle on muscle, the tight pressure on his body. He feels fine letting go, any control swept away from him. Byakuya is kissing him like there's no tomorrow, like Ichigo is everything. Like there's no place where he'd rather be than in that particular place with him in his arms. And it's comforting to know, to feel that a person like Byakuya Kuchiki can feel something like this for him.

It's euphoric. It's madness. He should be saying something, but he can't. He had waited for this moment for so long, he had prayed for it, dreamed of it, that he just let's this take a moment. It's just one moment in time. Maybe there won't be another occasion. Maybe this is it: just one moment in time when he has the possibility to taste the inflexible man, to learn his curves, to breathe his breaths. His hands grip tight the rough material of the shinigami uniform and he wishes. He wishes this would last forever.

Teeth clash and lips tingle. Tongues embrace and breaths are shared. It takes everything to finally pull away. It takes nothing to start all over again.

But they don't do it.

They slowly untangle themselves and Ichigo feels painfully incomplete all of the sudden. It's his house damn it and yet he feels out of place. He sighs and passes his fingers through his ginger hair. At the exact moment Byakuya reaches out for him, craving to do the exact same thing. The older man startles and lets his hand finally fall without touching the young man.

"Sorry," he mumbles and Ichigo scowls.

"For what? Barging in here or kissing me? Because I swear to God if you say both of them or any of them, I will kick your ass."

"Kurosaki..."

"Ichigo!" The young man screams.

"Excuse me?"

"It's Ichigo, fucking Ichigo! Why the hell you find it so difficult? Why can't you fucking call me Ichigo? Especially now after you kissed me. Can you for once in your life be true to yourself and face the obvious?"

"The obvious?"

"Just say my fucking name!" He ignores the question and he suddenly feels tired and plops on the couch. "Just tell me why you are here so you can leave and stop tormenting me."

"I'm tormenting you now?"

"Yes, I was supposed to be studying. I have an exam really soon so I need to get ready." Ichigo's chocolate warm eyes dart to Byakuya and the nobleman is startled by the sheer passion that he sees in them. That passion that torments him because he feels it only when the young man is involved, only when the young man screams at him making a selfish prick, a stuck-up bastard and then proceeds in yelling more profanities, half of which are never understood by Byakuya because yeah, he had such a sheltered education. But most of all he feels it when Ichigo kisses him. Granted the ginger- haired man has kissed him just once, but the sheer passion of it is exhausting… and terrifying and completely utterly overwhelming in the best of sense.

"Why did you go?" Byakuya mumbles instead because he still can't make his reason go silent, because he still can't make that voice inside of him which screams, "_he doesn't want you either_". Like it happened with Hisana. Like it didn't allow him to get close to anybody else except his sister.

"Why did you kiss me?" Ichigo says instead and it's so not like Ichigo.

"I don't know."

"You don't know? That's just great, Byakuya. That abso-fucking-lutely great." Ichigo checks Byakuya's face, which is totally an impenetrable wall of unidentified emotions. He wants to take the pain that he sees in the soft grey eyes, and he wants to resurrect Hisana and kill her all over again, even if she was Rukia's sister, even though Rukia would fucking torture him, kill him and then resurrect him all over again. He would probably be doomed to look at her crappy drawings forever. However she would probably understand his motivations because it was Hisana and her horrible sense of duty, of telling Byakuya the truth, that she doesn't love him, just respects him.

Ichigo takes in the sight of the man in front of him and wonders when was the first time that his feelings have changed for this cold man. He takes in the simple black hair raised in a ponytail, or the simple uniform of a shinigami which of course doesn't damper his natural elegance. He has always been shocked by the elegance and fluidity of Byakuya's moves even under the most horrible pressure. He likes to see those toned muscles fighting for survival and he wants sometimes to feel them really close. He checks the grey eyes that look at him and he still can't make what he sees in them. Is it fear? Is it disgust? Is it the inability to be true to himself?

"It's just… you were gone… and something was missing." Byakuya adds after a while trying to ruin the wall of silence that tends to enwrap them. Ichigo tugs his hair in frustration.

"It took you one year and a half to observe that I am missing." Ichigo spits back and Byakuya is shocked to feel the bitterness behind those words. "Why would you think that it has anything to do with me?"

"It has everything to do with you, Ichigo." The older man says it and Ichigo feels his name like a fucking punch in the jaw. He pretty much feels how he stops being a man and turns into a fucking girl under the sheer pleasure of hearing Byakuya saying his name.

"Excuse me?"

"It has everything to do with you." And this time it is Byakuya's time to get mad. "Ever since you have turned into my life, you have destroyed it in a whirlwind of everything. You make me think about the stupid laws and make me give up on them, make me see the injustice. You make me fight for my sister, and become a better captain. You make me want to do better and be better and by the Gods, I think I have proven this in the winter war. And yet nothing works with you, Ichigo. You're always disgruntling, you're always scowling at me, and you're always dissatisfied. Have I not made any changes for you?"

"You have not." Ichigo whispers more to himself but Byakuya hears it anyways because he's all being so attuned to Ichigo that he could probably see everything in the man.

"What?"

"You have not. Not for me anyways." Ichigo raises his eyes towards Byakuya. "What are we talking about here anyways, Byakuya? Tell me because I would really like to know. Are we talking about you finally admitting your gay over the moon thing that you have for me or are we just talking about my best friend's brother? 'Cause I think it should be best to say everything from the beginning so we don't get misunderstandings."

Byakuya is shocked, although the kiss should have been a clue. His grey eyes look at Ichigo in a startling way and he thinks that he has never seen such a beautiful thing before in his life. He looks at Ichigo like it's the first time all over again because this is how it feels. He should almost fall to his knees and admit it.

From the very beginning, since he has seen the orange-haired smart mouth, there hasn't been anyone else.

Ichigo looks confused at Byakuya because the man is still as hard as an ice cube but he hopes that what he says next will make the man melt forever.

"I have been in love with you for so long I have completely forgotten how it is not to." He confesses slowly like he's afraid that he will scare Byakuya. And Ichigo feels raw from the confession but he must keep going on: "I wanted you to see me. I wanted so badly – that's why I have achieved shinkai and then bankai and I defeated Aizen. And every time it felt like you would warm up to me, you would go as far as possible. And I wanted to scream in frustration because all my feelings for you have always been so serious. You make it all so serious, so dreadful, so complicated when it actually isn't. And I know that you're not indifferent, that you feel something, but I don't know what it is and frankly I am tired of waiting. I'm so tired."

There's a complete silence. The birds outside are singing and the sun is shining like a fucking cliché, but in the house there's a petrified silence and Ichigo blinks hard to avoid spilling the damn tears that want to wash his cheeks right now. He waited for so long and now that he said something, he feels hallow and powerless because Kuchiki Byakuya won't ever admit anything. He can almost picture himself hiding away from his life, getting to know every patient, and avoiding going home. And then after death, avoiding anything related with the shinigami world.

"I see…" He mumbles finally tired and he sits down on the couch again, taking the book in his shaking hands. "Well, that went well. You can let yourself –"

"The first time I saw you, I wanted nothing but to possess you", Byakuya's voice astounds Ichigo, "because you were beyond anything I have seen in my long life." Byakuya settles on an armchair and looks at Ichigo. Really looks at him, letting his emotions get the better of him. "And I hated you for that. I hated you for so long that it got like a custom. I would see you and I would get angry because you make me want to feel and this is one thing that I can't afford."

"Why?"

"You got to understand one thing about me, Ichigo." And the teen feels like melting all over again when he hears the nobleman's husky voice saying his name again. "I have been raised to be the heir of one of the four noble families from Soul Society. Feelings had nothing to do with my duty. I was raised to save the clan and the clan's interests. And you wanted to change all that all of the sudden."

"Not all of the sudden," Ichigo replies.

"Ichigo, I know you. You have no patience when it comes to this sort of things. You want me to change, to forget about everything and anything just to be here with you."

"When have I ever said that?" Ichigo looks him surprised and it takes Byakuya a full second to realize that this is what _he_ actually wants. And the shock of it makes him look completely defenseless and all resolute at the same time.

"You didn't, but I thought of it."

"What?" Ichigo swallows hard because he's suddenly scared by what comes next.

"I said I thought how it would be to live with you, to give up everything for you."

"No, you didn't." And Byakuya finds it amusing how suddenly it is Ichigo who looks afraid and scared shitless. And although Byakuya feels the same, he continues in the light of his new revelation.

"Yes, I did, especially after Aizen's death and the end of the war. I even thought how I could let the council run the clan for a while, how to live like a mortal man because the life here is much short than the one in Soul Society. I even thought what I could do in this life."

"Stop. Please, just- Don't. Please." Ichigo begs because it is so hard to breathe and he wants nothing more than to be alone. Because this was a precious dream and he doesn't want to lose that.

"I don't want to stop." Byakuya puts Senbonzakura next to him and he slides in front of Ichigo, avoiding touching the young man, afraid that this might all just disappear. Because his soul sings. From the first time since Hisana, his soul sings and he feels wonderful. "We've done this like you've wanted so far. This time it's my turn and how _I_ want things."

And then Ichigo gets afraid. Because this... this gentleness… really he can't handle it. Because Ichigo isn't used to people being gentle with him and as Byakuya approaches him with such intent, Ichigo gets smaller on the couch. Byakuya settles next to him and closes slowly the distance as if Ichigo is a scared cat that needs reassurance. And when he slowly touches the other man's cheek, Byakuya knows that not all things are so easy.

Ichigo isn't used to this. He isn't used to gentleness and tenderness and people treating him like he is something special. The last time when somebody has been kind to him was when his mother came to pick him up from karate practice. Since then he got a different treatment from people. His father started to throw punches when he least expected. Yeah, he knew that his father wanted to prepare him, but sometimes he longed for a tender gesture. And then the fights with the guys that picked a fight with him because of his hair and then Rukia who would rather punch him and yeah generally all his friends…they don't hug him. They don't show their appreciation through gentle gestures and he admits that he would be the first to refuse any sort of sign of such a thing. But nonetheless it doesn't mean he doesn't want one. Every once in a while he was lying in the bed and pretend that all the wounds don't hurt him so bad, that he doesn't need any gentleness. And now when that elegant hand finally caresses his jaw, he is so afraid that he might break.

And Byakuya gets closer and just doesn't act like when he barged in Ichigo. He just scoots closer and slowly caresses his face, circling small patterns with his thumbs on Ichigo's cheeks and the young man whimpers. He fucking whimpers because it has been so long since he has done this, it has been so long since someone has been gentle to him. He opens his eyes and he startles when he sees Byakuya so close to him. The old man watches him with intent and yet there's a small fear still receding behind that grey colour. And Ichigo swallows hard.

"What are you afraid of?" He mumbles finally unable to take his eyes from that gorgeous man that sits so close to him.

"Of having my heart broken all over again." Byakuya breathes in and locks his lips with Ichigo's for what feels like a short moment drown in eternity, and then in all seriousness adds: "But living without you isn't an option." And Ichigo is so anxious, and yet so amazingly happy that he doesn't care anymore about the implications, about what it might mean. He just enjoys the closeness between them and this time when Byakuya closes the distance between the two of them, Ichigo reacts.

He lets himself caressed, he lets himself be kissed and kiss back, letting himself taste the pure taste of Byakuya who tastes like heaven and happiness and sappy love and it makes him happy inside, so he just gets closer and closer until there's no room anymore between Byakuya and him and the older man enjoys that even more because he slowly pushes his long fingers under Ichigo's t-shirt, roaming hands caressing and mapping each muscle. The young man kisses back hard and he trades his fingers through that black hair, smooth as silk and he feels like crying, he's that happy.

Their kisses become hotter and hotter and they don't have time to pull their clothes out; they just get off like that, half dressed breathing each other breaths but never, not once letting go. And after that Ichigo lets Byakuya still breathing hard on top of him while he's panting worse than after a battle and he thinks that this is perfect. He doesn't want anymore than this.

"I love you." Byakuya whispers softly, "I really do love you. You have to believe that." Gently Byakuya looks at him like he's special, like he's the source of all happy things in this world. Like he has always been like that and Ichigo can't handle this. He feels like he might freak out, but then again he always freaks out so that's it. He just smiles, for the first time in a very long time and says gently:

"I love you too." And the smile that he gets back is precious and melts his troubled heart away too. "How long are you going to stay?" He asks hesitantly.

"Indefinitely."

And that answer… right there? Makes Ichigo probably the happiest man in the whole world.

_A/N: Thank you for reading. As always a big thank you to my reviewers and to all those out there that read my story. You all make my day. _


	4. Cohabitation:  Another

**Disclaimer:** Kubo Tite is the owner and creator of _Bleach_. I am just a humble fanfiction writer, borrowing his characters to tell a story for entertainment purposes only.

_**4. Cohabitation – Another's Point of View**_

She notices them one morning when most people are still in bed. She's the type of person that doesn't sleep very well, so she's always awake at the most ungodly hours.

Of course the story doesn't being in that particular moment. It starts when Kurosaki Ichigo enters in her life for the very first time. She meets Ichigo when he moves to the building and she tries to get into his life at the beginning. Ichigo is friendly with her but stand off-ish and soon she realizes that the young man is having another life, one in which she would never get into. Ichigo has friends from high school and admittedly they are all a bunch of colourful people, but she finds herself time and time again wishing she could be one of them. And then, about three years ago, a dark haired man appears into Ichigo's life and she feels confused because she hasn't seen him before and all of the sudden that dark haired man has become Ichigo's roommate.

But that morning when she finally spots them together, she understands that it is more than that between the two of them. Because no man looks at his roommate like that and Byakuya, the older man's name, is looking at Ichigo as if the world shines in those warm chocolate orbs and Ichigo looks into Byakuya's grey orbs with the same devotion that she has been dreaming about time and time again.

She's a writer. She writes historical and romance novels. She's quite successful and yet, when she sees the adoration with which they look at each other like that, she wants to scream and yell at them and probably out them to the real world because she doesn't have anything like that. She hates them or at least this is what she tells herself. She hates them because they have what she doesn't: the honesty of love, the power of depending on someone else; she doesn't care that Ichigo has been nothing but friendly to her, she doesn't care about the fact that Byakuya has been nothing but polite to her and even helped her once with the groceries. She hates them.

At first.

Then comes the envy. She looks at them walking around the empty street hand in hand because at that early hour there's no one on the streets and they can be free with their love. Byakuya has his hair tied in a ponytail, wearing a white shirt and some grey jeans. Ichigo is dressed in a grey t-shirt and some black jeans. They look as if they have just landed there from a fashion magazine. Ichigo says something with his usual enthusiasm, making Byakuya stop him sometimes to ask questions or just smile. Every once in a while, Byakuya leans closer and smells the scent that Ichigo probably gives. And she knows so well that scent. She dreams of it sometimes, she wanted to be hers at one moment. But that morning, Ichigo's scent is just Byakuya's.

Byakuya is holding Ichigo's hand like he never wants to let go and all of the sudden he looks around. Spotting no one, he leans suddenly and captures Ichigo's lips.

Her heart stops, probably just like Ichigo's, although the younger man has the presence of mind to bury himself in Byakuya's arms more and more until there's nothing but their bodies together. Byakuya takes his time probably because he wishes to have that sort of freedom every day. She licks her lips and feels a deep ache within her soul. A few tears wash her cheeks as Ichigo's hand slowly goes up and down on Byakuya's back in tender motions, while the other one is on his chest, feeling his heart. Byakuya just enwraps him in his strong arms and she suddenly lets herself down on the floor, next to the window and cries her heart out. Because she knows that these guys have a perfect love with all the need and the passion and the want that have lacked in her life. And she knows that most people won't ever understand that and they won't ever let them be happy in public. Or free.

But mostly she cries because she would have wanted to feel that too, because she has desired Ichigo to be hers but she doubts her imaginary crush will be another's than Byakuya's. She would have liked to be the one to caress those orange locks and be the one who wakes up to his beautiful face. She knows she won't ever have that. She cries so hard her head pounds by the time she finishes and the guys aren't out anymore. She slowly crawls in her bed and sleeps.

It takes baby steps but she starts to make them. For once she gets out a lot more, not refusing anymore her friends. During one dinner at a family restaurant, she spots them again. Her heart swells, this time in joy. Byakuya and Ichigo are dressed casual again: Byakuya is dressed in a blue navy shirt and some black trousers while Ichigo sports a green t-shirt with elegant back jeans. They are surrounded by their friends: there's a small woman with a red-haired guy that constantly smiles at her and she can see the wedding rings on their fingers glittering in the semi-darkness of the room. She sees a thin guy wearing glasses leaning towards an orange haired girl and kissing her softly. She sees a brunette girl smiling softly in their direction with somehow a wistful look on her face. There's also a tall guy, with tanned skin smiling to his friends. They are an eclectic bunch especially when a guy with a 69 tattoo on his face appears accompanied by a silver haired man; the red-haired man claps the young 69 man on the shoulder and the silver man says something that makes everybody at the table smile in their direction, while the young guy definitely blushes; Byakuya says something and they smile graciously but then move to another table.

But she can't help be attracted by Ichigo and Byakuya and the way even their bodies angle towards each other. Byakuya is definitely the silent type just like the huge guy but Ichigo talks animatedly with the red-haired guy and they seem to argue although the amused glitter from those around them says the contrary. But nonetheless while Byakuya has his arm slung friendly over Ichigo's chair, Ichigo keeps his body closer to the older man's and she can see how much it hurts them to pretend that they are nothing but friends. She smiles fondly at them and then turns back to her friends. It's best to let them be alone in their own little world.

A couple of days later she walks dejectedly through the rain because she has forgotten her umbrella. She lives in her own little world and only too late she has seen the dark clouds hanging in the sky. She tried to find cover but the rain gets her so she decides that it's best to just keep on walking. She keeps concentrating on the how the heavy drops fall on the pavement and then all of the sudden there's no rain. She looks up and she is startled to see an umbrella above her. She looks around into some of the most surprising eyes that she had seen. From afar they always seem cold but from such closeness she thinks that they are really warm. Somehow she thinks that those grey orbs have become so warm since they have settled on Ichigo.

Today Byakuya is dressed in a dark suit and has a briefcase with him. He was probably coming from work. She grips the groceries bag a little closer and she tries to smile gratefully, not knowing if she has managed or not.

"Thank you." She mumbles a little intimidated by the presence of this man so close to her.

"It's no bother, Shinamori-san." She's surprised again and almost stumbles. He grips her by the forearm and steadies her; when she looks up again, he seems slightly amused.

"You know my name, Kuchiki-san?"

"Yes, well, we have been living next to each other for some time now. I think it would be rude not to know your name. And you know mine as well."

"Yes, well, …" She blushes, she feels it raising on her neck and she feels warm next to him as they move closer to get both of them under the umbrella.

"I'm sorry if I seem bold but I have read one of your novels," he starts saying startling her again, "and I must confess that I am pretty fascinated with the power of your research. Your skill in combining the truthful data with some of your imagination is powerful and shows the strength of your talent."

"Thank you." She mumbles and smiles again flushed. "I am really happy that you consider my work worthy of your time, Kuchiki-san."

"Please, the honour was mine for reading such a masterpiece." He says in that deep voice of his again and smiles a little and she feels like she has been opening her Christmas present a little earlier. While Ichigo has always been friendly with her, Byakuya has never talked to her before, except the banalities that neighbours exchange sometimes when they meet on the staircase or on the hallway.

"Have you finished work for today?" She asks him eager to continue the conversation because she really wants to be part of their world. Even if it's just for a little bit.

"Yes, I am done for today."

"Excuse me for being so bold, but what is that you do?"

"I am an university professor at the T University." He answers. "I specialize in classic literature."

"Really, fascinating. Then I've always been wondering: what do you think of…?"

They start a small conversation in which Byakuya shows her that she still has so much to learn about literature and promises that she will visit one of his courses. When they finally reach for their block of flats, they are engaged in a thorough conversation and she says goodbye to him, having the feeling that this must be one of the best days of her life.

But it's far from over. In the evening she feels a little weaker than usual and her nose already gives signs that she might have a cold. Byakuya might have saved her, but it isn't enough. Just as she's about to burrow herself under the sheets furthermore, a sudden knocking makes her get out of bed. She's surprised to see Ichigo. The man looks beautiful as always, so much in fact that her heart stops a little, because he bores a small smile, friendly, and he carries a small bowl of soup and something else.

"Good evening, Shinamori-san. I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour but Byakuya told me that you were caught by the rain today and I just wanted to make sure you're ok."

"Yes, please, come in, Kurosaki-san." She makes him come in the kitchen and she thanks the merciful God for having cleaned it a couple of hours ago. Ichigo smiles again.

"Please, call me Ichigo. Most of the people do that anyways and we know each other for some time now."

"Yes, well then, Ichgio-kun, thank you so much for your kind gesture and please call me Midori as well."

"Very well, Midori-san." He lets the bowl of soup to rest on the table and only then draws the small packet, which apparently contains some medicines. "The soup is for the cold and the medicine is for the splitting headache that I'm sure you're sporting at the moment."

"How do you know?"

"I study to be a doctor. I may be in pediatrics but I'm still a doctor." She smiles humbled by his kindness.

"You shouldn't have bothered."

"Please, it's the least I can do. Byakuya was pretty adamant that we should take care of such a great talent such as yours. In fact he's the one that made the soup. I'm just the delivery guy."

"Thank you so much." She blushes again hearing his words. "And please thank Kuchiki-san as well."

"I wish I could tell you to call him Byakuya as well but with that guy one never knows." He rolls his eyes in good humour and she smiles again as he passes his fingers through his hair. "Well, if you need anything else or you don't feel well, please don't hesitate to ask for our help. I have some crazy hours at the moment at work, but Byakuya is fresh. He'll be of any help." She notices the bags under the beautiful eyes and she feels guilty.

"Thank you. You have done more than enough for me."

"It's nothing. Well, I will let you rest then."

Ichigo smiles again and then he gets out of the apartment leaving her happier than ever. She hears small whispers in the rooms next to her and then a comfortable quietness settles. There's only her apartment and theirs on this floor and she feels happy now. More than ever.

Thanks to their help she doesn't get a cold and the next day she feels pretty confident in her powers to go and knock on the door to thank them for being so kind to them. Byakuya answers the door, mostly dressed for school, with a cup of coffee in one hand and some papers in the other.

"Kuchiki-san, good morning. Please excuse me for this hour. I just wanted to thank you for your kind attention, I mean yours and Ichigo-kun's."

"Oh, Shinamori-san, good morning. Please, come in."

"I don't want to bother."

"No bother at all. I was just getting a cup of coffee. Would you like one?"

"Yes, please."

Just then Ichigo comes into the kitchen as well with his hair still tousled, a sign that he has barely opened his eyes. She smiles gently at him while he barely registers her presence with a small smile and a "Good morning, Midori-san." He gets by her and settles at the table just as Byakuya finally leaves his papers and tousles with Ichigo's hair, while Ichigo just smiles happily.

"I told you there's no need to wake up." The older man mumbles gently.

"But I won't be seeing you until tonight. That is if you're still awake."

"I'm always awake for you." Byakuya smiles again and makes a cup of coffee to her and to Ichigo who seems a little better than last night but still tired. She catches the glimpse of worry that settles in the grey orbs but she doesn't say anything. It's probably the medical school and the stress. Ichigo seems like a really serious guy.

She notices how they joke as Byakuya is more uptight than Ichigo but they still manage to make her not feeling awkward and still involved in their conversation. She might think they are just friends if it isn't for the small gestures. They seem to feel the need to constantly touch each other as if to reassure they are still there for one another and she feels happy all over again to witness such love. She excuses herself after a while and then goes to her apartment promising herself to experience such a thing.

A couple of weeks later, deep in the night, she spots them as she drinks a cup of tea on her balcony. She has her lights turned off so she is covered by darkness. They are both comfortably dressed and they keep their bodies together. They seem as if they have been out celebrating something. Byakuya has a hand over Ichigo's waist and the young man burrows himself into the older man. They look again around them and then kiss comfortably. There's no passion in the kiss, just pure undiluted love. Byakuya caresses Ichigo's face and Ichigo smiles a little smile covered by the semi-darkness of the street. They hug each other and then proceed to enter the building.

She goes quickly inside to hear the sign on their existence next to her apartment. She hears the jingle of keys and Ichigo whispering:

"She was looking beautiful, wasn't she?"

"Yes, I think Ishida-san is a very lucky man." Byakuya replies in a deep voice.

"Can't find the key?" There's a small amusement in Ichigo's voice.

"I still have to get used to the fact that we close our door in two places. As if someone might rob us." Byakuya grumbles just as he snorts a small noise of satisfaction. He must have found the key because there's the sound of an opened door and small giggles.

"You know who also looked great tonight?" Byakuya's voice is muffled by the sound of kissing as the door finally closes behind them and she can't make the conversation anymore. But she knows where it leads and she feels envious again. But in a good way. She smiles in the darkness of the room. She has befriended them now and she gets the feeling that while they will always keep a distance from the others, they will be her friends.

"Are you ready to go to bed now?" The slight husky masculine voice startles her from her open-eyes dream and she looks at Aoshi, her fellow writer who confessed his love for her for some time now and she smiles at him. Because tonight she feels as lucky as her neighbours.

"Yes, I am now." The strong man that has arrived in her life reaches for her and they start to kiss. And the following day when she sees Byakuya and Ichigo kissing in the morning before taking off to separate directions, she doesn't feel lonely anymore. She doesn't feel envious anymore. Because now she has what they have.

And she has their friendship. And one day when they will meet Aoshi, she hopes that Byakuya won't say anything embarrassing about his writings while Ichigo won't play the protective brother. Actually she kind of, sort of, hopes that this is exactly what they are going to do.

Needless to say, they don't disappoint.


	5. Cohabitation:  Jealousy

**Disclaimer: **So _Bleach_ definitely belongs to Kubo Tite, because if these guys belonged to me … well, that would be a different story. -_^

_**5. Cohabitation - Jealousy**_

So Byakuya knows, all right? He knows that Ichigo deserves something more, that he is so alive and so passionate about what he's doing. He knows also that Ichigo loves him so very fucking much sometimes it hurts and the way he always manages to express his love is a mixture of awe that somebody loves him back and surprise that Byakuya is still here. As if Byakuya would be anywhere else. He rolls his eyes even now at the mere thought.

So he shouldn't be thinking right now how much he wants to rip that guy's head off just for the way in which he looks at Ichigo. Byakuya wants to yell that Ichigo is _his_ property, _his_ love, _his_ only reason to live and that mother fucker has nothing to do in there. He wants to get Senbonzakura from his sleep and bankai this asshole's ass so bad that that it takes a moment for Byakuya to calm himself down and not go there and just rip the heart out of the bastard.

The bastard's name is Kenji Saitou, a stupid name for a future medic. Seriously, he would down right refuse to have a medic named like that. And what's with those golden locks? He's cut his hair short and sometimes when he laughs Ichigo ruffles his hair affectionately and Kenji looks like Ichigo is the source of all happy things in the world: like kittens and butterflies and puppies and shit. And all right, Ichigo _is_ all that, granted, but only Byakuya is entitled to know that and it grates his nerves to see another man realizing the awesomeness of his boyfriend and long time partner.

That stupid Kenji leans a little closer and whispers something to Ichigo's ears. And. that. is. it. That mother fucking asshole is going down. He doesn't care that it's illegal to use his sword. He will shred that man to pieces and be done with it. Byakuya moves quick but not quick enough because the man smiles again and seems to enjoy the new acquired closeness with Ichigo, because he doesn't step back while his boyfriend looks at him confused.

"Hey, Ichigo!" Byakuya greets and circles the young man's shoulders with his elegant arm and when Ichigo turns to him, he finally smiles that 1000 watt smile that makes him look slightly crazed, as Rukia put it, but to Byakuya it is just looks adorable and a proof that he's loved. His arm encloses even more around his shoulders when the young man inches closer.

"Hey, yourself." He whispers and then smiles back at Kenji. Ha, Byakuya wants to say, _top that_ _you asshole, since you're never going to mean anything to Ichigo_. And the said asshole's smile seems to grow dimmer and Byakuya feels like a fucking jealous girl but can't help from smiling a little in satisfaction.

"Oh, Kenji," Ichigo says completely oblivious to the whole matter, "let me introduce you to Byakuya. Byakuya, this is Kenji." Is it wrong for Byakuya to think that maybe he would have liked to present himself with the full pride of the Kuchiki name? Never mind, he will search for this pitiful excuse of a man after he dies and he will show him how much Ichigo loves him and how beneath he is.

"Nice to meet you." Kenji holds his hand. "I have heard very many things about you. Ichigo always mentions your name."

"Nice to meet you too." Byakuya takes his hand and if he squeezes a little tougher, Kenji doesn't say anything and he plays the oblivious card. "Ichigo told me you're doing pediatrics as well."

"Yes, I think both me and Ichigo share love for children and the need to help them." Kenji smiles affectionately at Ichigo who smiles back. Because yes, it's true: his boyfriend is a sucker for any squealing human being within a ten miles radium and it feels stupid, but nonetheless he doesn't want him to have anything in common with the Blond Idiot. Hmmm, good nickname by the way.

"Kenji is going to the same hospital like I am. Isn't that great?" The stupid orange ball of energy says and seriously, how can such a smart man like him not see what Kenji is trying to do? Seriously, is it that hard?

"It's nice. Good for you." Byakuya says again because honestly he doesn't know what else to do except maybe fucking Ichigo in public and damn himself afterwards to a life of shame and blue balls, because most certainly Ichigo would never sleep with him again.

"Yeah, nice." Kenji seems as if he wants to say something more but instead of that he just takes Ichigo's arm (hell, no!) and slowly pauses over a bandage of his wrist, his small but elegant fingers caressing the small bandage (seriously, hell, no!): "Take care of that wound over the weekend, Ichigo. We are doctors now and we have to take care of our hands."

"I will." Ichigo replies and all of the sudden doesn't feel as comfortable as he felt a couple of seconds before so he slowly but surely pries himself from Kenji's grasp. And the blond man almost whimpers at the loss of contact and Byakuya almost steps between the two of them because he isn't going to let that man spend another second around his precious Ichigo. Thank God he doesn't have to work this weekend and he will make sure to remind Ichigo over and over again whom he belongs to.

"Take care, Kenji. Talk to you on Monday." Ichigo says and the blond man dares to smile a little again.

"Sure thing. It was nice meeting you, Byakuya."

"You too." He can't stop his biting tone while he's warning silently that if this man will approach Ichigo any further, he's going to kick his ass.

"Bye." Kenji finally mumbles and he really looks like he might have got the message.

As Ichigo buckles his seat belt, he looks pensively back at Kenji's place.

"I think Kenji misses his girlfriend. He told me that she studies at another university and lately they had conflicting schedules."

Seriously? Misses his girlfriend his ass. That Kenji is all over Ichigo and the stupid orange haired boyfriend of his thinks that the guy is straight? Damn it to hell! Byakuya complicates his life too much.

"Most likely." He finally mumbles back and then let's Ichigo talk to him about the day he had in the hospital and how fun and exhilarating his day had been. Only when they get to their small apartment does Ichigo realize that Byakuya has been incredibly quiet and when he comes back from the shower, he looks a little bit confused at the hardened look that Byakuya has when he finally takes into Ichigo's lithe body.

"What happened to your hand?" Byakuya finally manages to ask because now he can clearly see that Ichigo's left wrist has an incredible ugly shade of red and there's a gash there that looks nasty.

"A violent man at the emergency. We could barely restrain him." Ichigo shrugs as he wonders through the bedroom to put some boxers and a thin t-shirt on him. "Nothing serious."

"It looks serious to me." Byakuya mumbles because he feels again the urge to bankai someone but this time for a completely different reason.

"You have nothing to worry about." Ichigo smiles softly at him and this time Byakuya can't restrain the flutter in his heart and the love that shines in his eyes.

Ichigo's becoming more of a man and Byakuya sometimes feels like he can't breathe in front of such beauty. And he wants so badly to mark that body all over again that all of the sudden he's up and in Ichigo's space.

"What is it?" His love asks him in his quiet tone, not wanting to break Byakuya, because to tell you the truth, he's feeling like he might break because he's happy. He's happy to have the Ichigo's taste on his tongue as he kisses the young man, slow and lingering, still feeling droplets of water. He's happy to be there, crowding Ichigo into the wall, caging him there, as his kiss deepens and he tastes every corner of Ichigo's mouth. The young man groans in his mouth and Byakuya isn't satisfied. He wants more and more.

He finally lets his life to breathe a little, still caging him and Ichigo smiles a little lost.

"What was that for?"

"I love you. Do you know how much I love you?" Byakuya says a little possessively and then his eyes darken. "Sometimes I wish I could just mark you so that everybody knows you're off limits, that you're mine. _Mine_ alone."

"I love you too." Ichigo breathes out and lets his eyes reflect Byakuya's desire. "And I _am_ yours."

Byakuya growls and takes him all over again, their bodies flushed against each other. And if Ichigo goes to work on Monday with a monstrous hickey that makes the girls squeal like crazed fan girls and the boys scowl in jealousy (living proof that he has awesome sex), well, that's another thing that Byakuya doesn't mention.

_A/N: Ok, this was just a small thing that came into my mind before a much bigger chapter, which will come much sooner that you would expect. ^_^ Once again, thank you for reading this. You all are awesome. _


	6. Cohabitation: Rough Patch

**Disclaimer**_**: **_Not like you didn't know already, but I am definitely not Kubo Tite and _Bleach_ certainly doesn't belong to me.

_**6. Rough Patch**_

The thing is Byakuya isn't a patient man. Yes, his people know him as implacable and determined, cold and calculated, but truth be told, it's all just a mask. He's very impatient, but he manages to hide it very well. That is until today, because right now Byakuya strums his fingers, which imagine strangling that orange haired lover of his. Earlier he had called Ichigo and his lover mentioned how he can't wait to get home and have dinner with him. Apparently, he doesn't want that very much since he's already an hour late. A fucking hour.

Just then, as if on queue, Ichigo appears on the door. He looks disheveled and tired and definitely his clothes might have seen better days. But excuse him, Byakuya doesn't have the fucking patience at that moment so he starts right away, with a perfectly manufactured mask that sometimes Byakuya uses to hide himself even deeper.

"Where have you been?"

"Huh?

"You said you'd be home an hour ago." Ichigo plops on the coach, groaning in pleasure. "Something happened? Another emergency?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that. Kenji's girlfriend cancelled her dinner with him at the last moment so I went with him. He didn't want to waste a perfect reservation. We should go there sometimes. They have really nice food."

As soon as he hears Kenji's name, Byakuya feels his blood turning cold, because, if he hates one person in this world, that's most certainly Kenji, especially since this man has become pretty obviously interested in Ichigo. Lately though, the good old doctor has used these cancellations more and more in order to have Ichigo all by himself and Byakuya feels as waking up Senbonzakura and kill the son of a bitch just so he could see his blood spilling. But what Byakuya hates the most is the fact that Ichigo insists to see the young man as nothing but a friend and not an enemy who disrupts more and more their lives.

"Are you telling me that you had dinner with Kenji and you didn't even bother to fucking give me a call?" The dangerous tone in Byakuya's voice warns Ichigo and he finally dares to open his eyes, his stance readily tensed as he sees the look on Byakuya's face.

"Yeah, about that – sorry. It was so out of the blue. I've completely forgotten about our conversation."

"You forgot?" Byakuya can't believe his ears. "Then how about you forget about this?" And in the next second he pushes with his hands everything from the table, making Ichigo jumping from the coach. There's a mess on the floor, but no one gives a fuck about it, as the two of them stare at each other in tensed almost electrifying air.

"What the fuck, Byakuya?" Ichigo yells, looking at him like he's gone mad. Well, it's probably true. He has gone mad only because of fucking Kenji.

"I'll tell you what the fuck, Ichigo." Byakuya is using the same tone as he did when they first met and it clearly brings back bad memories to Ichigo because the young man scowls even more and his body is so strung up that it's painful to watch. Probably if he wasn't so angry, he would take the young man and mark him all over again just so that fucking Kenji knows whom Ichigo belongs to.

"I'm sick and tired of this. For months now, Ichigo, _months_, Kenji has sort of used these cancellations and takes you with him. Hell, in the last month, you've probably eaten more with him than with me. So tell me why is that? Why is that every time Kenji asks you out you're more than happy to go and yet you don't remember to give me a fucking call?"

"Is this about Kenji? Again? Oh, for fuck's sake, Byakuya, I work with the man; I'm not dating him."

"You don't? Because it sure like hell seems that way to me."

"What?" Ichigo snarls and Byakuya flinches. "I can't believe this!" He passes his fingers through his orange hair, making it even spikier than it already is. "Fuck you!"

"Excuse me?"

"I said fuck you! I'm sick and tired of your accusations every time I'm mentioning Kenji. Give me a fucking break! I speak about you most of the time when I'm with him and he's straight. He doesn't care about me that way. Why do I always have to justify myself to you when it comes to him? I'm sick and tired for you to treat me like I'm going to cheat on you. Stop being such a paranoid asshole."

There is this stunned silence that leaves the both of them breathless. Ichigo fidgets and Byakuya knows how much right now his lover wants to touch him or anything but Byakuya isn't in the mood. For months now they have tried to stay connected and have tried to find a breach, a sort of niche between their daily lives and what is expected from them especially since only their friends and families know about their orientation. And Byakuya thinks that so far it has worked but the ghost of Kenji makes them more and more detached from their relationship.

"Well, in this case this paranoid asshole is sleeping on the coach tonight." His words are spoken coldly and Ichigo puffs and he swallows all the bitter words that come to his mind. Fuck this, he knows that he's punishing the both of them. Byakuya needs Ichigo's warmth even if he is waking up to an empty bed sometimes. He needs to feel that lithe body and he needs to feel the strong arms that sometimes surround him like he is the lifeline. Byakuya knows it's wrong, but at the moment he doesn't care. And he doesn't care about the mess either.

Ichigo's chocolate eyes are glistening like a bitter child who is stubborn and for a moment Byakuya thinks that he's going to ask for forgiveness and everything will be all over between the two of them and they can go back to bed and have hot make up sex and make that fucking Kenji want to run for the hills.

But that never happens. Instead Ichigo turns around and fucking slams the door of the bedroom as if he wants all the paint on the wall to go down. Byakuya sighs and then finally settles down on the sofa. Where is this fight going to take them?

When Ichigo wakes up and sees the empty part of the bed next to him, it's like someone has punched him in the gut and left him breathless. He panics so much that in a moment, with his eyes full of unshed tears he rushes in the living room to make sure that Byakuya is still there. But his lover isn't there anymore and that makes him swallow the lump in his throat and curse himself. He crumbles on the floor right next to the mess that Byakuya has made last night. He doesn't care about anything else. Right now the entire world has narrowed to this small portion next to the coach where there's a pillow and a blanket.

He feels light weighted and dizzy and his breath comes in pants. His hands shake so bad that he knows there's nothing he can do. He feels like he might puke in a moment. Byakuya is _gone_.

Byakuya has left him. He can't breathe. He can't even begin to comprehend how the world will function now. He can't live without Byakuya. The older man surely must know it. It's just… not possible. He doesn't know how he had everything he ever wanted… and he screwed it up, so badly. He chocks on the tears that keep falling down as if they are trying to wash away the pain. It only makes the matter worse. He feels like an invisible band keeps him from breathing properly and constricts his chest.

When the phone rings he almost jumps right away and answers it before the first ring ends.

"Hello?"

"It's me." Ichigo dreads and loves at the same time to hear the voice. He feels like such a moron right now, like an asshole, like a child that still has so much to learn.

"Hey." Ichigo whimpers and he can tell that Byakuya feels that something is wrong.

"I didn't want you to worry," the older man says in a rushed voice as if he's not sure that he's doing the right thing, "but they have called me from university and they wanted me to replace a teacher. I was announced this morning though and I didn't want to wake you up."

"It's ok." Ichigo feels like the constriction isn't that bad anymore but he's still afraid that he will be told soon that he doesn't deserve anything. "I just-" _thought that you've left me all alone_.

"Are you coming home tonight?" Byakuya asks in a little warmer voice and Ichigo's stomach churns.

"Yes, around midnight."

"I'll be waiting for you then." Byakuya's voice is cold again and Ichigo tenses yet again. "We'll talk then."

"O-" But his lover hangs up before he even finishes that word and in the next moment, Ichigo pukes in a bowl that was sitting there from last night. His stomach aches but he doesn't care. He has been worse. Byakuya's words wash over him again and make his stomach convulse again. Why has he been so stupid? Why couldn't he remember that he has talked with Byakuya about the damn dinner and how come he had let Kenji do this to him?

Truth be told, it is his fault that makes him feel even worse. He knows that he has to get up, that he has to go to work soon and maybe clear the fucking mess because it's the least that he can do for the man that he loves. Ichigo finally picks himself up and starts cleaning the living room. He's incapable of doing anything else. He just thinks on how to grovel and plead and possibly beg Byakuya to forgive him and maybe, just maybe not leave him.

He doesn't register how he's doing the things he does but when he arrives at the hospital people can tell that something is wrong with him right away. They try to ask him if he's ok, but they all know that Kurosaki Ichigo won't fucking say anything. At best he will ignore them; at worst he will tell them to fuck off. So they leave him alone especially when he doesn't refuse any case that comes through their doors. They know better than that.

Ichigo spends an incredibly amount of time today with the children. When he sees them, he knows that they have their comfort in the ones that they love. And it helps him realize how petty his concerns are when they are reported to that.

He wonders how Byakuya is among his students. He knows that he is extremely popular among the girls and that in spite of his coldness fan clubs were made. He knows that people appreciate the professional way in which he tries to do his job and the respectful way in which he treats everybody. But mostly Ichigo knows that he is loved. That Byakuya has always loved him and that he has done many sacrifices to be with him. So why then he's so stubborn in screwing everything up?

When they started to be together, they have promised to respect each other. Ichigo knows now that he hasn't done it last night and he feels so bad about it. He sits in the room where the young residents sometimes go to sleep a little bit before they take upon another shift. He feels extremely tired and he closes his eyes. He sees the worried looks that people have thrown his way but he just doesn't have the strength to tell them what he has done wrong. And he knows he looks like shit. He hasn't been able to eat anything and he hasn't been able to breathe properly since he woke up this morning. He looks like a train wreck and feels like a train wreck and he just closes his eyes and tries to think of something to tell Byakuya, to excuse himself and maybe, just maybe make him forgive him. Then he will swear never to do this shit again.

He's almost half asleep, when something brushes his lips. For a split second he thinks that he's back in the apartment and that Byakuya has found him asleep again, but then, he remembers where he is and he opens his eyes suddenly just in time to see Kenji lean over again and trying to kiss him.

"Fucking hell!" He yells and he pushes the man so hard that the other guy stumbles and falls in the next bed. Ichigo scowls and looks as if Kenji has just told him that he has killed his mother. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"I just-"

"You just what?" Ichigo snarls. "Don't fucking ever touch me like that!"

"Don't pretend that you don't like it." Kenji snickers and Ichigo doesn't like the mean glint in his eyes. He reminds him too much of his hallow. "I have seen the way you look at Byakuya."

"That's because he is my lover, something that you will never _ever_ be." Ichigo hisses in disdain.

"Really?" Kenji gets up again and before Ichigo knows better, Kenji punches him in the jaw so fast that he almost sees stars. Seriously, it's almost ridiculous the way he got caught in the punch especially since he had had so much training. Kenji pins him down the bed and Ichigo struggles to break free although he is still dizzy and weak from the punch. That bastard has a mean fist.

"What the fuck. Kenji?"

"I am sick and tired to pretend that I am your friend when all I want is to taste your skin, to lose myself in your warmth and to feel you lips!" Kenji says breathless and kisses Ichigo on the neck, licking him, trying to mark him as Byakuya does and all that Ichigo can think is goddamn it, _no_. No man has the right to touch him like this other than Byakuya.

"You pretended?" Ichigo's weak voice makes Kenji smile in satisfaction even more.

"Well, let's just say that all those cancellations… weren't exactly cancellations. And I mean, come on, Ichigo, but you knew that. I mean how many time can a girlfriend dump me? I would have dump that bitch a long time ago if she ever existed." He inhales deeply and whimpers with need. "Jesus Christ, you smell better than I thought." He starts to go slower and slower and then he wants to kiss Ichigo but the young man has had enough.

He hits Kenji in the shaft so hard that he is sure the man won't have any heirs soon. Kenji fucking yells in pain and then before he knows it, he pushes the guy down the floor. Ichigo feels dirty. Like really dirty. Like all that was good and beautiful in him has been wiped out by this man's kisses and caresses and he feels like he wants to kill him. He punches him just as Kenji tries to get up and he crumbles all over again.

"You fucking asshole, I thought you were my friend. I have… I almost – If I lose Byakuya because of you, I will fucking end you!" And there's so much hatred in Ichigo's eyes, so much pain and hurt that Kenji believes him.

Ichigo gets out of the room and Minako, one of the nurses that gets along with him, sees him so disheveled that she doesn't even look at Kenji.

"Ichigo-san, what's wrong?"

"Minako-san, hey." Ichigo feels like he might puke on the floor and apparently Minako gets the idea because in the next moment, she takes him by the shoulders and makes him enter the man's rest room without caring that she's a woman. On their way she passes Miyaka-sama, the head nurse, who sees the situation.

"Don't let Kenji get close to Ichigo." She whispers to Miyaka and the head nurse slowly approves.

Yeah, she has seen the predatory way in which Kenji has always looked at Ichigo and she knows that there must have been a confrontation between the two of them. By the way Ichigo looks and by the way Kenji looks, it definitely hasn't been a pretty sight. But she doesn't like Kenji. In spite of the fact that he is a great doctor, he's too selfish and ready to sacrifice everything, even the patient's life just to have his own way. So she just slowly closes the door on Kenji and lets him mumble vindictive thoughts, while she's on her way to warn the head doctor of the residents that he doesn't want the hellish man on her program anymore.

On the other hand, Ichigo is puking his guts out while Minako holds him. God, he feels so dirty, almost as if he has been raped because he has never allowed another man to touch him as he had let Byakuya and he always wanted to be something unique. He knows that Byakuya loves this about him, so what will happen when he tells the fucking truth? He feels so down that even when he throws up only bile, he still feels bad. His lover had warned him and yet he didn't listen.

"You mustn't blame yourself, Ichigo-san. Kenji-san seemed determined to have you sooner or later. Your only fault was that you believed he was an honest friend."

"I might have lost Byakuya because of him. I will never forgive myself. Why didn't I listen to him? Why?"

"Come on, Ichigo-san. Kuchiki-sama won't ever leave you. We have all seen how much he loves you." Minako would like to tell him how much the nurses love them as a couple, how much they pray that someday they will have the same thing; how much they admire them even though they are still hiding it.

"Really?" Ichigo sobs and she hates to see him so broken.

"Yes, all the nurses think that you and Kuchiki-sama make a damn wonderful pair and I am sure that you won't ever have a problem with him. Just tell him the truth. I am sure that he will understand. Trust the love that unites you."

Ichigo doesn't say anything else and yet he steels himself next to Minako, seeking her warmth until his body, finally tired by the rough convulsions relaxes and he finally has a little strength to get up.

"I need to go home. I need to go home." He repeats and Minako feels bad for not having the right words to comfort him. She lets him wash his face and then when a little bit of colour has returned to his cheeks, she guides him out of the rest room. Outside, Miyaka is waiting for them. She has Ichigo's bag in her hands and she gives it to him.

"I talked to Sumeragi-sama and he's more than happy to let you go home. He has calculated your hours and apparently you've done more than enough this week. As such he has decided that it's better to take the weekend off as well. See you on Monday, Kurosaki-kun."

"Thank you, Miyaka-san." He attempts to smile and his lips twitch ever so slightly. The pain in his jaw is really breaking him and all he wants to do is go home and crawl next to Byakuya.

"You have nothing to thank me for, Kurosaki-san. I have also taken the liberty to call you a cab. You should head down now. Minako will help you."

"Thank you," he whispers again and he feels such a weakling for resting so much on Minako's shoulders but he can't gather any strength and as she finally settles him in the cab and tells the address to the driver, he sits there with his eyes wide open, as if he would close them even for just a second he might remember everything.

Miyaka watches him carefully, ready to come to help in case she is needed. Truth be told, in all her career she has never seen such a prodigy like Ichigo. It's not just the fact that he seems like he has been born to help people, but it's also his compassion and his genuine need to help the others, placing himself on the second or maybe on the third spot. She won't ever tell him how Sumeragi-sama threw a fit and threatened to expose Kenji for what he is and just make him get out of the system. She won't ever tell him how much she wanted to agree knowing full well that Kenji is never going to be the doctor like Ichigo will. And Ichigo only rarely will have a glimpse of just how much she respects him.

Byakuya is correcting some papers when he hears the door. For a moment there, he doesn't want to look at his lover but the temptation is too powerful and washes over him so he just raises his eyes.

For a moment there's nothing but silence. And pure white incomprehensible _horror_.

Because Ichigo looks like he was the victim of a hit and run accident. He still wears his uniform from the hospital but his white t-shirt is rumpled, like someone has tried to grab him against his will. His face is so white that his lips look almost blue. And there's definitely a strange smell around him like he has been throwing up. But what he sees and makes him want to kill someone is the blackening spot on Ichigo's face, like someone has dared to mark that man, to mare that perfect skin.

In seconds, Byakuya is there, engulfing Ichigo in his strong arms while the younger male grips his shoulders and starts sobbing all over again.

"I am here. I am here, Ichigo. I've got you. I am here." It's the only thing that he's capable of saying because Ichigo is such a mess he is fucking scared that something terrible has happened to the young man. There's also a different smell around him that Byakuya definitely notices and he wonders what it might mean.

"Can I just shower and then I will explain everything?" He mumbles into his shoulder and Ichigo's voice is so hoarse that Byakuya's bad feeling grows only stronger.

"Of course, my love, anything you want."

They rarely use endearments but Byakuya feels like this is the perfect time. He thinks that maybe Ichigo has lost again a patient and he knows how much it hurts him. Ichigo reluctantly disentangles from his arms and finally hits the shower while Byakuya prepares the bad.

Fifteen minutes later when Ichigo is still in the shower he knows that something is wrong. He knows that even when he's enjoying the hot water against his skin, Ichigo never takes more then ten minutes.

"Are you all right, Ichigo?"

When there's no sound, he suddenly enters the bathroom, preparing himself for the worst. And it is worse than he thought because the water is very hot and Ichigo has rinsed his body so much that it turned into an ugly shade of pink that makes Byakuya think of opened wounds. In a split second, he stops the water and makes Ichigo stop and looks at him. His lover though refuses to look him in the eyes so Byakuya just holds a towel and wraps it around Ichigo's waist then he guides him in the bedroom. Ichigo sits down and then with the most dejected face he starts to sob and say:

"You were right: Kenji was after me. He tried to kiss me. Oh, God, he _did_ kiss me. But I swear I didn't want it. I was half asleep and he caught me off guard. He fucking punched me and- I must have blacked out for a moment because when I came to my senses he was all over me. Please- Byakuya, please, don't leave me. I didn't want him to. I punched him really hard. Just please, _please_, don't leave. I will do anything you want. I will quit my job, I will look for another transfer. Maybe start all over again with another hospital. Just-"

Byakuya yanks him by the chin and looks in those warm chocolate eyes which look so shattered at the moment that he hates himself for putting that look in there.

"He touched you?" And his voice is so eerily calm that Ichigo realizes his intentions in a split second and then he grabs his hand. Byakuya knows that his grey eyes are horribly dark with murderous intention but truth be told, he really wants to kill Kenji. It's that simple to him.

"Yes." Ichigo mumbles and he's ashamed. Byakuya looks to him and sees everything and in that moment he knows that he has never loved someone like he loves Ichigo. Because he sees the other man and he sees his honesty and how terrified is of what Byakuya will say to him. But he just can't help himself. He suddenly leans and kisses him with so much power that he tastes blood and he prays that it's his but he just wants for that man to finally disappear between the two of them.

Ichigo whimpers with such need that Byakuya makes him lay on the bed and blankets him. He then gently kisses his lover making up for the previous demand of territory.

"You're so beautiful. And you're _mine_." Byakuya growls and Ichigo shudders in anticipation. "AndI will make that clear for everybody to see it."

"I am yours." Ichigo says with such conviction that Byakuya covers him even more, making their bodies flushed against each other and just melting in the heat between them. Ichigo pulls up a leg and wraps it along Byakuya's waist pushing him even more against him until the both groan from the pleasurable friction. Byakuya nips and kisses the now dark spot on the jaw and he swears to make Kenji's life a living hell. And the beautiful part will be the fact that Ichigo won't even know it. He will make his lover tell him everything and make that blond bastard pay. _Dearly_.

For now though he will reclaim the body that is currently writhing in pleasure under him. Tonight neither of them will sleep at all. He will have Ichigo marked by morning and make sure once and for all that Ichigo won't doubt his love. And when he tastes those lips again, he's sure that he has made the right choice. His hands roam around the body and tonight it feels like it will be like the first time all over again. And Byakuya doesn't care because he'll make sure to start over with Ichigo again and again and again.

_A/N: Thank you all again for reading this. And a big thanks to my reviewers; it's nice to have some feedback. As you might have realized by now, my story will jump back and forth in time. Oh, and rest assured: Kenji will have his punishment._


	7. Cohabitation: Repercussions

**Disclaimer: **I wished, but _Bleach_ doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Kubo Tite, so unknowingly he's guilty for this too. :D

_**7. Repercussions**_

Byakuya knows that what he is about to do might be a really stupid move especially since he lied to Ichigo and told him that he is at Urahara-san for an adjustment of the gigai, but it's high time he put a stop to this. For months now he has watched how Kenji crawled into Ichigo's life taking every aspect of it until there was nothing left to him. He saw how he poisoned the relationship between the two of them and it was somehow probably his fault for not making clear sooner the fact that he wasn't about to throw away his relationship with Ichigo. Yet he watched time and time again buying the same crap that Kenji used to serve to Ichigo in order to spend more time with him. But what he did last week, what he had _dared_ to do made him question his own sanity, because if it had been up to him, he would have fucking taken Senbonzakura and kicked this guy's ass to hell and back, until there was no trace left of him. Rukia had made him calm down but he wasn't sure that it had worked.

And now as he was sitting in the parking lot, leaning over Kenji's car, Byakuya wondered why the man had taken the things so far. He should have known better. The thing is Byakuya has still so many things to learn about this world and the commoners' traditions and customs that sometimes it's hard for him to believe that things can be like this. For a while he thought that his lover was faking his obliviousness, but he clearly still had so much to learn about Ichigo. Because his orange hair idiot has such huge self-esteem issues that he can't believe that other people might be attracted to him, well, other than Byakuya anyways.

But Byakuya sees how people gather up around Ichigo. It's because of his natural warmth, of his natural desire to help people and usually people feel this. They feel the way Ichigo tries to sooth their pains, even take them away and the way he is considerate to them to the point where he forgets about his own person. That is why people crave to be loved by him too. Who wouldn't want a lover who would give up the world for them, who would burn it to the ground to see them safe? Byakuya is aware that many people crave that and that they think they are being stealthy about it. Because in reality Byakuya sometimes wonders what he has done to deserve this man's love, what could possibly make Ichigo love him so much? And he sees the way people light up when they see Ichigo, he sees the way even Rukia has a special look on her face, a look that is only for Ichigo, a look that perhaps makes Renji sometimes question her love for him and definitely makes Byakuya wonder if she doesn't care more about Ichigo than Byakuya himself.

And what also strikes him as odd is the fact that Ichigo doesn't see all this. Most of the times he just struggles to be better for them, the damn perfectionist. He knows that Ichigo is damaged, that he feels guilty for his mother's death, that even after saving so many lives in the winter war and after he killed Aizen, he still feels like it is his responsibility to be there for anyone anytime. Ichigo's problems rise from the fact that in spite of the fact that people admire Ichigo and they want to be around him, they don't know how to show their appreciation and Ichigo is definitely not an easy guy to approach. Still Byakuya sees, sometimes feels Ichigo's inane need for affection and love, not just from his family but also from Rukia and the others. But mostly, from Byakuya himself. Something that doesn't bother Byakuya at all, because what he feels for Ichigo is something that would probably light the world for a thousand years. Ichigo is his air and his water and everything in between and he just doesn't know how to picture a world without him anymore.

So this time Byakuya knows that he has to take a stand and talk to Kenji who right now is finally approaching his car. He's deep into thought and he doesn't notice Byakuya at first. He's dressed in a sweatshirt and some faded jeans and Byakuya has to admit that he is an attractive man and that normally he wouldn't have been so obnoxious to the man. But right now all he can see is the man that has tried to take Ichigo away from him and a cold anger slips into his blood, making him feel cold all over again and a too much close resemblance to the captain of the sixth division that Ichigo hates so much. Kenji's blue eyes go a little wide when they finally spot Byakuya and his pace falters.

"I guess this is the part where you're telling me to keep away from your man." He finally mumbles and somehow Byakuya feels relieved that he hasn't been the one that made the introductory remark.

"Something like that." He growls back, still keeping his gray eyes on his enemy.

"Then you shouldn't have bothered." Kenji mumbles clearly irritated but still definitely intimidated by Kuchiki's demeanor. Byakuya's cold stare is a hellish one as Ichigo bluntly put it so many times before. "Your lover has made things clear with me last week, though I am a little bit surprised that he has told you what happened between us."

"Ichigo isn't the type of person that would lie. To anyone about anything and in spite of the fact that I expect little from you, I thought you would know this by now."

"It's not like he's a precious girl and you must take care of his honour from him." As soon as he hears the words, Byakuya flinches and Kenji feels like maybe he should take that back. It's a little too late for that as Byakuya quickly approaches him, entering into his space and he looks at him up and down. There's something so completely blank and cold in that stare that Kenji involuntarily shivers.

"Listen to me because I am going to say this just once so you'd better not forget this." The somehow rough voice makes Kenji want to step back, but cold horror keeps him there, feeling incapable to move. "If you ever and I really mean _ever_ so much as look wrongly at _my lover_, if so much as a raise of brow is set against him, I will find you and I will personally make sure that your remains will never be found. I have the proper friends and the proper means and I will make sure this happens. Got it?"

There's such a blunt harshness in those muttered words, there's such coldness in them and such little regard for his life, that Kenji knows for sure that he has stepped in the wrong territory and that Ichigo is definitely the lover of a very dangerous man. He swallows hard trying to make the lump of fear in his throat go away but he's not managing that really well. He feels his knees trembling and he feels humiliated and he hates the fact that he stutters the moment he finally finds his voice.

"I…Y-y-y-you can't j-j-j-just… threaten me l-l-l-like that."

"Oh, but I can and I am. As of right now." Before he knows exactly what he is doing, Byakuya grasps Kenji's throat in a vice-like grip and Kenji feels his last bit of hope fading away: this man is really dangerous. He barely breathes and he puts his hands on Byakuya's arm trying to stop him from chocking him.

"Stop…. Just …stop…."

"I really hate the very existence of you, Kenji, and only the thought that you betrayed the trust that Ichigo put on you makes me sick to the stomach." Byakuya snarls with so much hate in his eyes Kenji feels drowned in it. "I am not bothered so much by the advances that you made to him as I am bothered that you have betrayed his trust, his friendship when he has been nothing but kind to you. Ichigo is the most precious thing to me and I won't let a double-faced bastard like you hurt him again." Byakuya's eyes thin all of the sudden. "Don't get me wrong though: next time you touch him, I will end you without any remorse."

Byakuya finally takes his hand away just as Kenji stumbles to the ground, pure horror crossing his face. He is sure that his point has been crossed and he knows that starting this particular moment, Kenji won't ever lay his eyes on Ichigo again. He is about to leave when he remembers something:

"Oh, the threat stands if you so much as mention our encounter to anyone, especially to Ichigo. There's hell to pay, Kenji, and I will make sure to create your own personal hell."

Byakuya leaves him behind without another word but he knows that most likely Kenji has understood his point. As he goes back to his home, where Ichigo is waiting for him, Byakuya's hands tremble slightly. He hates the fact that Ichigo has been in danger and he wasn't there to protect him. He means the world to him and yet sometimes he feels like he isn't enough. And Ichigo always has doubts as to whether Byakuya will stay forever with him o not, when he knows himself really well that there won't be any other person like Ichigo for him.

The apartment is quiet and the silence is soothing for Byakuya. He enters the bedroom and sees Ichigo fast asleep, breathing slowly but as if still waiting to feel Byakuya's body next to him. His chest tightens. He loves him just so much that it is almost unbearable. He quickly changes into some sweat pants and a t-shirt and he crawls in the bed next to Ichigo. He succumbs to his lover's body heat and spoons him, putting a hand over him until he can reach his heart. Ichigo stirs and covers that hand with his own.

He turns slowly just in time to look at Byakuya as the older man smiles finally at his young orange love.

"Hi." Ichigo whispers tenderly and Byakuya simply can't make himself to stop because he smiles back.

"Hi." And then he closes the distance between the two of them and he kisses Ichigo. The angle is weird and the kiss is definitely harsh, but it makes both men groan in pleasure and stick their bodies closer than they already were. Byakuya can't get enough of Ichigo's taste and he wants to go so deep within him and mark him so profoundly until he won't know where he begins and Ichigo ends. And if the kiss is a little harsher just to make that statement true, Ichigo doesn't seem to mind as he turns to him completely and deepens the kiss. It's like he's digging a little hole inside his soul. That hole won't ever be able to be filled except by him and Byakuya knows that.

When they finally come out for breath, Byakuya smiles at him again and Ichigo smiles back. Byakuya caresses him, his thumb drawing small circles on Ichigo's cheek. The chocolate eyes look back at him with such warmth that Byakuya feels almost chocked by it and Ichigo senses this almost immediately. Ichigo smirks all knowing and says mockingly:

"Yeah, yeah, you love me, I mean the world to you, blah, blah."

Byakuya covers him almost instantly his body flushed with Ichigo's. And the warm chocolate eyes look at him with love and passion and his hands rest on his waist and Byakuya feels like this is the right place where he belongs.

"I really do love you and you really do mean the world to me." And leans back and kisses him breathlessly and proceeds in showing all that to him. Maybe even more. Soon though he will have to make a decisive move and he knows it.


	8. Cohabitation: The Proposal

**Disclaimer:** _Bleach_ belongs to Kubo Tite. I own nothing except some imagination in which these two guys are actually together. -_^

_**8. Cohabitation – The Proposal**_

Ichigo laughs when he enters in the apartment and Byakuya raises an eyebrow in question when he sees the man that he loves soaked in the rain that has been pouring outside for a while. Typically for Ichigo, he has forgotten his umbrella. _Again_. His black t-shirt is like a second skin embracing Ichigo in all the right places. His cargo pants are curving on his ass and legs making him look like a sex god. Byakuya has no doubt that his lover is all that and even more. His orange soft locks aren't spiky anymore and Byakuya feels the need to touch immediately. He gets up from the coach and from two steps he is into Ichigo's breathing space and the young man gets a little startled. Byakuya cups Ichigo's cheeks and makes him look at each other in small wonder. This small wonder is happening over seven years now and Byakuya knows that this is it. Ichigo is the _it_. He won't be looking at someone else.

He wants to get up every morning with this man by his side, scowling a little at the morning as if morning is the ultimate shameless offence to his pride. He likes to see him burrow himself between the soft sheets and blankets, and ask for five more minutes. Now his father doesn't need him alert anymore and Isshin-san isn't there to attack his son for strategic purposes. So when he gets the time, Ichigo likes to sleep in. If Byakuya is by his side, he burrows his face in his shoulder and inhales deeply before he proceeds in sleeping even more. Byakuya loves those mornings when Ichigo just sleeps in, relaxed and comfortable. Byakuya also loves to see the chocolate warm eyes lit with love and devotion and he likes them full of anger when they argue only to have hot make up sex that lets Byakuya dazed for days.

"What is it?" Ichigo whispers and Byakuya looks at the path that a small drop of water carves in the soft skin. It stops right above the upper lip and that's it. He leans slowly and worships that upper lip like God has done a personal favour to him when he created Ichigo Kurosaki. His tongue traces that drop of water and takes in the taste of rain and what is purely Ichigo. With his tongue he tastes the other lip as well and then finally delves into Ichigo's more than welcoming mouth. There so much devotion in that kiss, as if Ichigo offers himself all over again that Byakuya suddenly thinks of those matching wedding rings that he has bought for the two of them a couple of weeks ago. When they finally stop so they can breathe, Ichigo smiles warmly at him, the smile that is just for him and Byakuya knows that.

"I should be late more often." Ichigo says cheekily and Byakuya rolls his eyes, still not letting go. Ichigo's hands rest naturally on his waist and he loves this peace between the two of them.

"You are soaked and dead tired." Byakuya replies. "I'm sure you just want to tease, as always."

"You know you like it like that." Ichigo kisses the pulse point of Byakuya and the older man feels again that demand of _moremoremore_. Ichigo's forehead rests on his shoulder. "But you're right: I'm dead tired. There was a huge accident and we had to receive many victims. I can't wait to be done with this and begin pediatrics."

"I know, Ichigo. You hungry?" His fingers draw small patterns on his lover's back because this is so like Byakuya: he can't stop touching Ichigo. It's like he has to reassure himself that the young man is still there, with him. And Ichigo opens even more to those touches because well, Ichigo loves to be caressed and snuggled with.

"No, I don't have the power to eat anyways. How about I take a hot shower and then we get to sleep?"

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Byakuya smiles back at the young man as Ichigo goes strait to bathroom with a small mocking sway of hips.

"But I'm not putting out tonight." He says teasingly, but Byakuya has seen the bags under his eyes so he doesn't even dare to think of that.

"Of course, since you like to tease so much."

He doesn't hear the muffled reply but knowing Ichigo, it must be something outrageous so he doesn't want to know in the end. He locks the door and then proceeds in turning off the light and preparing the bed for the two of them. They are lucky. They both have a week off and then Byakuya will have a string of important seminars while Ichigo will finally start studying for pediatrics only. They start with this weekend off and then another week off for just the two of them. By the time Ichigo comes to bed, Byakuya is already thinking on how to make the commitment to Ichigo.

"I'm so tired," the young man groans when Byakuya's strong arms embrace him and he snuggles more and more that Byakuya doesn't know where he ends and where Ichigo begins. And he loves that. Ichigo smells of something fresh and minty and something entirely him and Byakuya inhales deeply.

"Are you sniffing me?" Ichigo mumbles, amusement clearly etched in his voice.

"Of course, every once in a while I want to make sure that my territory is still marked."

"Oh, so now I am your territory. Interesting. When have these megalomaniac tendencies have appeared? We must find a cure and quick before you start stabbing an unknown stranger for looking at me."

"Who says I would stab them from the very beginning?" Byakuya is amused to see Ichigo playing like a small child and loving his possessive air at the same time. "I would torture them so they would learn better and then proceed into using Senbonzakura on them."

"Of course, what was I thinking?" Ichigo smiles in Byakuya's collar bone. "I have forgotten what an asshole you are when you're using Senbonzakura."

"Well, people should know you're mine." Byakuya shrugs. "And they should keep away. I don't like to share." Ichigo raises his eyes to Byakuya and smiles gently.

"Are you going to put a label on me of the type: "_Property of Kuchiki Byakuya. Proceed with caution and don't you fucking touch_"?"

"See, now that's a wonderful idea." Ichigo laughs gently and then he lets his forehead rest again on Byakuya.

"God, I'm so happy that we have a week off. I'm so tired."

"Go to sleep, Ichigo. We'll find ways to proclaim you as my property tomorrow morning."

"Selfish bastard." The words have no heat and Ichigo kisses gently Byakuya's collarbone and then within minutes he's asleep.

For Byakuya sleep doesn't come easy because he hasn't joked. He really wants Ichigo forever, not just in this life. But also when he dies. The Kuchiki clan is more than happy to have Kurosaki Ichigo as the next heir. The kid's power and generous behaviour towards the other Kuchiki heir (Rukia), not to mention the fact that he is the Aizen's defeater have become strong arguments for Byakuya in defending his lover against the council. Not that someone had a real objection for it anyways. Ichigo has won over the entire Soul Society with his brash behaviour and incredible loyalty towards his friends. Soon though the young man's breathing lulls him into sleep with thoughts of marrying an orange haired young man.

Ichigo opens slowly the eyes in the sound of rain. It's still pouring outside and the room is dark lit. He gets this cozy feeling and he wants to snuggle against Byakuya's warm form but his lover isn't in bed and Ichigo sighs. He tries to go back to sleep but without Byakuya there, he doesn't think he can do it so he goes to the bathroom and he washes himself, but he doesn't change. He still wears a pair of pajama pants that have seen better days and a white t-shirt. When he gets back to bedroom, he feels inspired because Byakuya hasn't changed either and he wears some sweat pants and a black t-shirt that makes his black hair stand out even more. He smiles softly when he sees that he has brought breakfast in bed.

"I see you love me more and more every day." He says mischievously as he kisses Byakuya and tastes the same minty stuff like his. He gets back to bed next to Byakuya.

"You're mistaken. I just want to make sure that you have enough strength for what is to come." Byakuya's husky voice makes Ichigo shudder and the young man has to swallow to make sure he can actually say:

"Bring it, old man." He grins wolfishly and Byakuya has to laugh at that. Byakuya laughs very rarely but when he does it, it's like the world has become a better place and Ichigo gets to see a glimpse of heaven. He also loves the fact that he is the only one that knows how Byakuya's laugh sounds. The first time he has mentioned it to Renji, the red haired captain didn't believe him. He doesn't care. He kisses Byakuya softly again and then proceeds to eat the breakfast so carefully prepared.

"I will show you later on what it means to challenge me, Kurosaki Ichigo." Byakuya says after a while and Ichigo has to grin again.

When they finish breakfast they snuggle under the covers again, facing each other.

"Do you think we should go somewhere during this week?" Ichigo asks after a while.

"Would you like to go somewhere?"

"Maybe the seaside, in one of those small villages that no ones knows about. Imagine just the two of us and the sea and the sand." There's a wistful tone in his voice and he knows it but he can't help himself.

"What is it, Ichigo?" Byakuya asks him gently.

"It's just we haven't been alone in a long time." He gets a frustrated sigh to leave his lips. "It's our jobs, our friends, and we rarely have been somewhere else. I know that some tough weeks are about to come and I just want to be with you these free days. Just you and no one else."

"Then it's perfect because I have already spoken with Urahara-san and he and Yoruichi-san have recommended us this spa. It's just not to the seaside but to the mountains. But it's very isolated and its owners are very decent people with respect for the privacy of others. But if you don't-"

Ichigo interrupts Byakuya by kissing the life out of him. For crying out loud, he doesn't care where they go, as long as they are together and alone, as long as he can map again this body that makes him feel so cherished and protected.

"It's perfect." He murmurs when they come back for air.

"I'm glad." Byakuya sighs and then says in a gentle voice. "I have been also thinking on how to make people know that you're my property and no one should come to touch you."

"How? Are you going to piss on my leg?" Byakuya looks quizzically at him and Ichigo laughs. "Never mind, it was a stupid joke."

"You know what's strange in all this affair? You don't argue against the fact that you're my property, just against the methods I might be using." Byakuya seems amused and Ichigo smiles to him.

"Well, I have been yours for a while now and I don't know anymore how it is without being with you or yours." He smiles to the older man when he sees his grey eyes darken in desire and want.

"So you wouldn't mind wear a thing that says clearly:_ Stay_ _away, he's taken_?"

"What do you have in mind?" Ichigo asks curiosity taking the best of him and he knows that he might be risking something big here because the last time Byakuya felt jealous, he had sported a humongous hickey for days and although he loved the envy of the others, the patients weren't so understanding.

But when Byakuya pulls out the wedding rings and puts it on Ichigo's finger and then he wears one just like that, Ichigo is left speechless. He hears the soft drops of water, he hears their own breaths, and he listens:

"I don't want anyone else, Ichigo. It's you and me for eternity. Death won't separate us and I won't ever let you forget just how much I love you. So how about you become my husband, and make sure people know you're mine and mine alone?"

"_Yours_." Ichigo says with a fierceness that scares him because he never thought he could have this. He feels strangled by devotion and love and want so he lets himself be kissed by the older man so thoroughly as if Byakuya is mapping his lips again. The wedding rings shine in the dark lit room and Ichigo's last reasonable thoughts are of how they are going to mark each other in the following days when they are going to be just them.

_A/N: Thank you so much to my reviewers because having feedback on this story means a lot to me. I have been very reluctant to publish any story and if it wasn't for my friend, I don't think I would have done it. So your words encourage me a lot. And a big thank you to all of you who read this story. _


	9. Cohabitation: The Impossibility

**Disclaimer: **Since this is the harsh and cruel reality, _Bleach_ doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Kubo Tite. I'm just a small time fanfiction writer borrowing his characters. I hope he doesn't mind.

_**9. Cohabitation – The Impossibility of Leaving You Behind**_

After the law has been approved and the gay married couples were finally legally recognized, Byakuya couldn't stop flaunting his relationship with Ichigo. He was behaving as a man that has spent too much time in the shadows. He was proud to share the fact that Ichigo was his man, his soul mate. He was happy that he didn't have to hide it anymore, although they haven't exactly been discreet with their relationship. He likes to flaunt it even now, years later, because he makes people understand that Ichigo is his for life. Actually he hasn't stopped since then. Which Ichigo secretly enjoys. A lot. And Byakuya knows it. He has many times enjoyed the reward.

But what can he say? He is a sap at heart, because waking up like this, just so simply with Ichigo right next to him, well, maybe on top of him mostly, is more than enough. He really likes to wake up next to his husband like that. _His husband_. He savors the word as if he tastes Ichigo's flavour and he feels more than blessed all over again. The sun spills in the room from outside because Ichigo was too lazy to pull over the curtains last night. Ichigo is spread half on the bed, half on Byakuya but the older man doesn't have the heart to wake him up although his left side won't probably ever function again. He can feel that the white tee shirt is riled up and exposes the small back of his beloved husband. His long fingers find quickly that exposed skin and gently caresses it. Ichigo's face scrunches up a little bit like maybe he is confused of what is happening, but then sighs a little contently and settles even more against Byakuya.

One long leg is pulled over Byakuya's legs, but he can't be made to care. He loves to feel Ichigo's sweet breath on his neck, his chest rising slowly as he breaths. It's more than he has ever hoped for. It's more than he would have imagined. Ichigo's orange hair shines a little in the glow of the sun and Byakuya does all what he can to stop himself from moving his fingers for that hair. He knows he has a kink when it comes to his husband's hair but he can't bring himself to care. He loves Ichigo. He just simply does and that's more than enough for him.

"Are you looking at me again?" Ichigo's voice hoarse with sleep startles him a little bit, but he keeps his fingers in caressing him. "You're becoming creepy."

"Your morning breath is creepy." Byakuya retorts in his condescending tone and his husband opens just an eye to look at him.

"Don't you think it's a little too early for this?"

"Well, you started it. You could have just let me enjoy the view while you could sit there and look pretty."

"I thought that you might get tired of this."

"Of you? Of this? Waking up to this is like waking up in heaven." There's something profound in Byakuya's voice that makes both of them tremble. They look in each other's eyes for a while and there's nothing but comfortable silence between the two of them before Ichigo finally smiles.

"Sap."

"You're turning rather rude this morning." Byakuya says but there's no bite to his words.

"Well, I have always been a rude brat." Ichigo smiles a little more and in stead of trying to figure out the mess of limbs that he has created, he just scoots even closer to Byakuya's body invading the older man's space with his heat and love. "Maybe you should teach me some lessons in good manners." This time there's a smirk on his lips that Byakuya punishes almost immediately by crashing their lips together, morning breath be damned.

"Maybe I should." He mutters as soon as he lets his husband breathe. Of course both teacher and student enjoy the lesson and they get out of bed much later than they had imagined at first.

Of course their mornings aren't usually this quiet but Byakuya enjoys them, enjoys spending quiet time with Ichigo and most of the times he enjoys pushing back the problems that they might have. He's preparing breakfast as his husband takes a shower. It has become a routine between the two of them. But this morning Byakuya feels a little tensed. He has promised himself that this weekend since it's their weekend off, he might have to push for moving away.

"Captain." The quiet voice startles him and he looks at Renji. His lieutenant has his unusual frown, which means that he brings bad news.

"Abarai, apparently you have forgotten your manners while I was away. I think maybe you should be reminded of that."

"Sorry, captain, but it was urgent." Abarai's voice makes him cringe and he knows that he won't like what he's going to hear next.

"Is it with the division?" It's a small hope.

"No, captain, the division is all right. It's the Kuchikis, sir. They want you to come home. Apparently there's a new feud with the Akatsuki family."

"Akatsuki family? I thought they settled after the king ordered them so."

"I don't know anything, sir, about that, but unfortunately there have been some confrontations between their men and yours and they need solving. The council has demanded your presence in Soul Society."

"I can't leave." He protests almost immediately in his coldest tone and Renji flinches because there are some things in this world that don't ever change and his respect for his captain is one of them. The other one is the remembrance of how sharp his blade is.

"I don't think it's question of whether you like it or not, sir." Renji swallows hard. "It's just that they don't think that Rukia should lead them when you are perfectly capable of doing so."

"What is wrong with my sister?"

"To be perfectly honest, sir? The simple fact that she's not you." Renji's eyes glint dangerously. "I am afraid that they are more than happy for the fact that you have secured Ichigo's position within the family but they felt that after a while you would get back to Soul Society. I am afraid that there are some members of the clan that fear that you might not want to lead them in case Ichigo dies and doesn't remember anything from his previous life."

"That is nonsense." Byakuya puts the damn cups on the table and they almost shatter.

"There's no need for you to yell so early in the morning." Ichigo's voice sounds tired and both men flinch when they see him in the doorway. Ichigo's orange hair glows slowly in the light of the room. He wears a white t-shirt and some black sweat pants and he looks completely worn out. But mostly his eyes give away a sudden sadness that wasn't there before."

"I wasn't yelling." Byakuya mumbles while his hand grips harder the mug in his hand. Now it will be all the more difficult to ignore everything. After all people always presume that Byakuya is the most honorable out of the two of them but it is Ichigo who sometimes drives the notion to the extreme.

"Ok, you weren't yelling. You were raising your voice." Ichigo smirks and finally enters the room to sit at the table and sip his coffee. "Yo, Renji. What's up?"

"Nothing much. You?" The acting-captain of the 6th division says and tries to sound nonchalant but it doesn't work out very well. Byakuya feels lost for a moment. It happens so rarely to people like him that he has to sit down as well. Almost immediately he feels Ichigo's knee pressing into his and he slowly lets that move comfort him.

"Same old. Tired after a too long shift at the hospital." Ichigo takes a sip of coffee and finally raises his sharp brown eyes to both of them. "So let's cut the bullshit. How long will you be gone?" He looks straight at Byakuya and the older man feels sucker punched because Ichigo's eyes never cease to amaze him with their rusty and brownish shades, warm and so fiery.

"I will go as soon as we finish breakfast." Byakuya mutters back because his husband knows him the best and he knows there's no point in lying. Ichigo's face scrunches a little bit and Byakuya just wants to kiss him but he knows that Renji is there and there's just too much in his soul at the moment. The feeling of leaving Ichigo behind makes him sick to his stomach. There's something definite in this act that unsettles him more than he will ever admit.

He has spent almost ten years in this human form already and his presence hasn't been once required in Soul Society. It unnerves him such move all of the sudden from his clan.

"How much do you think you'll stay there? We'll have to figure out something for the university." Ichigo's tone is calm and calculated and even his reiatsu is more than settled, yet neither of the two other men is impressed or fooled for that matter. Renji clears his voice:

"I will be back within an hour."

"Very well." Byakuya dismisses his lieutenant without a second glance because Ichigo's eyes are darker than usual and he doesn't know what to do or what to say.

"You know…." He starts, but his husband interrupts him.

"Don't." Ichigo raises a hand and stops him. "Don't apologize. We both knew this was coming. I just want one thing from you. Promise me that you won't stay long and as soon as you finish work there, you will come back to me."

"Like there's something in this world that can stop me from doing so." Byakuya's voice isn't affected as well, but he knows that he can't lie to Ichigo. His husband stands up and then kneels in front of him. He smiles a little shakily. "You know I will be waiting. Just like always."

"I know."

Byakuya doesn't say anything else and he plunges into Ichigo's mouth as if he is a drowning man and Ichigo is his salvation. But Byakuya is a man of honour and this honour has always made him take the stupidest and the best decisions in his life. Honour is a driving force in his life.

Since he was just a child he has been raised by his grandpa as the future heir of the Kuchiki's; his passionate nature has been suffocated time and time again as his grandfather taught him how to become a perfect leader capable of taking decisions without interfering feelings. And Byakuya has learned to keep them under key without any outside sign that he might go through something. Hisana had been the first to see through that impenetrable wall but she has never been able to completely break it. It wasn't a question of feelings, though those too counted; it was more a question of passion. For in the end Byakuya needed a person to have the same type of temperament just like his.

And Ichigo is all that and even more. Ichigo is everything he should have been, had he not been trained to be a perfect Kuchiki. Ichigo came along and taught him that feelings weren't useless, that passion was what drove people around and that sometimes in order to do the right thing, some rules should be completely broken. Honour sometimes meant breaking the rules and getting what you want. Those Akatsukis were going to pay for taking him away from the man that meant his life.

They don't say much afterwards. They let their breakfast get cold as they stay on their battered couch and drink each other's breathes, or just simply lay in each other's arms feeling each other's hearts. It would all feel positively wonderful, if it weren't for the impeding leaving.

When Byakuya returns to Soul Society, everything feels foreign to him although the time spent on earth is definitely moving much faster than in Soul Society. But he hasn't time to contemplate anything as he goes straight home and summons the council. He takes care of the business better and quicker than he thought and he wonders if the councilmen have tried to lure him back to Soul Society just to have him away from Ichigo and more into their grasp. But when he is let to leave without fuss, he doesn't think there's anything suspicious.

Until he is called again. And again. And _again_.

He doesn't stay for long, each visit consumes less time in his real life, but he can tell that his leaving puts a strain on his relationship with Ichigo. His husband doesn't say anything, actually encourages Byakuya to take care of his clan's problems, but Byakuya notices how his husband's eyes darken a little more each time they say goodbye in front of the Sekai gate, how his hands tremble a little more. And the calls keep coming. Sometimes they feel pointless, sometimes they are more entitled, but every single time his sister could have handled them.

So it's no wonder when one afternoon he has to leave again. Ichigo insists on coming with him. He leaves his gigai at home and although it would have been much easier to flash step, Byakuya lets Ichigo come with him, walking together in silence, as the rain falls down gently over them. As the gate appears, Ichigo looks like he might say something to him, like he might question his leaving, but then he doesn't say anything and Byakuya kisses him tenderly and goes to the gate.

Byakuya can feel Ichigo's anger as he moves closer to the Sekai gate and he thinks that this might break them. This thing right there…. It's something that eats at the core a relationship until there's nothing in between, until there's nothing left to say. Until only empty grey eyes could meet cold brown eyes and say _goodbye_ in their own way. It would be forever. He turns a little bit towards his husband and feels like his heart might stop. Ichigo looks like a drown kitten: his orange locks are plastered on his forehead and skull; he's dressed in that fluffy hoodie which is too big for him but he likes it because it makes him feel safe. Now it just looks like it might pull him down in a pit of despair. His faded jeans are like a second skin. But what makes Byakuya hurt the most is the fact that Ichigo looks at him like he has expected this. To be left behind time and time again. To be left alone. To be left by Byakuya.

That second counts for everything. In that second Byakuya remembers that Ichigo is the only person in this world that knows how grumpy he is when he has too much to work. Ichigo is the only one who knows that when his fingers start to twitch, he has had enough of a crowd and wants to go home. Ichigo is the only person that knows his secret pleasure is drawing just like his sister and although he seems a cold-hearted bastard, he has kept all of Rukia's drawings. Ichigo is the only person that knows of his love for Korean historical soap operas and doesn't laugh at him. Ichigo knows everything about him, but he can't still be convinced that Byakuya wants to stay here, next to his orange light, in this mundane existence where he isn't the heir of an important family; where he isn't the captain of a division. Where he is simply Byakuya Kuchiki, a gay university professor, married to the love of his life and afterlife, an orange bright light, which goes by the name of Kurosaki Ichigo.

He takes a step and then another. And then another and soon he is right in front of Ichigo, breathing the same air as he is, looking at him like he might disappear. The door closes and Byakuya feels nothing but relief. Ichigo's warm eyes are looking at him like he can't believe it, like Byakuya might disappear any second now and he sees how his husband's fingers twitch ready to keep Byakuya close to him.

Suddenly Byakuya flash steps and enters their small apartment where his body waits for him. He takes the gigai and then when his visible again, he gets out on the door like the devil is on his trail. He doesn't know how much it rains around him, he doesn't feel the cold rain penetrating his clothes, surrounding his heart, and drenching his soul. But all he knows, all that he feels is that in the small park, there's Ichigo waiting for him and he feels like if he doesn't want to spend another minute away from his husband. He wonders how could he stand it all these months, how he could keep away from that warm skin, from those beautiful eyes, from that perfect loving look on his face every time Byakuya says _I love you_.

Ichigo is still there, looking at the spot where Byakuya was just some minutes ago. How come he has never noticed how dejected his husband looks when he leaves? How come he has closed his eyes and didn't picture the utter pain that tenses Ichigo's features and keeps him looking like a monument of grief?

"I'm here", he whispers as soon as he is behind Ichigo and his husband turns around. There's utter disbelief electrifying the air between the two of them.

"You haven't left," he mutters and he feels like he might drown in that disbelief, in that utter despair as if Byakuya has disappointed him and yet… yet Ichigo has forgiven him.

"I couldn't," Byakuya replies in a strangled voice.

Ichigo looks at him one more time and then suddenly he embraces Byakuya so hard he thinks he might be breathless, but he doesn't care. Through the wet clothes he feels Ichigo's heart beating, so much closer. He holds fists of Byakuya's t-shirt and all of the sudden he croaks:

"Please, don't go. Please don't leave me again. Please, just _don't go_." And there is a wetness on his shoulder that has nothing to do with the rain. It feels scorching because he has made his husband feel like this. And yes, people might say that their love is a little too possessive, too codependent, too everything. Byakuya would tell them that it's just them. It's just _perfect_.

"I won't leave. I'm done. They can do everything without me." He mutters back. "I'm here, Ichigo. I'm right here."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He kisses his husband's temple and makes him look at him. There's such unleashed pain in those brown wonderful eyes that for a moment Byakuya forgets to breathe. And then he feels them. One by one like small diamonds his tears fall as wonder and the soft love finds its way in his husband's eyes. And their lips finally touch as their tears mix in the most wonderful and painful way and there's nothing more that spells love for them. Their tongues clash and taste everything in their pathway; their hands grip as each other as if, if they lose contact, they become dust one without the other.

Byakuya doesn't know how much time they spend there, how much time he kisses Ichigo and loses himself in his touch, but after what it feels like sweet forever, they finally part and Byakuya is reluctant to let go of his husband. So he takes Ichigo's hand in his and tugs him towards their home.

"Let's go home," he mumbles gently.

"What will you do with the council?" Ichigo asks because now that he has got over everything, his husband is concerned for him. A gentle smile covers Byakuya's lips. Seriously maybe Ichigo should start caring about himself a little more. He slowly kisses Ichigo's hand and whispers:

"I will take care of them."

They walk through the rain like they are alone in the world, like even the sky is blessing them. They go home and hold on to each other as if nobody can break them apart.

He won't mention that while Ichigo is having a longer shift at the hospital, Byakuya will leave to take care of things in Soul Society. He won't mention how he reminds his council that after all his grandfather has chosen him rightfully; he won't mention how they scatter in fear when they realize that Kuchiki Byakuya is someone to be afraid of and then maybe later respect. He won't mention how he threatens them to disband them if they can't take care of small problems in his absence. And he won't mention how he reminds them that Ichigo Kurosaki is after all his husband and his power may be greater than Byakuya's, that they might reconsider making an enemy out of them. Ichigo would never do such a thing, but they don't have to know that. He won't mention how they cower in fear and respect his decisions. It will be the last time he will see them in a very long time.

He won't mention anything to Ichigo when he returns home and takes Ichigo by the chin and captures his lips while Ichigo's arms enwrap him lovingly. He won't mention anything of that. He will just say:

"I love you, Ichigo."

And among loving whispers and gentle caresses he will make love to his husband and he will hold to his promise never to leave him again.

**OoOo**

_A/N: As always I thank my reviewers for their feedback. It means a lo to met. And a big thank you to all of you out there reading this story. Also I know that this bit was a little bit angsty, but more of their situation in Soul Society will be explained in the next chapter, which is written for someone special._ -_^


	10. Cohabitation:  All Those Imperfect

**Disclaimer: **Not even in my wildest dreams, could _Bleach_ belong to me. It belongs to Kubo Tite. And of course the beginning of this chapter is a variation of the famous introductory fragment of _Pride and Prejudice_ by Jane Austen, which naturally doesn't belong to me.

_A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful __**guiltone**__. You have waited this chapter for so long, sweetie, I just hope you like it and it doesn't disappoint you. _

_**18. Cohabitation – All Those Imperfect Things **_

_**Byakuya**_

It's a universally acknowledged truth that Kurosaki Ichigo in possession of his mental faculties will always forget anniversaries, especially his birthday. It's just his mark trade. If people remind him about what happens during that particular day, then it's definitely a good thing as he tries to make up by buying the best gifts. Don't underestimate the power of guilt over one Kurosaki Ichigo. Sometimes even his best friends and family ask themselves how is it possible that a person that forgets about birthdays and anniversaries, still manages to buy the best gifts? It's a miracle, says Rukia, rolling her eyes. It's a goddamn injustice, yells Renji. It's just Ichigo's nature, observes quietly Byakuya, but everyone accuses him of subjectivity and stomps on his explanations. Well, not to his face but anyways, you get the picture.

It still amazes Byakuya that people are kind of astonished by Ichigo's incredible caring nature, because usually this implies also a total lack of any self-concern. And perhaps this is why Byakuya decided that this year everything is going to be different, he wants to do something special for his lover and his birthday seems like the perfect opportunity, although he's counting on his lover's obliviousness, which of course doesn't disappoint him, into organizing the entire event. He's trying to make Ichigo's birthday an event but at the end of it all, he knows that there's just one thing that he can offer him. He smirks.

**OoOo**

_The council room is incredibly stuffy when he steps inside with the full pride of the Kuchiki name and legacy. Not to mention the Kuchiki spiritual energy. It bristles among the members of the family council and looks around to see if someone misses. Of course not. They have gathered here today to decide his fate. No, correction. His and Ichigo's fate. It's still new to him, it's still new to him to think in unit of two and imagine that they might have the same future and destiny together. But after all, he must admit that he can't picture his life without the orange beacon._

_He swallows and almost glides to his place in the front of the other councilmen. He knows them very well. Along the years, they have kept him under the spotlight even after his grandfather's death. They have always made him feel uncomfortable and probably they were one of the reasons for which his impetuous nature has been muffled until nothing was left of it. They tend to swallow him up and never let him go. He inhales deeply and thinks that this is it; these people decide today his future and he doesn't even dare to think what it might mean if they disagree with his proposition today; of course, in that case, he would decide to go and be done with it. _

_Seventeen men… Seventeen men whom he doesn't know very well look at him expectantly. These men had been there when he asked for permission to marry Hisana. They were the ones that made him promise that after Rukia, he would do anything to uphold the law of the family and the Kuchiki inheritance. It somehow backfired them when Byakuya froze completely but on the other hand they finally had one of the most fearless and incapable of any emotion leaders from Soul Society. And these people today were going to decide yet again if he was going to live his life with Ichigo until his lover would die and then together they would return here. _

_He doesn't realize how majestic he looks to all of them, because Ichigo's sensual lips keep twitching in an all-knowing smirk in his head, and his warm cinnamon eyes keep sparkling in his thoughts, because it seems that Ichigo's presence is unshakable now, completely ingrained within his being. He will do it. No matter what, he has to do this, because it's not or never and eternity without Kurosaki Ichigo sounds like the worst kind of hell. _

"_Gentlemen, I have summoned you today to discuss an important matter that will affect somehow the Kuchiki family but which I believe in the long term it will establish our family not only as one of the most honourable noble families, but perhaps one of the most powerful ones too. Perhaps the most powerful. Along the years since I have been bestowed with the honour of being the head of the Kuchiki clan, I have always had only the interest of the family at heart and with this in mind I ask the permission of the council today to move in the real world with Substitute Shinigami, known as the defeater of Aizen the traitor, Kurosaki Ichigo."_

_And he almost hears his lover's clear and bright laughter as the jaws of the councilmen fall in bewilderment. And if his noble upbringing wouldn't be so ingrained in his personality, he would smirk all-knowingly as well. He was expecting this. Now he has to brace himself. His grey eyes flicker to the first councilman that dares to take the ground after waking up from his bewildered daze. _

**OoOo**

"But it's a beautiful summer day," Ichigo scowls. "I really don't understand why you have to go to work."

"They need me for a couple of hours." Seriously if Byakuya hadn't been so self-contained, he would probably roll his eyes. But it is unbecoming of a Kuchiki so he gives up. "It won't be long, so in the mean time maybe you should do some cleaning and some shopping."

"Why do I have to do that?" This time the scowl combines with a pout. It really is a charming combination and Byakuya wants to kiss both away. "It's your turn anyways to do all that."

"Because you are a caring boyfriend and you love me." Byakuya's lips twitch. It's not a smile, he still can't get used to that natural movement of lips, but it can certainly help.

"Apparently I love you too much because you certainly started to take advantage of it."

"I promise I shall reward you tonight." And just to make good on his promise, he kisses his lover who of course opens almost needy for him. Byakuya always gets fascinated with Ichigo's taste and for some blessed moments he completely forgets his impossible mission for today. When they finally come back for air, Ichigo almost whimpers at the loss, which makes Byakuya adopt a rather proud smirk.

"You better keep your promise, or I _promise_ you will regret leaving me alone today, when we could have so much fun."

"I think you should learn, you brat." Byakuya adopts a stern tone. "Your big exam will come in a few weeks."

"Yeah, yeah, see if I will ever tell you anything."

"Admit defeat and do as I tell you. Just once in your life." Byakuya kisses him briefly and then his out on the door, leaving Ichigo still recovering from the shock of being left alone on one of his few free days. Two streets away from their neighbourhood, Byakuya meets with his sister and together they go to see Ichigo's present.

"He still doesn't remember it, does he?" She asks clearly amused.

"Yes, I am afraid something stunned him when he was little, because it seems impossible for the man to remember even his birthday." Byakuya looks gentler at his sister. "Everything is prepared?"

"Yes, I can't believe we're doing this, nii-sama. It's a really big step."

"I know, but I want what's best for him and I think it's time to offer it to him." Byakuya's hands tremble a little bit as they are walking on a quieter street. "Do you think he is going to like it?"

"I think he will love it and at the same time most likely will try to kill you for it." Rukia sighs exasperated. "I've never met a person like him." Her voice is always soft when she speaks about Ichigo. "He never cares for himself. He never gets the attention that he deserves. What you're doing for him, nii-sama, I think, is great. I never thought I'd live to see this day."

**OoOo**

"_I don't understand what you are trying to say, Kuchiki-dono." The first councilman, Shigure-san speaks. "It's unheard of to be moving back to the real world and start a family there, when your responsibilities lie here."_

"_Now, now, Shigure-san," Fuma-san intervenes when Byakuya's spiritual energy spikes up, making them all feel uncomfortable, "I do not believe that Kuchiki-dono is trying to avoid his responsibilities; on the contrary, I think he's trying to bare their burden even more."_

"_Thank you, Fuma-san, this is precisely what I am trying to say. For the past decades you have tried to convince me to remarry again." His voice is determined and echoes strangely in the hall. "I have insisted upon the fact that I do not wish to marry ever again, but you have made your intentions abundantly clear. Now I have found my match. And through this I also accomplish the council's will to remarry by bringing in the family an important ally."_

"_Which we would have, even if you don't marry him, Kuchiki-don," Arashi-san explains in a soft but decisive tone. "We are all familiar with the strong bond that exists between the Shinigami Substitute and your beloved sister."_

"_Then why hasn't been in Soul Society for this past year?" Byakuya's voice cuts like blades well sharpened. "Gentlemen, make no mistake: while I am determined to uphold the great name that I have inherited and through it, the responsibilities which were given to me, I do not want to be questioned on this matter. Kurosaki Ichigo is an important asset to this family and an incredible power, which can later be developed. Through his incredible spiritual power and the acquired strengths in the Winter War, he has become invaluable for Soul Society and not only."_

"_Kuchiki-dono, excuse me for interrupting you, but I miss an important part in all this conversation." One of the older councilmen stops him and it's mere respect that holds Byakuya back from lashing out. _

"_Which is it?"_

"_It's been fifty years since your wife has left this world and not once have you been interested in another person. Also back then, you offered us your word that you will always uphold the Kuchiki name and honour and so far you have done an incredible job. As you have mentioned before, we have always pestered you to marry someone so as this family can become stronger and stronger and you have denied every single effort. My question would be why now? And why this boy?"_

"_Do you object to the fact that he is of the same sex?" His frown deepens and yet he is soothed almost instantly by another councilman._

"_Of course not; we have argued on this before that the sex of your partner is of no importance to us. We are merely wondering about what makes this boy special."_

"_What makes him so special?" Byakuya repeats but this time there's no edge in his voice. A calm unlike before washes over him and he almost smiles when he continues: "It is clear that you have never met this young man. He will sweep you off your feet. He is brash and a bit of a brat at times; he cares too much about the others and too little about himself. He will think of this family first but he will step on your honour if it means that he protects what he cares about. He will question your values, your principles and most likely will turn them to nothing. He's incredibly powerful with no regard towards his life when it comes to protecting the people that he loves. He is of equal power to me and completes me in all the right places. He is the sun to my moon. Gentlemen, he is my other half and believe me when I say that with him by my side, I will be better of a leader than I ever was."_

_There is a complete silence in the room but Byakuya doesn't seem to register it. It sounded sappy even to his ears; however there is one more point to figure out:_

"_However if you feel the need to deny this honour that this man has bestowed upon me, let me assure you, gentlemen, that I do not need your blessing. I will reap it off from each and every one of you and I will leave into the living world whether you like it or not. But when I come back here, you will regret taking any actions against my will for my will benefits the family. My pride lays somewhere else this time, gentlemen." The subtle threat doesn't escape to anyone present in the room and his spiritual energy rises again, making sure that they get the message._

_It is strange to see the faces of his councilmen. Some of them are smiling in approval, others keep their thoughts hidden, while others look disapproving but to all of them Byakuya knows that Ichigo's incredible power is something that attracts them like a poisonous snake and that most likely they will fall as a pray to it._

"_May I ask how long do you plan to stay there, Kuchiki-dono?" Finally Shigure-san asks and this time there's a completely different tone. His blue eyes are almost smiling and that's something new to him._

"_For the entire length of Ichigo's natural life, as long as it may be."_

"_Who will carry on with your responsibilities, while you are away?" Another one asks._

"_I have entrusted my sister with the responsibilities of the Kuchiki clan. I believe her to be worthy of the honour."_

"_And your responsibilities as a captain of the 6__th__ division?"_

"_They have been entrusted to my lieutenant, Abarai Renji, my future brother-in-law. Yamamoto-sama has considered him worthy of this function and he has already accepted my leave in the human world for the time being."_

_The councilmen are a little stunned at the news but they seem to whisper among themselves the promises of a better future, a future that brightens with the prospect that the undeniable power that Kurosaki Ichigo represents to them will be within their grasp. Byakuya has no doubt that they will accept his demise because they are greedy and they need that power. With Ichigo by his side as his lawful husband, the Kuchiki clan will most likely rule over the other three royal families. In their eyes, their union is all about power, while in his eyes it's just holding his own happiness within his grasp. And when they turn their faces satisfied with the outcome of their discussion, Byakuya knows that he is granted his leaving._

_They don't disappoint._

**OoOo**

_**Ichigo**_

Ichigo feels strangely melancholic and he wonders what the reason might be. Today is a slow day and perhaps this is what makes it so tough on him. It's one of the few days when he doesn't have to work himself out, when he might just enjoy a wonderful time with Byakuya or his family. The problem is that in the last couple of years things haven't slowed down in his life. On the contrary, he had to work harder and harder to become a good doctor, to understand what it means to be one and, in truth, it still seems overwhelming at times when he finally becomes conscious that thousand of lives will be part of his destiny and that he will have to protect them as a medic. Byakuya tells him that it isn't so different from being a substitute shinigami when he fought against Aizen and his minions, when he fought for Karakura town and not only. He also tells him that now as opposed of being a shinigami, he will have to save lives. Byakuya understands so much more of this.

Maybe it's because he is finally graduating. He finally ends a significant period in his life. And for the last five years, he has been with Byakuya. Six years of medical school and now he will have to pass the National Medical License in order to become a doctor. In truth the last two years of medical school, since it allowed him to work in hospital, have been more than revealing for him. He knows what he wants to do now. He knows that he will have the support of his family and his lover, he just feels like an era in his life has ended. Just like it ended when he finally stopped being a shinigami and became regular Kurosaki Ichigo.

He slowly passes his fingers through his orange locks as he moves along the road. Why on earth has Byakuya sent him doing groceries when he knows he hates it is beyond him. It's a very hot day of summer and it feels like even his clothes clung to him. He sighs. He loves his boyfriend, but every once in a while the older man gets a little too bossy. Like today. He gave Ichigo a lot to do around their apartment while he went to university to discuss important issues. Yeah, right, who cares about that? They could have cooled off together, but no, his lover has to be a sucker for doing his duties so completely. Ichigo scowls. Maybe he can buy some ice-cream and go eat it in the park. Alone, like the sorry bastard he is. What the hell is wrong with him? Why does he feel so under the weather?

"Look, daddy, they have chocolate chip ice-cream. Can I have one? Please, can I?" The voice of a small boy no more than six makes him take notice of his surroundings. It's a nice little shop full of a variety of ice-cream. Outside, the boy holds his father's hand and tries to drag him into the shop. The man has a gentle smile on his face.

"Yusuke, if you eat ice-cream now, mama is going to be upset with us because you won't be able to eat your lunch. And then she will prohibit us to ever buy ice-cream again."

"Oh, come on, daddy. Just one small cup. And I promise I will eat all my veggies for lunch _and_ dinner." The father laughs gently and his smile seems to light up the world.

"All right. But remember your promise. And this will be our own little secret."

"Yeah, daddy. Promise. You're the best daddy in the world." The little man declares and drags his laughing father into the shop.

"The best daddy in the world…." Ichigo repeats and he goes into the shop, buys a small chocolate and strawberry ice-cream (because no one has to know, right?) and goes into the park to rest on a bench at the shade. The words of the little boy follow him.

**OoOo**

_Ichigo gets in the house and he sighs. He's very tired and his rough day isn't finished yet. He's in his senior year and due to his duties as a shinigami, he has lost a lot of schoolwork, which he now has to recuperate if he ever wants to get into medical school. He tugs his orange hair in frustration. No matter how hard he tries, it seems like all the schoolwork gets more and more and never diminishes and his feelings for Byakuya cloud every other moment when he doesn't think about school and he doesn't get some rest and this is rather too much._

"_Hey, onii-chan. Welcome home." Yuzu welcomes him with a smile. "Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes. Can you please go and wash your hands?"_

"_Oh, yeah, Yuzu." Ichigo wants to smile back but his lips barely twitch and his sister knows already how much he appreciates the gesture so he will just stick to that. "Where are the rest?"_

"_Dad said that he will have just one more patient and then he will finish. Karin is in her room. She'll be down soon."_

"_Ok, I will be right back."_

_He does the things mechanically. He goes and takes a shower quickly and changes into some sweat pants and a t-shirt and then goes back downstairs where his family is already seated at the table. It's strange the way they eat in silence. Usually his father is being his obnoxious self and Karin and Yuzu chat about the things that have happened at school. The problem is today nobody speaks. They are all subdued and Ichigo feels like the silence hits his already sensitive nerves. Once they finish dinner though, things change._

"_Son, I think you and I have to talk." Isshin's incredible serious voice startles not only Ichigo but his sisters as well._

"_Is there something wrong?" Karin asks suspiciously, as if she knows what his father wants to talk about and she can't seem to make up her mind, whether to let her father talk to Ichigo or not._

"_Nothing, it's just a discussion between father and son. Son, please come into my office."_

_Ichigo nods because he knows that there's nothing he can do at the moment. He can't tell his father that he's so tired everything hurts inside. He can't tell him that he wants to sleep for eternity. He can't tell him any of this because his father seems to want to speak with him for the first time since the whole mess with Aizen and that says something._

_As they sit face to face, it feels like his father has got a little bit older, a little bit more tired and there are lines etched with regret, lines that haven't been there before._

"_Son, look, I know that you and I haven't been on the best of terms since the whole mess was over. I thought time and time again how to explain to you why I hid my identity towards you and your sisters, how come I got to marry your mother and have the three of you. I know that there are still many things that need to be settled between us."_

"_Old man, as I mentioned before, I don't care about the reasons. I know that you had your own for hiding something like that from me. I must admit that it hurt at the time but I got over it and maybe one day when you are ready to tell me the truth, I will be there to listen." Ichigo sighs deeply. "I know how much you loved mum and what she meant to you, so it's all right, dad, it really is. Wait until you're ready."_

"_Son, I don't think that is all right." His father's sad voice makes Ichigo tense up._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Son, you know that I have always tried to do my best with you, especially after my dearest Masaki left me here, but one thing I always thought about us is that we are friends. That we will always be friends and that you can trust me no matter what."_

"_But I trust you, old man. What's the meaning of this?" Ichigo feels the need to defend himself almost immediately. He's so used to thinking about the others that when the attention falls on him, suddenly it seems to get worse. The pain. The great hole that's within his heart and never gets filled because there's no one to fill it._

"_Ichigo… son, every since the war with Aizen has ended, you haven't been yourself. Now you even stopped going to Soul Society and every time we even mention that place, you get tense and you look as if we killed your puppy. You overwork yourself and you barely spend time with your sisters. Ichigo, you're not fine."_

"_I am fine," he immediately stresses the words and feels like the room constricts around him, "I'm fine," repeats himself. "There's no need to worry."_

"_Son, you're not fine." Isshin's sad eyes, the same eyes that Ichigo has, look at him with worry, love, concern and Ichigo hates that look on his father's face. _

"_Yes, I am." He manages to keep his voice from trembling. He can do this. He has hidden so much time now it has become a second nature to him. He can do this. _

"_No, son, you're not." Isshin gets up from the desk and walks towards the window. "You haven't been fine for so long, you're breaking my heart." His father's voice chocks as he finally looks at him again. "I know that we have some issues, son, that I still have to make amends, but I always thought that you see me as a pillar in your life, that you understand that when the time comes, I can be here for you too. But you keep retreating more and more, you keep hiding yourself from me and your sisters not to mention your friends and you won't tell anyone what is going on." _

"_Dad," Ichigo finally stands up as well, tries to calm his trembling hands, "you're reading too much into this. It's just I have to cover up a lot of schoolwork and I don't know if I will make it and I will just need time, I guess."_

_His father doesn't believe a word from what he says and he slowly makes his way to him, closer until they are face to face. Isshin's face is incredibly soft, like Ichigo has never seen it before and something painful clutches in his chest. His father's strong hands rest on his shoulders._

"_Let go of your burden, son, I'm here for you. Let it go."_

"_I don't know what-" Ichigo's voice gets chocked with the pain in which he has been living for the past few months, since his last visit in Soul Society._

"_You don't have to carry it alone, son. It's all right. I can carry it for you too." _

"_You wouldn't understand." Ichigo's voice begins to crack because it gets too much, because there's a raw need in him to confess everything. He's so tired of hiding himself, of pretending._

"_When it comes to my children, I understand everything. So tell me, what has eaten your soul, my son? What's going on?"_

_There's a moment of complete stony silence when only their breaths are heard in the dim light of the room. And then a long exhale and…_

"_I'm in love, father." Ichigo confesses and his father's hands tighten on his shoulders._

"_With Rukia?" He asks in a small voice and Ichigo feels like this is all wrong, like he doesn't have to be like this. But he is so exhausted; he needs for someone to take this burden off his shoulders. Just for a while. _

"_With Rukia's brother. With Byakuya."_

_There. _

_It's in the open._

_He waits now for the disgust, for the hate, for all the harsh words that will follow. And everything will be added to the burden that he carries already. For he has carried many burdens since his 16__th__ birthday. _

_But they never come. Nothing comes, except for a tight hug as his father's arms crush him into a hug that takes his breath away and makes his shoulder slump. It is too much and not enough. Time stops and his feeble hands attach themselves to his father's back and then slowly, oh, so slowly he starts to cry. _

"_I'm sorry, daddy, so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did. And it hurts so much, but this is who I am and it got so hard. Oh, daddy, so hard." He is a child again and his father protects him again._

"_Ichigo, you are my son, my first born." His father whispers in his ear. "The day you were born was the happiest in my life and I have sworn back then to love and protect you for the rest of my life. I don't care if you are straight or gay, orange, blue or yellow. You are my son, blood from my blood, flesh from my flesh and nothing, absolutely nothing, can make me love you less. Every single day you make me proud; every single day I pray to your mother and God to keep you safe, to make your dreams come true, for nothing compares, my son, to your happiness." _

_Every word stabs in the wall that has surrounded Ichigo's heart for the last couple of months and as it crumbles, Ichigo cries harder and harder. He has been through so much, he has carried so many burdens, so heavy, that now, finally someone carries them for him, someone tells him it's enough, and everything is even better since it is his father. _

**OoOo**

Ichigo sighs. That night has been terrible. It feels strange that he remembers it precisely today. Perhaps it's his foul mood to blame. He eats his ice-cream in peace and wonders if his father is at home, if maybe he should go and have lunch with the old man. His words back then have been the most wonderful gift he has ever received as a son.

His cell-phone rings, just as he is getting up.

"Hello?"

"Ichigo, I think I am lost." The calm and yet somehow tantalizing voice of his lover makes him smile involuntarily.

"Not again, Byakuya." His voice is dripping with fond exasperation. "Where are you? Can you ask someone to tell you the address?"

"Yes, I think I see someone. Please, hold on." There are murmurs in the back and Ichigo rolls his eyes. After five years, his husband still manages to lose himself in Karakura. It's unbelievable. "Oh, yes, here's the address." He rattles an address, which is familiar to Ichigo because it is pretty close to where they live.

"Ok, stay put. I will be there in ten minutes."

"Very well, I shall wait."

Ichigo rolls his eyes again as the conversation ends like that. But at the same time he is a little bit amused. Nonetheless he hurries along and he manages to get there within the ten promised minutes. Byakuya waits for him in front of a small house with a lovely garden in front of it. Ichigo takes a look around. He always loved this neighbourhood. It has charming houses and it is very quiet.

"I can't believe you got lost again." He scowls, although of course it's without any malice. "This is close to where we live, like a couple of streets away."

"I am not lost." The regal voice of his lover startles him a little bit and Ichigo looks curiously at him.

"What do you mean you're not lost? This is not what you said on the phone."

"I am here to offer you your birthday present."

"Huh?" Yes, Ichigo isn't very eloquent today, so sue him. "What do you mean my birthday?" He finally manages to compose himself a little bit.

"Today it's your birthday, Ichigo, and this is my present for you." And with these words, his boyfriend indicates the house. It's a small house with one floor, painted in welcoming creamy colour.

"Excuse me?" He feels really stupid but this is all so out of the blue that he doesn't know how to react. "Are you telling me that you have bought me a house?"

"Yes, I want to have a place that we can call home." Byakuya looks at him as if Ichigo is responsible for all the wonderful things in this world. Like he has hung the moon and the sun and made the flowers bloom and other shit like that. And the thing is nobody ever looked at him like this. Nobody ever thought of him so precious. Until Byakuya. And suddenly there's a lump in his throat that wasn't there before. And his heart hangs heavy. He lets his groceries fall on the pavement and slowly he walks towards his husband and hides his face in his favourite spot, which is at the juncture between the neck and the shoulder and his hands grab fistful of his lover's shirt and he inhales deeply and doesn't want to let go. _Ever_.

"You bought me a house." He says after a while trying to make himself stop panting though the lump is still there and it hurts when he speaks but he can't believe this. It all feels too much of a dream.

"Yes." Byakuya takes his chin lovingly and he presses his lips over his. "I want to be here with you, Ichigo, for as long as you will have me. I want us to be here, to have a place to call _home_." And the thing is Ichigo understands him so well and when Byakuya's lips press a little harder, he opens so willingly his mouth as his soul mate takes everything with scorching passion. And they are kissing in broad daylight and he can't make himself to care because he has never felt so loved, so appreciated.

"Hmm, chocolate and strawberry," Byakuya mutters afterwards licking his lips with a wicked look on his face. "Lovely combination. And my favourite, if I may say so." Ichigo blushes but keeps looking at him.

"I love you. I love you so much." He whispers. "Thank you."

"I love you too. You want to see it now?"

"Yes, please."

It's not a big house. It has two bedrooms, a living room, two bathrooms and a kitchen. A third room has been transformed into an office for both of them and Ichigo can almost picture the days that he will spend here with his lover. The kitchen has a small porch that takes them into a small garden in the back while the living room is stuffed with food. Apparently they will have a party to celebrate his birthday in two hours time.

"Plenty of time." Ichigo mutters as he approaches his lover.

"For what?"

"For christianizing our new bedroom." Ichigo smiles deviously as he enwraps his husband in his loving embrace.

Soft grey orbs look at him with adoration and love and perhaps a little bit of possessiveness. And then an incredible smile settles on the sensual lips, that smile that lights the world and makes Ichigo dizzy with its secret charm.

"I think that is a wonderful idea." The husky voice replies and Ichigo feels his face peppered with butterfly kisses before those wonderful lips crush over his with burning passion. If this is what is going to happen each year, he will forget about his birthday each year. But as his lover leads him towards their new bedroom upstairs, his last coherent thoughts disappear in a fog of love and passion. And that is the greatest gift of all.

**OoOo**

_A/N: As always a big thanks to my reviewers. Your feedback definitely helps and encourages me a lot. And of course to all my readers, I thank you. _


	11. Cohabitation: The Lost Ring

**Disclaimer: **Nope, _Bleach_ does not belong to me; it belongs to Kubo Tite, whose characters I am borrowing for my own entertainment. Hopefully yours too. -_^

_**11. Cohabitation – The Lost Ring**_

_Two years after the proposal_

So Ichigo is a fucking mess, but he does not fucking care. He is so dead on so many levels that he does not care that he has ravished their house. Byakuya is going to kill him, and if by some miracle, his husband is not going to end Ichigo's life, then he will fucking kill himself because just how stupid can he be? Maybe he will ask his hollow to just torture him for an eternity because Ichigo feels like the biggest idiot in the world.

Yeah, he knows that they are not really married because hello there, this is Japan and same sex marriage is not legal yet, but to them exchanging their vows in front of their friends and families, with all the undiluted love and promise of eternal trust and commitment meant something to both of them. It meant they were married, it meant that that golden ring on his fucking finger showed that he was married to the most wonderful man in this world. And the other world for that matter.

Ichigo throws all the medicine magazines on the floor and looks desperately on the table. He fucking took off his wedding ring. How stupid can he be? No, really, _how fucking stupid can he be_? He knows how sensitive Byakuya is about the whole damn thing and he knows that his husband does not like to see Ichigo without it, even after ten years of trust between them. And Ichigo understands this, really he does, because there's this undeniable connection between the two of them now. Even more, he craves to show it to the other people around him.

His friends from the hospital smile each time they see him taking it out carefully before a surgery and putting it on a chain right next to his heart. He does not tell them that it makes him feel confident in his strength to take the best decisions for his patients. He does not tell them that paradoxically, he feels Byakuya's calming presence right next to him, as if positive words are almost whispered in his ear. It is his husband after all who saved him during those long university years, when he thought that maybe he was not made to be a doctor. Grey eyes full of power and energy have convinced him otherwise.

Ichigo goes to the bathroom again, to check it; maybe he left it there. He knows that usually he does not take it off, not even when he goes under the shower or takes a longer bath. Of course, it is not there and this realization makes a sudden sob crush his chest because he honestly does not know what to do with the loss. He feels like he has lost something monumentally important and it feels as he has cheated Byakuya, although he did not even think about it. It is like a bad omen. He is left breathless under the overwhelming pressure of the painful sobs.

He means, yeah, they hit a nasty patch a couple of years ago, when even Ichigo, the clueless idiot that he is, realized that Kenji wanted more than his friendship and the horrible blond guy almost ripped their relationship apart. However, since then, Byakuya has been nothing but trustful and now, through this, Ichigo just proves him how wrong he had been. _Again_. Byakuya will not forgive him for this, because his husband takes this sort of commitment seriously, and he has never taken his wedding ring off like fucking clueless Ichigo.

He smashes the door of the cupboard above the sink so hard that the mirror almost cracks and yet he does not care. He grips tightly the edge of the sink, his muscles tensing. There is a dreadful ache in his chest that makes him pant. And all of the sudden, there goes that voice again:

_Calm the fuck down, King. Bankai the shit out of this building won't stand for your stupidity._

"Shut the fuck up!" Ichigo snarls at his inner hollow, which still comes out occasionally.

_Awwww, aren't you a prissy little bitch? Well, get the fuck up! If you fucker calmed the hell down, maybe you could remember where you put the damn ring._

"You're seriously not helping." Ichigo growls and his eyes turn into a strange shade of orange that every once in while reminds him that his nature is still dual, that he does not know himself very well, that Byakuya has not cured or healed him completely. And right now, looking in the cracked mirror, Ichigo feels like an utter failure because he has disappointed Byakuya.

_You haven't fucking disappointed him. Fuck it, King!_ The hollow's voice becomes a little gentler. _The man loves you so much he could probably make all the people love his flower power thing. If he didn't have some common decency, hell, he would proclaim you God and make all the others bow to you and worship you. One small lost wedding ring, which by the way isn't lost just _misplaced_, well, like I said, this one little wedding ring won't make him love you any less._

"You think so?" Ichigo whimpers, he fucking _whimpers_.

_I know so. Oh, man_, his hollow complains; _now you made us both look and sound like some bunch of girls. And we aren't even hot like that Rangiku chick._

"I didn't know you were into that."

_Well, just because you like dick, doesn't mean I have to have the same tastes._

"Shut the hell up." Ichigo wants to punch the hollow but he would punch himself so he gives up the idea.

_He really loves you, King. Don't forget that; so man up, calm the fuck down and find the damn wedding ring, because I seriously don't want you to turn all bitchy on me when you sleep on the fucking couch tonight._

"Thanks." Ichigo grumbles again.

_Yeah, yeah._

His hollow returns to sleep and Ichigo feels a little better. But just a little. He goes back in the living room and sits on the couch, groaning in pain. He has a major headache and the ring is not anywhere to be seen. He thinks hard again. Where could he have put it?

He almost instantly remembers that night when Byakuya reverently made love to him all night, while having their fingers interlocked so they could look at each other's wedded fingers. It sounds corny now that he thinks about it, but he rather loves the idea that yeah, this is going to be forever and yeah, death is not going to set them apart.

All of the sudden, he hears the door of the house and his heartbeats increase dramatically. He bolts up from the couch and looks guilty as Byakuya takes the surroundings with his grey eyes, which finally settle on Ichigo. The younger man almost drinks Byakuya's appearance because his husband looks good, even after so many years together. He is wearing a black suit that hangs perfect in all the right places and his hair is let down, a little bit humid from the rain that is still pouring outside. It makes Ichigo feel so guilty for losing his wedding ring that he has tears in his eyes almost instantly.

"Ichigo, what's wrong?" His husband rushes towards him and ignores the mess that it is in their living room. Ichigo is kind of, well, actually surely, anal retentive; meaning he hates it when Byakuya leaves all sorts of papers from the university on their couch or on the table. Byakuya has more than in one occasion found his papers neatly stashed away again. Therefore, the mess in the room does not calm his nerves at all. It makes him feel even more anxious when he sees Ichigo's red eyes.

"I did something." The young man mutters, and Byakuya tenses. Ichigo feels it, and before he can stop himself, he blurts out: "I lost the wedding ring- actually not lost it, just _misplaced_ it - and now I can't find it and I have looked everywhere for it, but it's just gone, and I feel like such an asshole 'cause I knew I shouldn't have taken it off, but I have been so tired with the hospital and all that I can't remember where I have put it and this just makes me feel like the biggest asshole in the whole goddamn world. And please, please, if could give me another chance, I promise I will find it just please, _please_, don't-"

Another sob chokes him because he can't find the words to express how much he wants Byakuya's forgiveness. He avoids looking into his husband's eyes for fear he might see disappointment and anger and that dreadful disdain that he still so vividly remembers.

"Don't leave?" Byakuya's gravely voice sends shivers down his spine because it is that tone when he gets like _I'm-fucking-Kuchiki-Byakuya-and-you-shouldn't-be-messing-with-me_. "Ichigo, this is what you think I was going to do? _Leave_?"

Byakuya grabs his chin and makes him look into his eyes. Grey eyes make him swallow hard just like when he first met him and he felt cursed and blessed all at the same time.

"Answer me!"

"Yeah." Ichigo whispers because there is no use in lying to Byakuya, but the man's reaction is completely different from what he expected because the next moment the former shinigami is biting hard at his lips, so hard that Ichigo feels like tasting blood. Then the older man's lips get gentler and Byakuya fucking worships his lips because they are nipping and caressing and his fucking tongue tastes Ichigo, as he has not done in ages. Every corner of the mouth is explored until he is left panting but in the need of so much more.

Byakuya looks angrily at him. "Even after all these years, after all the sacrifices that I have made for you, do you still doubt of my love for you? Do you think that I would leave you, Ichigo, for a wedding ring? What is it compared to you? Compared to your body? Compared to your unbending love and loyalty towards me? Compared with these years that have gone between us? That wedding ring means nothing to me if your love doesn't stand true."

"But I love you so fucking much." Ichigo counters and looks resolutely in Byakuya's eyes that grow soft.

"Then why do you doubt my love for you, Ichigo?"

"I doubt myself."

"Then don't." Byakuya looks tenderly at him. "Ichigo, you should stop this. I see how you sometimes look at me. I see how you dread a moment that will surely come in time. At least this is what you think. You look at me like one day I will tell you that I am sick of this world and of you, that I will be gone before you know it." He inhales deeply and Ichigo knows that this might take something from his husband. "But when you look at me like that, Ichigo, you also make me feel unworthy of your love."

"No, I don't want that. It's not that." Ichigo exclaims because it is not his husband's fault that his is a raging idiot.

"I know you don't want it. However, we have been together for ten years now, I have bought you a house, I have asked you to marry me. For crying out loud, in front of God and family we are married. I don't know how you want me to prove you more that I love you and that I am here to stay." Grey orbs are filled with a sadness that was not there before. "I think it's time you validate my sacrifices, I think it's time you let go of all your insecurities and believe me when I tell you that I am here to stay."

"I believe you." Ichigo whispers because he is hurt with his husband's words although he knows they stand true. "It's just sometimes I remember too easily what it was like to be the only one in the love department."

"Well, you are not anymore." Byakuya kisses softly his eyelids. "I think you never were. I just had a hard time figuring it out." His soft elegant hands slip under Ichigo's t-shirt. "But since you have such huge problems when it comes to memory, I feel like it is my duty to remind you what we have here."

Ichigo embraces the older man, feeling tears of joy washing his cheeks as the loving grey orbs watch him in awe with loyalty and love and want and need. Moreover, he knows it is a reflection of what he feels too. And he knows that if he ever had a doubt, if he ever had insecurities about deserving Byakuya's love and sacrifices, all that is gone now.

"Yeah, I think your methods might help me." Ichigo draws the man nearer until their bodies are one and then he lets himself guided in the bedroom.

And when later, Byakuya finds the wedding ring under the pillow (because Ichigo wanted to dream of his husband – don't ask him what he was thinking, so shut up!) and puts it on Ichigo's finger all over again, the young man begins to wonder if he will ever stop falling for Kuchiki Byakuya.

**oOo**

_A/N: Damn it, I wanted to offer you a small and funny piece before the next chapter (which features major angst and drama), but apparently I keep failing when it comes to these guys. It is as if I can't write a piece without angst in it. At least it turns heavily fluffy towards the end. *** **sighs heavily * Oh, well, I hope you enjoyed it anyways. _

_Thank you so much to my reviewers. Wow, I really loved writing the previous chapter and I am so happy you liked it as well. As always, your feedback is precious to me and I thank you. And a big and happy thank you to all my readers. I am grateful for each and every one of you. Apologies for any spelling or grammatical mistake left._


	12. When Time Stops

**Disclaimer: **_Bleach_ belongs to Kubo Tite, because if it belonged to me, the things I could do with… never mind. -_^

_**12. When Time Stops**_

_Thirteen years after Confrontation_

It doesn't happen like they expected it to happen. They know that Ichigo is just a human being and that sooner or later they have to face this. But it's sudden, out of the blue type of tragedy, so much in fact that Byakuya feels shaken to the core. He can still remember the frantic call from the hospital: Ichigo has been involved in an accident and he might die.

Byakuya has forgotten to breathe. Sure, he isn't a real person here, but his life with Ichigo is, his emotions are and his love is more real than anything else. It takes him the world not to rush back to Soul Society, check in the Book of Life and see if the name of his lover and husband doesn't appear there by chance. The thing is as he's standing next to this bed, where Ichigo's battered form rests, Byakuya feels like dying a little on the inside. He knew that at some point in his life this heart wrenching moment was going to come. This is it, and yet Byakuya wants more and more time with his love, because for crying out loud, Ichigo's just turned thirty-one. He can't be dying. He can't even blame someone.

A driver suffered a heart attack and drove on the other side of the street just in time to hit Ichigo really hard and then finally stop into a tree. The other driver is dead. Ichigo has been in surgery for eight hours. His heart stopped two times and yet he's still fighting. They have fixed his broken arm and ribs, his crushed leg still needing another surgery when he gets stronger. His battered body is painted in green and blue and there are small sore gauzes that make Byakuya feel sick. However the blow to the head worries the medics and they don't know for sure when he will wake up. _If_ he wakes up.

It's hard to watch the person that you love be so frail. Ichigo's orange locks that have mesmerized the whole hospital are still under a heavy bandage to protect him for further trauma. One leg is fixed in a metal plaster that keeps it still under a pillow. His broken arm is also wrapped up into a blue plaster because blue is his favourite colour and he wouldn't like it any other way. He still can't breathe for himself so he's got a tube down his throat. Byakuya feels like dying every second that passes between them and Ichigo's not waking up. They have taken off the wedding ring, which now rests on a chain around Byakuya's neck.

His husband is here, without a single hint of energy. Seven days non-responsive. The treatment is working. They might take the tube out. But nothing is really settled. And he's the shadow of the man that he was seven days ago. Because seven days ago Ichigo woke up and prepared breakfast and brought it for him in bed. For a man that loves sleep more than anything, that was a pretty huge declaration of love. Then they made love without hurry, without a care in the world. And when he possessed him, Byakuya still remembers with certain clarity how magical everything seemed even after 15 years of living together. How Ichigo's eyes lit up in adoption and gasped an _I love you_ before finally letting himself go. Because seven days ago his lover was fine and laughing at him just before being called for an emergency at the hospital. Because seven days ago Ichigo woke up for him. Because seven days later Ichigo wasn't waking up anymore.

"You should try and eat something." Rukia's soft whisper makes him look up from the prone form of his husband with glistening eyes.

"Doesn't he look better to you today?" He asks totally unrelated to the topic and his sister is sighing because she is just as disheveled as he is and he feels like an asshole, but all he wants in that particular moment is for her to confirm his thoughts and then leave so that he could be with his husband again.

"Yes, he looks a little redder in the cheeks." She finally agrees and puts a coffee next to him and then without a word, she leaves the chamber. It's the best she can do under the circumstances.

Byakuya feels a little guilty but not enough for him to step out of that room, because in this room it's his reason to exist and for him that's enough. He found out that the nurses call Ichigo "Sleeping beauty" and he feels entitled to be proud of it. If only it would be like in the fairy tale and he would wake up from his kiss. God, he wants that so much because now Ichigo is in between worlds. Not even his hallow is responsive and that scares the shit out of Byakuya. He's scared that even after his death, he won't get to be with Ichigo anymore, that maybe when he passes away he will be just like everybody else and forget his memories. Their love. Their promise to be together for eternity.

The door opens again and this time Isshin steps into the room, taking the place on the other side of the bed. Byakuya looks at the older man: he looks disheveled at best; not the proud shinigami anymore but a dad that feels his world might crumble down in an instant. Byakuya loves Isshin more than anything in that particular second, because he is the only one who understands his pathological need to be with Ichigo, not leaving his side.

"You know," Isshin starts and Byakuya listens because a long time ago has learnt the hard way that his father-in-law is always right, "when Ichigo told me the first time that he is gay, I told him that it didn't matter, that he is still my son, that he is still loved and cherished. He cried that night: I don't think he was really expecting this sort of reaction from my part. It was the last time he let me hug him and make those tears go away."

Byakuya remembers what Ichigo told him about that night: he has never loved his father more than in that moment when he accepted him like it was nothing, with natural love and pure desire to protect. Isshin smiles at his son with such love that Byakuya feels choked up by the whole situation but he knows that he needs to listen so he shuts his mouth.

"When he told me that he was in love with you, I felt like I might have to kill you."

"Why?" Byakuya dares to ask, although he is a little surprised because the old man has been nothing but friendly towards him.

"Because I didn't know if you would love him enough to leave Soul Society like I had done for Masaki. And you proved me right. For one year and a half. But then when I saw you the first time with my son, I knew that everything was going to be alright." Isshin gently caresses the clothed hand of his son and he looks even more destitute. "I like you, Byakuya, don't get me wrong, but one tear of my son because of you and I would have killed you without hesitation." And there's something in Isshin's eyes that makes Byakuya not doubt his word. "But I feel like I have to thank you."

"For what?"

"For making my son happy all these years. I have never seen Ichigo more alive than when he's with you and for that I feel like I will be forever in your debt. And trust me when I tell you that you will make him happy for years to come. My son won't let this slip away from him. He has fought too goddamn hard for it and for the blood that he has shed I think the gods will be merciful and let him live with you for even longer than he has already."

Byakuya feels suddenly stunned by the pure greatness that Isshin Kurosaki is and the devotion of a parent.

"Thank you." He chokes out because yeah, this is the only thing that he can do and he feels reassured by it.

"You're welcome." Isshin finally smiles a little and says: "Now would you forgive an old sappy father and let him spend a few minutes alone with his beloved son?"

"Yes." Byakuya answers without hesitation because he knows that it's the least he can do. He takes the coffee and goes outside in the waiting room where there's Inoue and Ishida. They whisper something to each other and when they see him, they smile gently at him and start to make small talk with him. Of course it doesn't work very well, because, yeah, Byakuya is a sucker and he can't make small talk to save his life, but he appreciates the effort so he opens up a little to them. They are grateful. Byakuya had always known that Inoue loved Ichigo more than in a brotherly way, but today it feels like she hasn't distanced herself from those feelings. But Ichigo is special in everyone's hearts.

He had always known that Ichigo is loved by those whom he saved and not only. Because Ichigo is like a sun: everyone takes a glimpse at him and everyone loves him and gravitates around him. And Ichigo brightens their days as they fall under his spell more and more. And when Ichigo smiles, it's like the world has become a better place. Their friends, others from work, children, his patients, everyone has sent flowers, their regards, and their best wishes. And Byakuya appreciates them because although they might not help get Ichigo back, they help him reassure himself, that his lover isn't judged by his life choices. Almost all the shinigamis have come to visit him too, telling Byakuya that Ichigo's time hasn't come yet, that he will recover soon. Zaraki even yelled that he would kick his ass if he sees him in Soul Society. Byakuya secretly suspects that Zaraki likes and cares for the young man more than he lets the others know and he is grateful for that too.

Ten minutes later Isshin comes back in the room and lets Byakuya get back, without exchanging any other words. What they have told each other had been enough. He had finished his coffee anyways and Byakuya asks the couple to go home as well. Another horrible night was approaching. The eighth.

He kisses softly the forehead of his lover and slowly sits down again. A nurse comes back a little later and checks his vitals and then leaves them alone. He also knows what they say about the two of them. He doesn't care about anything. He just wants Ichigo's scowling face back; he just wants those chocolate eyes to look at him adoringly again.

Knowing that he will be alone now, Byakuya grasps Ichigo's healthy hand and chokes on a sob. He tried so much not to let himself fall in that pit of despair that now that he had finally fallen, he hits rock bottom hard.

"It's your own goddamn fault, you bastard." He hisses through tears of muffled pain and sorrow. "If you had let me come after you, if you had let others take the patient, none of this would have happened. You had to be an asshole and do all this and gather all these people and make them worry." Another sob wrecks his body. "I know I am the way I am and I know that sometimes you aren't as happy as you seem to be; and you don't always tell me things for fear I might not understand, but I love you, Ichigo, I love you so goddamn much that sometimes it hurts. It feels like I constantly want to be at your side and you don't know the times that I became a shinigami at the beginning of our relationship just so I could follow you around, make sure you're safe."

Byakuya fully cries now.

"You-can't…. I just can't imagine my life without you. My whole existence is without purpose if you're not in it. And I can't, Ichigo, I simply can't live without you. I don't know how to do it anymore and I don't know how I have done it before. So please, _please_, if you love me just as much as you say you do, return to me, my love, return to me and I promise you I will love you even more, cherish you even more, make you mine so that even death gets scared and leaves you be. I love you so please, just _please_…"

It hurts so bad to see Ichigo so lifeless that Byakuya cries for a very long time because he hasn't lied one bit. He simply can't live without Ichigo anymore and he knows that his husband feels the same. He falls asleep like that with his hand grasped between his own, with his head on the bed close just so he can hear Ichigo's breathing.

**OoOo**

"_What are you doing?" He mumbles not wanting to wake up, still warm in his lover's embrace._

"_I am looking at you." _

"_Aren't you tired of this?" He finally opens his grey eyes just so he could drown in some warm brown ones._

"_Never." And he kisses him slowly, like they have all the time in the world, like they could stay like that forever without a care in the world._

**OoOo**

"_Ichigo, for crying out loud, you promised to do the damn laundry. It's definitely your turn."_

"_But I got distracted!" He whines and looks with a mischievous look on his face at Byakuya, who's standing in front of the sink full of dirty clothes. He's wearing a very faded blue t-shirt and some boxers that have seen better days._

"_How my coming in the bathroom is a distraction?" Byakuya answers and then Ichigo raises an eyebrow and then Byakuya gets surprised. Oh…_Oh_… He licks his lips and then tugs Ichigo until he's in his breathing space and the young man's panting breaths make him want to flush their bodies, which he does in a quick motion. "I don't know why I keep putting up with your rude behaviour." He whispers as he licks his lover's beautiful and definitely tasty neck. _

"_It's because you're old and I'm definitely young." Ichigo states amused by the whole thing, but clearly a little more than worked up. "You're after my stamina." The orange haired idiot actually winks and grins at him._

"_I'll show you stamina." Byakuya takes Ichigo and carries in a fireman's grip his lover in the bedroom to show him how much stamina he's got so that no complains should be heard later. The clothes lay forgotten until the next day._

**OoOo**

"_A dog." Ichigo says cheerfully as he studies his medicine books again, in hopes he might find something to help one of his patients. Byakuya is reading a paper of one of his students (who skipped classes and actually thinks that he might pass his course – ignorant little shit) so he's only half listening._

"_Cat. Bone. Master. Why are we playing that association game again?" He mumbles in reply as he decides that the paper is utter crap and his student will fail. Ichigo's happy laugh makes him finally look up with his appropriate Kuchiki disdain. "What's so funny?"_

"_I was actually thinking of what to buy for Yuzu's birthday. I was thinking of a dog." Ichigo grins at him. "You're weird, Byakuya Kuchiki."_

"_I am weird? You're the one that kept playing this silly game and wanted for me to be part of it and then constantly changed the rules." Byakuya is definitely not pouting. Seriously. Not pouting. But bastard Ichigo doesn't seem to care as he grins wider. "And yes, I think that Yuzu would like that."_

"_I thought so too. And I'm a man of honour, Byakuya; I would never change the rules for anything in the world so they could suit me." Yeah, yeah, like Byakuya doesn't know that Ichigo is a sneaky bastard sometimes._

"_Honour, my ass." He retorts definitely not very brightly._

"_Honour your ass? Is this one of your new kinks?" Ichigo grins and Byakuya just smacks him over the head._

"_You should know better, bright eyes."_

"_I think I should." Ichigo mumbles back and the amused and yet fond look on his face makes Byakuya smile back. Seriously, it's impossible to resist Ichigo Kurosaki. _

**OoOo**

It's the ninth day.

Ichigo stops responding to the treatment and doctors get worried again. Byakuya lives from memories and his hand on the wedding ring that he keeps like his most prized possession.

It's the tenth.

Everyone seems to lose hope bit by bit. They don't smile reassuringly to Byakuya anymore and even Karin seems darker and darker, with soft cheeks paled and stained with tears. Yuzu is a mess and Isshin has a new stoic demeanor. Byakuya hates them all. They rob him of the little hope that he had left.

It's eleventh.

Byakuya goes to the toilette. In those two minutes, after eleven days, 12 hours and 45 minutes, when nobody is at his side other than a nurse and nobody is waiting in the waiting room, Ichigo Kurosaki finally wakes up and makes the fucking tantrum of the year. The nurses and more doctors rush at his side trying to make him calm down and yet Ichigo is relentless. They barely try to explain him the procedures but his eyes are frantic and they are looking at their faces scared shitless. They can't get the tube out of his throat and that makes him suffer even more.

Two seconds. That's all it takes for Byakuya to get two doctors out of his way and lean over Ichigo's frantic form, cup his cheeks and make him look at him. It takes just one second for Ichigo to calm down. He looks into Byakuya's glistening eyes and he calms down almost instantly. The vitals relax and just like that he calms down. Byakuya smiles a little and then looks at the doctors like they are garbage.

"Scare my husband again like that and I will personally make your life a living hell." And when he says it with all the arrogance of the Kuchiki name that has been bestowed on him for generations, all the three doctors cower in fear and they gulp loudly. Though the nurses look rather enthralled by the whole affair. And seem like they have something totally different in their minds.

Byakuya's attention goes back to Ichigo: "Now, you stubborn asshole, let the doctors do their jobs or I will personally knock you out again, got it?" There's an arrogant smirk on Ichigo's face that makes Byakuya roll his eyes. If their exchange is strange for the other people in the room, they don't say anything. They know better. They proceed with caution.

"Ok, Mr. Kuchiki, now I am going to take the tube out of your throat. On three, you inhale and then try to spit it out. It will make the whole affair a lot easier on your throat." Ichigo nods and Byakuya lets them do their jobs. He takes his phone out and calls Isshin. He tells him everything. He hears the older male break but he lets those tears wash over him because he feels just as grateful as Isshin does. The former shinigami will take Ichigo's sisters and come to the hospital.

For half an hour afterwards, the doctors push and prod him and they finally consider themselves satisfied with their exam. Apparently Ichigo is one lucky son of a bitch because there's no permanent damage and he will soon be able to suffer the second surgery to his leg. All in all, everything seems all right and soon they are left alone. Byakuya still looks on the window unable to believe that everything is finally over, that his husband is out here, alive, smiling a little loopy, drugged with pain medicine.

"Come here." The hoarse voice makes him crumble even more and he knows there's a new tension in his shoulders. His hands are shaking bad and he wants to hide the fact that he is still shaken.

"Eleven days, 12 hours and 45 minutes." Byakuya mumbles and finally turns to his husband. Ichigo blinks confused at him. He is still in pain. The medicine hasn't made its effects yet and Byakuya hurts so much. A thick lump settles in his throat, making him hurt so bad that he can barely breathe.

"Huh?"

"Eleven days, 2 hours and 45 minutes." Byakuya repeats with a familiar harshness. "This is how much time I have spent by your bed thinking that I could lose you forever."

"I would never leave you." Ichigo speaks softly and there's such tenderness in his voice that Byakuya feels ready to crumble all over again.

"But you almost did. For all this time, you were in between worlds and I thought you were gone. I can't-" Byakuya feels himself heavy and sits in the chair still keeping distance from his husband, a distance that hurts both of them.

"Is this your freak-out? It's a little late to leave me, I might say." Ichigo half jokes, but there's such terror behind those words, that in a second Byakuya hovers over him and cups his face. How can Ichigo still have that fear when Byakuya is more terrified to lose him? And that's when it hits him.

"Don't leave me! Don't _ever_ leave me!" He mumbles desperately. "I know I am an impossible jerk sometimes and I know that even after all this time, there's still so much to learn for me when it comes to relationships, but I love you so fucking much that sometimes I don't know what to do. So please, don't ever leave me."

Ichigo smiles and there's so much unadulterated love in his eyes when he answers simply: "I love you too. Now how could I ever leave you? What strange ideas crossed your mind while I was a little sleepier than usual? I will always wake up for you, Byakuya; you should know this by now."

And that's it: Byakuya drinks that smile away, tasting that mouth again. It's a reassuring kiss but when he looks back to Ichigo and his husband smiles, and he puts the wedding ring on that slim finger, he knows: they are going to be just fine.

**OoOo**

_A/N: When I started this chapter, I wanted to be the beginning of the end, but then another idea hit me and this turned into what it is today. ^_^ Hope you enjoyed it anyways. As always a big thank you to my reviewers and my readers. My gratitude goes to you._


	13. When Time Moves Again

**Disclaimer: **I'm crying on the inside because _Bleach_ doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Kubo Tite.

_**13. When Time Moves Again**_

_Almost three months after the car accident_

Ichigo feels like he has been fighting Aizen all over again, only this time it didn't end up really well for him. He looks around the bedroom while Byakuya is still in the shower and he scowls. After one month and a half of painful torture and two more surgeries, after being nagged at, prodded and pined, he's finally home. He looks at his arm, which isn't broken anymore, he can finally breathe more easily which means his ribs are finally getting back together. He looks down at his traitorous leg. Two fucking surgeries because of it. Two fucking surgeries that left him morose and scowling and he's so sick and tired of being treated like he's made of glass simply because his leg finally decided to heal better but still painfully slowly.

He closes his eyes and then lets himself soothed by the running water. He would so much like to join Byakuya under the shower now. So much in fact it hurts. Because yeah, he knows that he almost died and he knows that his heart stopped twice and that he spent more days in coma than he would have liked, but Ichigo would so much want to just go back to his job, talking with his friends (anything else except for his recuperation) and just making love to his husband. Is it too much to ask? Instead all he gets is more physical therapy which leaves him breathless and in pain for hours afterward. He gets distance from Byakuya who is too afraid to touch him for fear he might break or something and, on top of it all, he just feels like there's no progress and so it's not surprising the fact that he has so many nightmares about it.

Ichigo swallows hard as he remembers that horrible part of his recuperation and wishes for a moment that Byakuya would just let him not sleep tonight. Surely something can be done about it: he will hear any story about Soul Society or the Kuchiki clan; he'll apply a fucking blowjob or a hand job or anything else he's capable of at the moment, just so that Byakuya won't make him sleep.

"You're really tense…" The soft murmuring makes him open his eyes and drown in deep gray pools, which look at him with concern. He's so fucking tired to see that concern in them. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." He snaps back. He's been home for two weeks now and he's not better. He hates the fact that he takes it on Byakuya and he feels selfish about it when all he wants is just get some sleep and wake up when his fucking leg decides to work properly again. He wants to get back to work, laugh with everyone and try to save people's life. He doesn't want to feel like this.

"Alright then." Byakuya seems hesitant in his movements and there's a frown on his forehead that hasn't left that place since Ichigo woke up. "Let's get some sleep. Tomorrow Yuzu promised to make us an apple pie."

"That's just perfect." He snaps again as his husband finally turns off the lights and sighs. Sure, how can he forget? His whole family is involved in his goddamn recuperation. He's making all these people losing time with him when all he wants is to be left alone. He doesn't find himself worthy of such sacrifice especially since he knows he's an asshole with everybody. It's just that everybody treats him like he's a fucking invalid. Which he's not, thank you very much. He can finally use crutches although he's still prohibited from putting any pressure on his injured leg.

He hears Byakuya's deep breaths and he knows he's asleep. His husband must be exhausted and Ichigo feels that pang of guilt again. He's making everybody suffer. His husband more than anyone else. Why can't he just finally heal? Byakuya has been working and trying to take care of Ichigo at the same time. Yes, true his sisters come in the morning and take care of Ichigo but in the afternoon it's Byakuya's job and that makes Ichigo feel useless and really guilty.

"I'm sorry." He whispers and brushes his knuckles on Byakuya's face. As if he's feeling him, Byakuya gets closer and he puffs some breaths on Ichigo's cheek. They make him feel so comfortable. That small thing makes him so grateful that he just falls asleep.

_Ichigo is finding himself in the car thinking about what he should do with his little patient. They have changed the treatment for so many times now, that he's getting tired to tell his parents that this one would work for sure. They are gradually losing hope and that is even more dangerous. Because if the parents get depressed then the patient will get sad and hopeless and that would be fucking it. He sighs again thinking of how he can't wait to go back to Byakuya and just let himself wrapped in those arms. Like they have been just a couple of hours ago. Damn it. The red light makes him feel impatient. He drums impatiently his fingers on the steering wheel. When the green finally appear,s he's just so goddamn happy. No offence but a patient waits for him. Just as he's making the turn he sees the car. Next thing he knows there's just this crack which is getting louder and louder and all of the sudden there's just this huge explosion of metal and fiery pain that makes him swallow hard and his last thought is "I won't be able to see Byakuya again". Then there's this distorted metal trapping his leg under it and an incredibly pain surges into his left leg and his lungs feel with needles. And that's when…._

…. he's woken by his own frantic screams. He's trashing around, he can tell and yet the moment he feels those arms strong and caring around his waist, when he feels himself pulled to a hard chest and hears all those wonderful comforting words, he finally lets himself start crying.

"I'm here, my love. I'm here. You're alright, you're ok." Byakuya keeps him closer and closer and he just cries like a helpless baby because this is how he feels.

"I've got you." Byakuya softly whispers. "I've got you and I will never let you get hurt again. I've got you, my love."

Ichigo sobs harder because he feels like such a failure. He feels like Byakuya shouldn't be doing this, comforting him like he does and saying the things he says. He feels like he has cheated and he feels like he should man up. But he can't. Those comforting arms make him feel so protected, so far away from the nightmare he had just he just sinks more, staining Byakuya's t-shirt with his tears and snot. Byakuya is whispering small nonsense in his ear, half of which he can't even make out, but still comforting nonetheless. He grabs hands full of Byakuya's t-shirt and he just inhales, feeling the older man's scent, something that is particularly Byakuya. He doesn't know when he finally stops sobbing like a pathetic loser and gets finally some sleep. But he still feels even in that dreamless sleep the soft caresses of long and loving fingers; he still hears the soft whispers of getting better.

When he finally wakes up, the sun is already shinning and he feels like a train wreck. Or possibly a victim of it. He sits comfortably between pillows again but his leg is hurting him again and there's this throb in his head which makes his eyes water as he slowly opens them. The light makes him groan and he tries to hide under the pillows but there's no such luck.

"Good morning, Ichigo." Byakuya's cautious voice reminds him of what he did last night and he wants to howl. "How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." He promptly answers and feels like a monumental asshole but suddenly his pain overwhelms him again. His leg hurts even more and his head makes him want to stop the world. He suddenly gets up and looks panicked at Byakuya: "Bring me a trash can." He says in a harsher but definitely panicky voice and before he knows what happens, he pukes in the trashcan that Byakuya has brought to him, while he feels his muscles convulsing.

Byakuya disappears a little and then he feels a cold cloth on his neck and forehead and he feels a little better. One of Byakuya's hands is on his stomach and he feels for a moment like maybe he actually feels better, like the heat of that hand takes the pain away.

When nothing but bile comes up and then finally stops, Ichigo lies back on the pillows again and he breathes harshly. Byakuya brings him a glass of water and he rinses his mouth. The bitter tastes slowly fades and Ichigo feels like he might be crying all over again.

"Sorry." He mumbles as he sees Byakuya taking the trashcan in the bathroom. His husband smiles a little sheepishly and when he returns he's still dressed in his pajamas.

"You have nothing to apologize, Ichigo. You would do this for me as well. Let's just concentrate in making you get better."

"That's not going very well, is it?" Ichigo smiles for the first time since he got home and he sees a response in Byakuya's own twitching lips. He remembers how wonderful his husband was with him last night.

"Well, you definitely want to complicate things. I presume it's the one and only Kurosaki method."

"It is." Ichigo sighs. "I feel like shit. Help me take a shower, please."

"Hmm, with all the pleasure in the world." Byakuya even licks his lips as he makes for Ichigo.

"Pervert."

"I have never said I wasn't." Byakuya smiles again and Ichigo, against all hope, smiles back. Just as he finally puts his trembling arms around Byakuya's shoulders, his husband whispers: "Are you going to let me take care of you?" The whispers are so low that for a moment Ichigo thinks that he might have just dreamed of them. But Byakuya looks expectantly and he realizes that they are in this half embrace and Ichigo feels like the lump in his throat might never go.

"What do you mean?" He whispers back as if he is afraid of breaking the spell that settled between them in the sunny morning.

"I almost lost you. I don't want to truly lose you, Ichigo. Just let me take care of you; it's no hardship for me." Byakuya hugs him tightly. "I love you so goddamn much and I can't understand why you would-"

"I feel like such a loser." Ichigo breaks. "Every time you're doing something for me, I feel like I am useless, like I make your life harder."

"Ichigo, love isn't supposed to be easy and I thought that you of all people would understand that. When I said for better or for worse, I really meant it. And excuse me if I think my husband looks fucking adorable in the morning, clinging like this on my shoulders, while still smelling like hell."

"See if I ever put out again to you." Ichigo mumbles in Byakuya's shoulder but he feels elated by his husband's confession.

"Honey, you'll put out for me even if it kills me. Or you for that matter." And right then, Byakuya grabs his chin and kisses him. Ichigo complies because he's starving for these kisses but all too soon everything ends. "You stink horribly but I still love you."

"I love you too, you asshole."

"Ok, then. Let's take a shower now. I'm planning to spend the day with you, watch the crappy shows that you watch and pretend you're not adorable while you pout that your favourite characters didn't end up together. And after we will have debouched ourselves with junk food and silly TV, I will blow you because I really think you need that."

"How generous of you."

"Isn't it?"

"And for the record I don't pout. I scowl. And I'm not adorable."

"Like hell you aren't." Byakuya says as he finally turns on the water.

"Are you really planning on staying at home today?" Ichigo asks in a small voice.

"Yes, I called Yuzu this morning and told her will eat that tasty apple pie of hers another time. It's just you and me."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. And because I want you to see a psychiatrist and I don't want your sister to see the fucking tantrum when I suggest it."

"I don't do tantrums." Ichigo scowls, not pouts, thank you very much. "But I think that your idea isn't bad. With the psychiatrist I mean."

"Great. It means I can have a hand job as well." Byakuya whispers just as Ichigo finally steps naked with his husband in the shower cabin. He looks into his husband's eyes and thinks for a moment how lucky he is for having this and he promises that he'll do better. He'll _be_ better.

"Anything you want." He replies hotly and suddenly it feels like that shower will actually take a whole goddamn more time than any of them suspects.

And that's fine with both of them.

**oOo**

_A/N: A big thank you to my reviewers. Your enthusiasm for my story is really great and a huge inspiration. And thank you to all of you for reading/alerting/ favoriting this story. I have written three more chapters for this story. But because you all are awesome like that, I thought I did something for you in return. I know that this isn't a usual thing around here, but I wanted to offer you something back. So here's my idea: if you want a moment in their common life to be written about then leave a word in a review and I will try to honour them all. Even the anonymous ones. So fire away. ^_^ This offer will stand until Wednesday 10 CET when I will publish a new chapter._


	14. Cohabitation: Approval

**Disclaimer: **Kubo Tite owns _Bleach_ and everything related to it; I just own this small crazy idea that these two guys would look good together.

_**14. Cohabitation: Approval**_

_Three months after Confrontation_

Ichigo is nervous because he has finally what he wants in his life and now everything seems easier. Usually when everything goes so nicely in his life, he knows that something is doomed to happen and ruin everything. It's expected. After he acquired power to defend his family, he almost lost it again. He became a Vizard, discovered a hollow in his head (_And don't you forget it, baby! – Shut up!)_ and on top of it all, he died countless times, spilt more blood than necessary and in the end although he defeated the worst enemy of them all, he still wasn't happy because he had to admit to his family that he was gay and that he was in love with a man that most likely would have never corresponded to his feelings.

He's just saying. Well, he doesn't know what he is saying, but you get the picture. Ichigo never had anything easy and he fears when that happens. But then again, here he is. Three months into a relationship with Byakuya and it feels so right and so difficult at the same time. He didn't know what to expect when Byakuya came after him and told him all those things that he wanted to hear, when he made love to him and he finally thought that all his sappy dreams came true. The first month had been excruciating. Making Byakuya adapt to the new world had been an incredibly difficult task, especially because here in the real world Byakuya Kuchiki didn't exist and he needed an identity, he needed something to become real. The first month was also the one in which they have mapped each other; they have talked like they never had before, getting to know each other, and for the first time Ichigo was happy. Urahara had a big role in that too. He helped with a lot of things, making Byakuya's life a little more reasonable and implicitly Ichigo's too. It was Urahara after all who dealt with the false paperwork and the references that Byakuya needed to get a spot at the university and was offered the title of professor.

The second month they finally started on that cohabitation thing. Mostly they became aware of it anyways. Difficult, very difficult. Ichigo knew that he was a little anal retentive (_ok, a lot, shut up, stupid hallow!_) and that he needed order. In that particular sense Byakuya has been more than obliging, but there were other mundane things that Byakuya needed to learn because he didn't have any more servants and he had to do some things of his own. The best part was that in spite of his scowling and general weariness when it came to all that, Byakuya managed to accommodate Ichigo's needs more than he had expected. Of course there were still some fighting, although there were no raised voices. In the end they established an order to their slightly chaotic life and soon enough both of them were happy with how the things presented themselves (_Namely with the disgusting make up sessions! – I seriously need to go back down there and kick your ass, stupid hollow! – No, King, relax, I'm just screwing with ya'_.)

But they are now well into their third month and although there are still a lot of things that need to be learned or clarified, Ichigo feels like it's time to do the most dreaded thing of them all, which is why he is completely anxious. He feels like it's time to introduce Byakuya to his family because after all from now he is going to be part of his life and he doesn't want to hide anymore. He feels confident enough in his powers to make his choice known to his family, but he's not very sure they are going to react. Yes, they know that he is gay and at least his father knows of his love for Byakuya, but being exposed to the reality of it all of the blue might not do the trick.

He's sitting on the couch of their small apartment and thinks hard on what to do. He knows that he can't prolong this any longer because he isn't ashamed with Byakuya in his life, he isn't ashamed with them being together.

"You're quiet." His lover's voice startles him and he wonders how long Byakuya has been staying there right next to him without him noticing. Ichigo smiles wearily because he is a little afraid of the reaction that Byakuya might have related to his gigantic scary idea.

"I'm usually quiet." He answers stalling, which makes Byakuya in return raise an eyebrow all knowingly.

"No, you are not. Most of the times you can hear me from the door, you welcome me and you're like a puppy, happy to see me and then you get excited and want to tell me what you have been doing at university today."

"Really?" Ichigo feels a little off when he can't even guess if the love of his life is joking or not, although the idea of Byakuya joking is slightly disturbing.

"No, but this actually proves my theory that something is wrong." Byakuya comes a little closer to him and puts his hand on Ichigo's back slowly working its way towards his nape where he caresses the orange locks over there. Ichigo realized pretty much the first day that Byakuya has a thing for his hair but he doesn't say anything because he loves the way sometimes Byakuya concentrates over caressing him. He relaxes into that hand and he slowly draws out a relaxed breath.

"I want you to meet my family, I want to introduce you to them and I don't want to go to another Sunday lunch without you." Ichigo feels that hand stilling for just a couple of seconds then the movement is back so he feels confident enough in continuing: "I don't want to hide anymore and I know that it will be difficult to you, but I just feel like it's time."

"I understand your reasons, Ichigo, but I am a little concerned with the reactions that your family might have." Byakuya's voice is soothing for his anxious trembling stomach but he knows that his lover hasn't finished. "You haven't mentioned me to your family before and I think it would be best if you would firstly talk to them about my presence there and then if they want to, I could accompany you to a Sunday lunch."

"My father knows about you." Ichigo blushes adorably. "Well, about my feelings towards you anyways. And I am sure that my sisters will be kind to you because they have always been like that. I don't think that you should worry about how they welcome you." Those graceful fingers that caressed his nape still and they softly turn his head towards his lover, making soft warm brown eyes meet tender grey ones. There's frown on Byakuya's face and when he speaks again, his voice is a little more serious than expected.

"When I think about their reactions towards my presence next to you, I do not think of my feelings on the matter, I think about yours, Ichigo. I came into the real world because I want to be with you, because separated from you is not an option anymore. I sound harsh when I say this because I do want for your family to like me, I do want your sisters and your father to perceive me as a new addition to your family, but on the other hand their reactions towards me aren't important as long as they don't make you unhappy. I am here for you, just for _you_ and I won't let anyone or anything to separate us."

"I want them to like you. I want them to accept you." Ichigo whispers faintly and Byakuya draws him closer to him.

"And I want them to do that for you, because I know how much you would hurt if it didn't happen. I will try my best behaviour, but I think that they deserve a warning at least before my presence is required at lunch."

"You have a best behaviour?" Ichigo smiles a little this time and from the softer look on his face, Byakuya considers it a small victory. "You mean you can be less of an anti-social bastard sometimes?"

"You know, I have always been aware of the fact that you are incredibly rude, but since I have moved here you are awfully disrespectful." Byakuya slowly leans forward and stops right next to Ichigo's lips. The young man's breath hitches and for a moment he feels like he might lose himself in the scorching desire to be kissed by the older man. He stills himself when Byakuya slowly kisses the corner of his mouth. It's as soft as a butterfly's wings. He stops breathing almost completely as his arms enwrap his lover's waist. He never thought that Byakuya could be so gentle in his gestures, in their intimacy. Long fingers are still on his nape while the other hand is now on his small back. Their breaths mingle but that is all. Nothing else happens. It's as if time freezes between the two of them.

"Please…" Ichigo whimpers in need when it all becomes too much, when he feels like he might burst with need and want.

"Please what, you brat?" And Ichigo knows that if he would open his eyes, he would see a mischievous licker in those soft grey orbs, a licker that only he can see, that's destined only for him.

"Please, kiss me." He begs shamelessly because at this point in his life he doesn't care how needy he sounds when it comes to Byakuya. But then he feels loving lips pressed over his, just in a small pressure at the beginning. But then the tip of his tongue slowly caresses Ichigo's lips and the young man opens them in a small gasp of too much need and too much desire. But Byakuya takes his time. He slowly delves into Ichigo's mouth as he tastes everything and leaves his lover completely breathless. It's too much and not enough and Ichigo whimpers needing something more. He tilts his head making his lover groan in pleasure as the access further improves. There's no space between them. There's no air. And there's no world around them. Just their love and their need for each other, their life together for which they have fought a lot and for which they will have to further fight because life is never easy for them. But at the moment all logical thought is gone from Ichigo's mind as he lets himself be caressed and loved and appreciated, something which Byakuya does. Thoroughly.

Another two days pass but this matter doesn't leave Ichigo alone and chews at his heart, so when his father calls him to confirm his presence at the traditional Sunday lunch, Ichigo kind of blurts everything out.

"I want to bring Byakuya with me. On Sunday. At home."

There's a sudden tensed silence at the other end of the phone.

"I wasn't aware of the fact that Byakuya Kuchiki is in the living world." His father's voice is strikingly serious and Ichigo's heart hammers in his chest.

"He has been for some time now. He has come to live with me." Ichigo confesses faintly and there's a gasp from his father's side.

"The manner in which you announce me all of this doesn't make me feel better, my son." The profound voice makes him feel five all over again. "How long is he going to stay?"

"As long as I live."

"I see." Another pause. "Very well, I will expect you and Byakuya on Sunday, around the same hour."

"Ok, dad. Thank you. And please try not to behave like your usual self."

"Well, Ichigo, because of the manner in which you have announced me all of this, I believe you can't ask this from me now, can you? Goodbye, son."

"Goodbye." Ichigo murmurs as he hears the end of the line going dead. He suddenly has a really bad feeling about it.

But he knows that this is something he has to do. So he just sighs and waits to see what is going to happen on Sunday. He is so anxious about the whole thing that the two more days pass in a blur and his stomach is tied into knots as he finally is on his way towards his father's house on Sunday. Byakuya walks next to him in complete silence, something that actually manages to steady him a little bit. His lover is dressed in a white shirt and some grey slacks, while his long jet-black hair falls down on his shoulders. The white shirt seems to embrace the broad shoulders and he still has this surprise to see Byakuya wearing normal clothes instead of the shinigami uniform and the haiori. Ichigo finds him incredibly attractive and feels lucky to be able to walk aside him.

"Everything is going to be all right, Ichigo." His lover says softly and Ichigo smiles a little crookedly at him. It's not that he doesn't trust Byakuya, it's that he doesn't trust himself. Or his family for that matter. "I promise I will try to be as social as you want me to be," Byakuya continues, "so please, don't worry."

"Thank you." Ichigo inhales deeply as they finally are in front of the door. "I love you," he whispers softly and pecks the older man on his lips. Byakuya's grey eyes soften even more and he whispers an "I love you too" right before the door opens and a very serious Isshin comes into view.

"Hello, son, nice to see you again."

"Hello, dad. This is Byakuya Kuchiki."

"Nice to meet you, Kurosaki-san."

"Nice to meet you too, young Kuchiki. Please, come in."

They enter and for 0.5 seconds Ichigo has the illusion that everything will go as planned. He is so wrong. As soon as they enter into the house though, his father throws himself at Masaki's poster and starts to wail:

"Masaki, dearest Masaki! Our son has finally grown up! He has brought his first boyfriend! What am I going to do Masaki? Before I know it, I will be left alone. Masaki!"

Boyfriend… Hmm, it rolls so nice in his mind that he promises himself that later on he will start practicing that. At the moment he wants to correct his father and tell him this is far from being true. Byakuya is more to him than he ever dreamed and he doesn't want to put a label to everything there's between the two of them. He would like to explain to his father the seriousness of this relationship but he knows that this is not the time.

"Shut up, goat face!" Ichigo scowls annoyed and hits his father on the head and then hopes that Byakuya isn't too much scared. This is as much about Byakuya liking his family as it is about his family liking him.

"Don't mind him." Yuzu's kind voice startles all the men. "It's really nice to meet you, Kuchiki-san." She smiles at the elegant man in front of her and Ichigo feels proud of her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Yuzu-san. Your brother has mentioned that you are a wonderful cook." Byakuya's gentle voice makes Yuzu blush harder than ever before and Ichigo understands so well. He has a problem as well when it comes to resist Byakuya when he talks like that.

"Oh, thank you. You are too kind, Kuchiki-san. I just hope I don't disappoint you then."

"I dare say that this is not a possibility."

"You don't have to compliment her so much." Karin interrupts the both of them upon entering the living room. She looks like someone has drowned her puppies and that man is Byakuya. "She's already settled on liking you, something which can't be said about me though."

"Karin!" Ichigo hisses, afraid that his lover may take an easy offence.

"Please, Ichigo, there's no need for that." Byakuya's warm hand settles on Ichigo's shoulder and Karin tenses even more. Ichigo sees this right away and he starts to tense as well. He swallows heavily and thinks that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. It confuses him though because he thought that if someone would understand what he feels, it would be Karin.

"Well, the lunch will be ready in about ten minutes." Yuzu announces awkwardly to try and dispel the sudden tension in the room. They all look at her a little guilty and Ichigo feels gratitude towards her.

"Ichigo, son," Isshin's smiling face calms him a little bit, "why don't you show your boyfriend the house while I have a word with your sister?"

"Yes, dad, I think that would be a great idea." Ichigo takes Byakuya's hand and heads out towards the garden at the back of their house. He loves it out here and he has spent many moments here at night staring at the stars once the Winter War had finished, dreaming that Byakuya would come after him and take him away from everything. The garden was also probably his mother's favorite place so that definitely helps.

"I'm sorry," he mutters distressed. "I don't know what's wrong with Karin. She usually is much friendlier."

"Ichigo, relax. I'm not mad." Byakuya's face is at best thoughtful so that definitely helps Ichigo reassure himself for a few precious minutes. As if sensing the effects that he has on him, Byakuya gets closer and cups his cheek. He doesn't say anything. He just runs his thumb over his high cheek and Ichigo feels like melting. He closes his eyes and just savors the small tingling sensations. The world disappears again within their hearts and Karin catches them exactly like that.

"Yuzu says you can come to table." She almost spits the words out and stumps back into the house. Byakuya leans towards Ichigo and kisses the top of his head.

"Now I know how Renji felt when he came and asked permission to go out with my sister." Ichigo smiles weakly because he knows that his boyfriend just wants to reassure him.

"Karma is a bitch."

"Thank you for that, brat." Byakuya kisses him softly and then they get into the house holding hands. They aren't going to hide what they feel for each other. They settle at the table and small talk ensues as they finally start on the delicious meal Yuzu had prepared. Karin is the only one who refuses to participate. She ignores completely Byakuya's presence and she continuously scowls at Ichigo. He's getting tired of his sister's game and he's just about had it when his father makes the matters worse. Yuzu is just brining dessert when his father looks seriously at Byakuya and says:

"So what are your intentions?"

"My intentions?"

"Yes, towards my son."

"Dad!" Ichigo hisses because he doesn't know what has got into his family but enough is enough.

"Ichigo, I think that I am entitled to ask this question." He's scrutinizing Byakuya. "Are you planning on woo him? Taking him on dates and stuff? Buy him flowers?"

"Goddamn it, dad! That's enough!" Ichigo yells startling both their sisters. "I'm not a fu- a damn girl."

"I'm sorry, dear son, but in this case you totally are and I want to hear this man's intentions towards your person." His father exclaims poking Byakuya's chest with his finger. "Confess, young man, what are your intentions with my son? Are you planning on making an honest man out of him?"

"Dad, come one! Byakuya, you don't have to answer this question."

"But I want to. It's all right." The raven-haired man looks seriously at Ichigo's dad. "Isshin-san, I think that my presence here shows my commitment towards your son. I am here to stay for as long as he wants me and to tell you the truth, whether you like it or not, I am here to stay and I am not going to budge at all until Ichigo says so."

Byakuya's profound voice makes a complete different impression this time. While Karin tenses even more, Yuzu almost has hearts in her eyes while Isshin suddenly gets to wail over again at Masaki's poster:

"Masaki, dearest Masaki. Our boy has finally grown up. Now I have my daughters to take care of, and when they find nice young men or women, I shall follow you, Masaki. Too soon I shall be left alone."

"No! I won't allow it!" Karin startles all of them. Her eyes throw fire and Byakuya is definitely her target. "I won't allow for this man to be part of the family. Never! Have you got that, Ichi-nii?" She stomps out of the room before anyone can react. Byakuya is the first one though and he simply puts his hand on Ichigo's thigh and simply nods. Ichigo feels like he might burst with all the love he feels for this man.

He gets up and goes after her, as she finally seems to relax on the bench in the garden. He sits next to her and he feels her body going tense again, but he knows that this is a discussion that he needs to have with his sister.

"What was that back there?" He finally asks but she just shrugs ignoring him. "I thought you are all right with me being gay." He mutters not sure how to break the silence between the two of them.

"I am." She sighs heavily. "But I'm not all right with you being gay for him, Ichi-nii." Karin finally looks at him with a deep frown.

"But he's the one that I love." Ichigo whispers back a little lost here because he doesn't know how to breach this subject. He thought that his family would accept Byakuya whole-heartedly. Apparently this isn't going to be so easy.

"I know, I know." Karin is frustrated. "But Ichi-nii, couldn't you have found someone else? Someone from this world?" He is dumbfounded, but she ignores his surprise. "How long does he plan to stay? How long will he stay here before he thinks this world is too damn boring for him? Until he thinks that you're not attractive anymore because you're too old?"

"Wow, Karin, way to make me stay positive on this." Ichigo scowls back.

"I see how you look at him, Ichi-nii." She ignores him again. "I see how your eyes light up with a new light when you look at him. I see how much you love him and how much you want this to be perfect, to work out. But you two are so different. God, can't you see? You're like the sun, Ichi-nii, you light up everything around you, you care about people, and you want to be better for them. You _are_ better. But he is like the moon, cold as her, incapable of feelings. He barely smiles, for crying out loud!"

"He has had a hard life, Karin, he wasn't like us. He didn't have a loving family. He didn't have someone to take care of him." Ichigo's heart is full of pain because his sister's acceptance is pretty important to him. "He was taught to hide his feelings, to never let go. You can't expect him to start being loving all of the sudden in front of people. And his wife died on him and he loved her very much and it still hurts him that he couldn't do anything for her."

"Ok, and now all of the sudden is gay for you?" Karin's harsh words make Ichigo recoil like he has been slapped. And he can see that his sister wants to take all the words back, but he isn't sure about how to react at the moment.

"I don't know if he is gay, bisexual or just straight with a sudden crush." This time his words are harsh. "I just know that he loves me, that he risks everything he has in Soul Society to stay here with me. I know that he risks everything on a man that might not remember him after his death, whenever that might be. He does all that because he loves me, of that I am sure, Karin." He inhales deeply trying to calm down that pain and the hurt that he feels inside because there are still some insecurities deep within his heart and his sister majorly takes them out at the moment. "Yes, he is cold and difficult at times, but never with me. Not since he came to live with me. And I need you to accept him, Karin, I need you to accept him in my life. Simply because he makes me happier than I have ever been."

"Was he the reason why you were moping around your senior year?" She asks in softer voice.

"Hey, I wasn't moping." One quick raised eyebrow and Ichigo backs down. "Yes, I thought I couldn't have this. It turns out that he is as oblivious as I am sometimes."

"Sometimes, Ichi-nii?" She smirks. "You're constantly oblivious." Her voice turns softer. "You really love him?"

"Yes."

"And does he love you back?"

"Yes. He wouldn't be here if he wouldn't. He is a man of honour."

"I just-" Karin's eyes suddenly glisten with unshed tears. "I just don't want to see you unhappy anymore, Ichi-nii. And if he leaves, you will be broken. I don't want to see you like that again, Ichi-nii. I love you too much. He has to take care of you, Ichi-nii. He has to love you and cherish you like you do with him."

"He already does, Karin." Ichigo replies gently and his sister throws herself in his arms because she doesn't want to let him see her tears. Ichigo smiles again as he keeps her soothingly in his arms. There are silent sobs between the two of them but he doesn't say anything and lets her be, knowing that he might have won a fight.

"Will you at least be civil with him?" He asks after she gained her composure again.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I like him, Ichi-nii. And if he hurts you, he'll deal with me. I hope you know that."

"Hey, I am not the girl in this story."

"Keep telling yourself that, Ichi-nii." Karin smirks again and gets her tongue out then walks away. Ichigo scowls back, but then he chuckles slowly yet relieved when she is finally out of sight.

He lets his head on the back and stares at the blue sky. He knows that there are more things yet to come but he somehow can tell that everything is going to be all right. And when Byakuya settles right next to him and holds his hand while smiling his secret smile, Ichigo knows that he is in love for eternity.

**oOo**

_A/N: You are awesome people and I hope you realize that. :D Thank you to all the you that have left a word in your reviews. Knowing that you love this pair as much as I do makes me dance happily on the outside shamelessly. And your ideas are really great and all of them will materialize, I promise. And a big thank you to all of you out there who read/ alert/ favorite this story. The idea of this chapter came for some time now but I was a little bit caught in the drama of these two lovely boys. Anyways hope you liked it. _


	15. Cohabitation: Small Moments in Life

**Disclaimer: **Kubo Tite owns _Bleach_ and everything related to it.

_**15. Cohabitation: Small Moments in Life**_

_These events take place along their relationship_

_**House Chores or How I show My Love by Cleaning up the Toilette **_

_**for CreotiaFlayier**_

"What?" Byakuya looks appalled at Ichigo and feels like this is not why he left Soul Society, but one look from Ichigo and he feels like he might drown in those warm brown eyes. But things are never that easy in his life. "I am most certainly not going to do that!"

"And who do you think is going to clean the bathroom?" Ichigo scowls at him. "It's not like we can hire a maid and do all the work for us."

"Then by all means, we shall do this." Byakuya feels his head shake in bewilderment. "I am not going to clean the bathroom but it feels like you shouldn't either. I can go to Soul Society and reassign one of my servants here."

"Byakuya, the apartment is small as it is for the both of us. Where will that servant sleep?"

"That should be a later concern. I will not clean this chamber and you won't either. Hold on while I go and –"

"Nothing." Ichigo scowls back. "You won't go to Soul Society and bring a servant of yours because I won't let you. How can this even cross your mind?"

"Ichigo, I haven't tended for my own needs for more than a hundred years." Byakuya's voice is pretty reasonable but from his lover's scowling, he's not so sure about it. "I have had servants tending to my every whim ever since I was little and if you think that all of the sudden you will make me tend to these chores, you are absolutely insane."

Ichigo sighs and for a moment he seems like he is tempted to throw a tantrum, but then his eyes get especially soft and Byakuya knows that he should have feared this moment because now Ichigo uses his kicked puppy eyes on him and that's not something to take lightly.

"I understand that you had a pampered life, Byakuya, but this is my life. And now yours because you want to share it with me." Those fascinating cinnamon eyes look at him with understanding and tenderness. "I am not going to lie to you, so I will admit that these chores might get tedious in time but when I become a full doctor and I start my practice at the hospital, I won't be able to do all this. I won't be able to keep up with everything. That's why I need you to understand me as well when I'm saying that you need to learn how to make all of this." His hand comes gently on Byakuya's cheek and the older man feels like melting.

"I don't want to be a burden to you." He whispers feeling that weird flip in his stomach every time Ichigo touches him. Ichigo smiles lovingly.

"You're not a burden to me. You'll never be one. But I want to stop thinking of bringing servants from Soul Society. I want you to start working together with me. What if something happens to me and I won't be able to do all these chores?"

Something settles in Byakuya's stomach and all of the sudden his arms have their own will as they enwrap Ichigo's waist and bring the young man's body a little closer.

"I don't want you to get hurt or anything."

"I know but I might get a cold or break a hand. I need to know that you'll be there for me."

"I will always be there for you." Byakuya presses his lips on those of his lover loving the taste of them, then he finally let's go. "Very well, then. Show me how we use this."

Ichigo starts laughing and his lover loves the sound of it. It always sounds like all the sappy things in this world combined, probably because he rarely hears Ichigo laugh and usually it's reserved only to him. Byakuya feels special like that, but he won't ever admit it, even under the penalty of death. But then all these nice thoughts go out of his mind as Ichigo shows to Byakuya how to use everything and although the nobleman is disgusted when he starts to clean the toilette, he feels pretty proud of himself when Ichigo smiles brilliantly at him and Byakuya thinks that this might actually not be that bad.

3….

2….

1…..

Who is he kidding? It's horrible and he thanks God that they divide the chores around the house and that he won't have to do this pretty soon. He really loves the orange light a little too much. A Kuchiki heir cleaning the bathroom? If this ever makes Soul Society, he will never hear the end of it.

**oOo**

_**The Warmth of Your Heart**_

_**For happygirl24**_

It is pouring outside and Ichigo forgot his umbrella at the hospital. Again. He has the bad feeling that Byakuya will make him regret this. At least his hoodie protects him from most of it. But he's soaked to the bone and he just hopes that he won't catch a cold. Since they moved in the new house, Ichigo is happier than ever and he feels like he walks on constant sunshine. Yes, the work at the hospital is tiresome and sometimes he feels emotionally drained by the cases that he has every day. But he likes the challenges and going back home to Byakuya feels even better.

He's just entered his street, when he sees it. It's right next to the fence of Ryoutarou-san's house. He doesn't know what it is at the beginning; it looks like a small ball of fur and that's all. Ichigo stops and takes a closer look. In the cold light of the streetlight he can't make a lot of it so he comes closer and closer until suddenly he hears a whimpering. It breaks his heart. It is so small and broken that Ichigo swallows the sudden lump in his throat and his hand slowly caresses the wet fur of what it's clearly a puppy. No more than a few weeks old, probably even less.

"Hey, little fella." Ichigo coos. "Where's your mom?" Brown eyes look at him with such sadness that they break Ichigo's heart all over again. "It's all right, it's ok. I am going to take you home with me. You can't stay in the rain like this. You might catch a cold."

He slowly takes the whimpering pup in his arms and makes it faster to his house. He can't stand the thought of leaving the small thing in the rain. On top of it all he hates the rain as it is. They always bring bad memories even after so many years have passed since then. He gets the puppy under the hoodie that he wears trying to protect him from the cold rain although he is soaked to the bone and he's not much of a protector either.

When he finally makes it in the house, he slowly closes the door behind him and breathing slowly he leans against the door. That's when he hears his husband's voice.

"Ichigo? Minako-san called. Again." Byakuya's eyes rage in tempest and Ichigo would like to smile reassuringly if he wasn't so tired and soaked to the bones. "You forgot your umbrella. Again." The voice is carefully flat but he knows better than to be fooled by this. This is the calm before the storm. And he knows that he should play this right and possibly not angry his husband but he is not sure that he's going to make it taking into consideration the circumstances.

"But I had the hoodie. I am fine." Ichigo smiles a little tiredly and closes his eyes.

"If you are fine, why are you leaning against the door? And for that matter why are cradling your arm? Are you injured?" Byakuya's voice makes him open his eyes just in time to see him in his personal space with that storm raging on in his grey eyes, a storm drowning everything in concern. He is so beautiful like that that Ichigo can't help himself and reaches for his cheek and lets his thumb caress the skin. He sees how Byakuya is startled by his action. It's still hard for the nobleman to accept the fact that he is loved and cherished back, that it's not unidirectional. His frown relents a bit and Ichigo smiles softly at him as he takes his hand back.

"I'm just tired. I had a long day and my mind was somewhere else. That's why I forgot the umbrella. Promise I will try not to make it happen again." He sighs contently when the frown from his husband's face disappears. "And the reason I cradle my arm like this is because I found something on my way back."

"What do you mean?"

Ichigo opens the hoodie just in time for the small bundle of fur to open its eyes and look at both of them with probably the most begging eyes in the history of puppy eyes. Byakuya is surprised again but this time he doesn't seem like he wants to kick Ichigo's ass so that's definitely an improvement.

"Where did you find him?"

"Next to Ryoutarou-san's house. It is really cold outside, Byakuya. I couldn't abandon him there." Ichigo isn't aware that he probably wears the same pathetic look on his face like the puppy, but Byakuya seems clearly amused by the fact that his husband resembles so much to the puppy that he holds so carefully.

"You know that we can't keep him." Byakuya carefully whispers as he gently caresses the small pup with a finger. "Between our busy schedules, it would be almost a cruelty to keep this puppy with us. He wouldn't have the happy life that he deserves."

"I am not abandoning him and I'm not taking him to some animal shelter." Ichigo scowls and all of the sudden he straightens his composure. Byakuya smiles softly at him knowing the effect that it would have on his husband. He is not mistaken but almost immediately Ichigo relaxes again.

"I didn't say that you have to abandon him. I think that the best would probably be to give him to your sister Yuzu. You know how much she loves dogs and she has a really nice schedule. I think she would be the best to keep him."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Ichigo blushes a little bit at hearing his husband's soothing voice. "Yes, you're right. It's the best decision. But could we at least keep him for the night?"

"I don't see why not." Byakuya carefully takes the puppy in his arms cradling with such care that Ichigo's heart stutters a little bit. "I have an idea: why do you know go change your clothes and have a hot shower so you won't catch a cold, while I take care of him?"

"Are you sure you're going to be all right?" Ichigo asks more as a formality because he is sure that his husband won't mind to do that for him.

"Yes, go. Me and the puppy are going to wait for you."

"I don't know which one of you is more adorable." Ichigo coos again as he kisses his husband's cheek and makes his way for the bedroom.

"I know that you just didn't call me 'adorable'." Byakuya splutters hearing the soft laugh of his husband.

"You keep telling that to yourself, old man." His voice resounds in the warm house and Byakuya rolls his eyes going into the living room.

"I really don't understand how I still manage to not get annoyed so much by this annoying brat. I swear to you that he gets cheekier and cheekier as days go by." The puppy looks at him with soft eyes and Byakuya thinks for a moment that he has gone insane. He surely isn't speaking with a dog about Ichigo's pratiness. Although maybe he should. At least there wouldn't be any disagreement from his part.

He opens the linen closet and gets a soft towel wrapping it around the small body trying to keep it warm while his husband takes that shower. It feels strange to keep in his arms such a small life, so insignificant for some, so important for others. He loves the fact that Ichigo does such gestures because it always shows the immensity of the goodness that resides in his heart and he wants to protect that goodness as much as he can.

He doesn't realize when he starts caressing the small body but he begins to become conscious by the fact that the trembling has stopped and the puppy doesn't whimper anymore. He smells horrible though and probably will need a bath and some food into his small belly but for now he feels content just to watch him sleepily looking at Byakuya. If he didn't know any better, he could say that the puppy has the same warm eyes as his lover.

"I think you should wash him", he says softly raising his eyes towards Ichigo who smiles nicely at him. He has changed into a white t-shirt and some sweat pants and he feels all warm and fuzzy that Byakuya shudders under the burden of an aching need in his body to go and cuddle with the love of his life. Maybe this puppy has an effect on people, making them sappier than they usually are.

"I think so too." Ichigo comes closer and takes the puppy while kissing Byakuya's lips. "What about you?"

"I will go and see if we have something in this house which he would like to eat."

"Ok, we will be in the bathroom. Join us when you finish."

"All right."

Ten minutes later, Byakuya has found a small bowl and some milk and he thinks that it should be enough for tonight. Next morning he should go and buy some dog food before giving the puppy to Yuzu. He can hear the soft laughing on his husband and gentle murmurs while every once in a while there's a yapping sound, almost like a bark but not much. He secretly smiles and thinks that no matter how much he scowls, Ichigo is such a big softie.

"We are ready to eat." Ichigo exclaims as he enters in the kitchen cradling the now fully awake puppy in his arms. His hair is sticking in all directions and his t-shirt is wet, but he hasn't seen him so relaxed in days so the puppy can stay for all he cares, if that's the effect that he has on Ichigo.

"I can see that." Byakuya observes wryly. "I don't know who won the battle of the wills, you or the puppy because by the looks of it you are as wet as he is."

"I'll let you know that I was the winner after all." Ichigo blushes adorably as Byakuya raises an eyebrow. "And just so you know, we have consumed half of your shampoo."

"Ichigo, don't blame the doggie. This is all on you. And I am not so sure about your win, but never mind that. Let's feed him now."

Ichigo rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything. He knows better. He lets the puppy out of his arms and he immediately goes to the bowl of milk. He eats everything and afterwards Ichigo plays with it on the floor while Byakuya reads a book recommended by one of his colleagues. Actually he can't read much because his lover is most distracting. Ichigo tries to teach the puppy some tricks but it's not working so well. In the end he just wrestles with him and rolls with him and just generally being a gigantic child.

Byakuya smiles softly at the scene. Ichigo hasn't had much of a childhood after the death of his mother and Byakuya believes that he still misses some of the things that generally what he should have done at different ages. Instead he was forced to mature before his time and by the time he was 16 he was already fighting to save his family and then the world. He likes the way the puppy licks his husband's face while Ichigo smiles as if he is surprised to receive such proofs of love. Sometimes Byakuya wonders if the too early growing of Ichigo hasn't come with the conviction that he shouldn't be loved, that he didn't deserve to be loved. He is so much surprised to see the loyalty and love of his friends and Byakuya most of all that sometimes he just clamps up and doesn't say anything.

It's too early to go to bed and yet he can see that both Ichigo and the puppy are exhausted and so he makes the suggestion to go to bed.

"You're coming too, right?" Ichigo yawns rubbing at his eyes like a toddler. Seriously he's too adorable for his own good.

"I'll be there in a minute. I'm just going to check that all the lights are out and everything is closed."

"Ok, we'll be waiting for you." Ichigo gives him a peck and then goes upstairs towards their bedroom.

By the time Byakuya finishes and changes into some well worn t-shirt and sweats, his husband is fast asleep, snuggling towards the place where Byakuya should be. The puppy rests next to him on a fluffy blanket that Rukia bought it for them for the cold autumn days. Byakuya smiles again, as he finally gets under the covers. Almost immediately Ichigo comes closer to him, resting his cheek next to his shoulder while an arm snakes around his waist. The puppy breathes slowly and his husband smiles contently. Byakuya smiles as well in the darkness of the room. Maybe they should keep the puppy for the weekend and then give it to Yuzu. It seems like his family keeps growing and he doesn't mind that at all. He kisses Ichigo's head and slowly caresses the puppy then cuddles next to his husband and finally falls sleep feeling extremely protected in that room which smells a lot like love.

**oOo**

_**Laundry Day**_

_**For ronney-girl**_

It takes an incredibly huge amount of will power to make Byakuya do house work in the beginning. It's not that his husband is not willing to make them or take responsibility for them. It's more like he hasn't been used to them and this becomes incredibly difficult as time goes by. Ichigo knows that he has to tech him everything and most of the times it works, though Byakuya still grumbles and sometimes he wants to kill his husband. But most of the time they communicate well enough to know when one of them is not in the mood for house chores.

But as time goes by Ichigo discovers that his husband is inclined towards certain things in their common life. For instance he likes to cook and Ichigo is definitely all for that. Once Byakuya has managed to take a grip of what it is to use modern appliances, he takes cooking like a second art and Ichigo feels blessed and happy. On the other hand he is a bit anal retentive so he takes care of the cleaning. He likes to make everything fall into place and once they move in the new house, the new acquired space makes Ichigo feel better than he had in a very long time. There is finally space for the huge amounts of books that Byakuya keeps acquiring, for his medicine magazines and journals, for their clothes and their photos and generally their life together. They cane share a lot of things together now, they don't have the same crammed space like in the apartment. But what Ichigo loves the most is the fact that they have a laundry room now, fully stocked with modern appliances, washing machines and the likes of it and more often than not he is the one that ends up doing the laundry. It's the only thing that makes him not complain to Byakuya.

Which is why one Saturday morning Ichigo decides that it's time to do the laundry, not that he doesn't feel compelled by the huge amount of dirty clothes that they have. The last two weeks he has lived more at the hospital while his husband has been away on several conferences. Between that and being totally exhausted they had no free time to spare for such mundane tasks. But now that they have a couple of free days at their hands, they decided that firstly they should recuperate on their house chores.

"That's it? Is there anything else that you might want to have washed?" Ichigo asks his husband as he carries the last bundle down stairs. He is dressed in some shorts and a ragged t-shirt.

"Yes, that's it. I'm going to start cooking us some lunch." Byakuya kisses him slowly like he makes him a promise of better days. Last night they have slept like rocks and for the past two weeks they have been to exhausted for any other action to happen in their bedroom.

"Sounds good." Ichigo murmurs softly after they come out for air. Byakuya pecks him again gently on the lips and then lets him go.

The thing is Ichigo also loves the laundry room because it has a window that gives in their garden. It's well lit and he can always read while he's doing some laundry to lazy to come and check it especially if Byakuya is at home. His husband has bought for him a shelf on which always rest some medicine journals or some comics that Ichigo likes to read. Sometimes he wonders when his husbands finds the time to surprise him like this, especially since Byakuya isn't a big fan of doing laundry, but he never gets an answer and he is too smart to question this.

He just put the first pack of clothes in the dryer while the second one goes into their washing machine when he husband comes to see what he is doing. Ichigo smiles.

"Well, that's a nice surprise. How come you have decided to join me here?"

"I have finished cooking lunch." Byakuya smiles back. "How are you on the washing thing?"

"It's going well. Soon we will have clean clothes again. At the rate we were going, we were about to walk around the house naked."

"I wouldn't have minded that." Byakuya's voice becomes more profound and there's a burning lust into his eyes that wasn't there a moment ago.

"I am sure you wouldn't." Ichigo smirks and his husband comes closer. Just like him, Byakuya wears a t-shirt and some shorts and his hair is tied behind and he looks so much younger and softer. His strong arms come around Ichigo, pulling him closer towards his body and they both groan in pleasure when their bodies are flushed against each other's. Slowly Byakuya nuzzles Ichigo's neck sending shivers down his husband's spine. He slowly kisses his jaw until his lips finally rest on Ichigo's lips and the young man opens up quickly tasting everything that makes Byakuya his. Their kiss turns hungry for each other, a battle of tongues and dominance, of body responding to each other's needs, and Ichigo feels hungry for his husband's touch and thirsty for his kisses.

"God, I missed you so much these days." Ichigo groans when Byakuya finally lets him go just enough to pull his and Ichigo's shirts away. He whimpers with need when his husband manhandles him and seats him on the washing machine, tasting everything like he hasn't done this in ages, like he wants to remember everything about Ichigo's body.

"I've missed you too." Byakuya's warm breath caresses his neck. "So, so much." He nips at the tanned skin and then licks it and every coherent thought that he might have had gets lost because Byakuya's really talented with his tongue and Ichigo appreciates too much the touches of his husband combined with the vibrations under his body to say anything else. The last thing that crosses his mind is that he needs to make his husband come and do the laundry more often with him.

He doesn't know how debouched they look as they make love while the light of the sun penetrating in the small room caresses their skin. He doesn't see the wonder in Byakuya's eyes as he slowly passes his elegant fingers through his hair, how the tips of his hair glitter in the sun and he clearly doesn't see how his own eyes open in startling love when he feels Byakuya looking at him with reverent grey eyes. And he doesn't smell the love that fills the room because that smell has always accompanied him since Byakuya came into his life. He's just aware of his husband and nothing else. Because after all Byakuya is everything and so much more. And his mind screams Byakuya's name as pleasure burns his synapses and drowns him in a sea of love.

**oOo**

_A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long but I've been having the cold from hell and it took me a lot to get on my feet. Anyways this is the first part from the promised stories for my readers. God, I really hope that I didn't disappoint you. Did I mention I had a cold? *__blushes really hard*__ I have two more stories to finish but they have taken longer and so they will be posted really soon. Promise. In the mean time, as always I thank you for reading my story. _


	16. Cohabitation:The Ultimate Nefarious Plan

**Disclaimer: **_Bleach_ belongs to Kubo Tite. Everybody knows that.

_**16. Cohabitation: The Ultimate Nefarious Plan**_

_**For Byakuya-Sensei**_

_Three months after the car accident_

Ichigo looks at his husband with an anguished look on his face. Byakuya is concentrating on some papers that his students had to do as part of their final exam grade, but it seems like he is unable to do much. He is very pale and there are dark shadows under his eyes. He hasn't been eating well for the couple of days now and Ichigo feels worse. It must be his fault. For the past three months his husband has been catering to Ichigo's every whim. It has been hard for him to do his work as a professor and take Ichigo to physiotherapy, do all the housework and on top of it all deal with Ichigo's mood swings.

Ichigo chews on his lip not sure how to proceed or what to say. It's true that his leg is still recovering, the surgeries have been a success but he still has a long way to go and it seems like this has taken a toll not only on him, but on his husband as well.

Ichigo shifts on the couch to release some of the tension from his leg. The movement makes Byakuya look up almost immediately. His grey eyes hold tinges of anguish and exhaustion and Ichigo feels guiltier and guiltier.

"Are you in pain?" His husband asks in a hushed voice and Ichigo feels that tug of guilt again.

"I'm fine." Ichigo tries to smile reassuringly but he doesn't think he succeeds because his husband keeps his frown. That jet-black hair rests on the broad shoulders but its stark color makes the paleness of the face be even more obvious.

"I've heard that one before." The wry smile makes Ichigo look even guiltier. Truth be told, he hasn't taken lightly being incapacitated and depending so much on his husband for even the most mundane tasks. But nevertheless he feels much better now and he thinks that maybe it's time that he starts being a man again.

"I really am fine." Ichigo whispers gently and Byakuya's grey eyes widen a little bit but then they soften. He even smiles tiredly.

"Glad to hear that."

Ichigo feels that tug of guilt again. For the past three months Byakuya has been everything for him and he feels humbled by the love that has penetrated into his life because of this proud man. After he broke because of feeling useless, Byakuya has tried to give him as much space as he needed. And Ichigo appreciated this, but the terrible days of physiotherapy left him without any type of energy and more often than not in pain. The excruciating pain in his leg made him become terrible morose so most of the times he would stare out on the window at the beautiful day outside. But his husband would never relent and most of the times he made him feel better. Tender hands would massage his tensed muscles and by the end of the day he would become a puddle of goo into his husband's hands.

But know looking back at Byakuya, Ichigo feels like he has become obliviously selfish towards his husband. He has failed to notice that it has become increasingly difficult for Byakuya to manage everything within their small family. Juggling with his job and Ichigo's rehabilitation has taken a toll on him.

Byakuya tries again to concentrate on the papers and this time Ichigo has more time to notice the subtle differences that mark his husband's composure. Byakuya wears a ratty t-shirt and some grey sweats in which he looks incredibly comfortable. But his grey eyes look tired and his face is really pale and those dark smudges bother Ichigo more than anything. All of the sudden he feels like he must do something for Byakuya.

"Are those papers urgent?" Ichigo asks quietly and Byakuya looks again at him this time at least trying to hide his concern. He's not making a very good job at it but at least he's trying. For Ichigo's sake. Seriously it's impossible not to love this man.

"No, they are not. I still have a few days at my disposal to correct them. Why? Is there something wrong?"

"No, it's not, but could you maybe come and sit next to me?" Ichigo smiles a little shyly. "I miss my husband." He plays the right card. He knows that voicing any concern for his health would fall on deaf ears, but one quick look at Ichigo and Byakuya leaves the papers on his desk and moves gracefully towards Ichigo. He settles gently next to him and takes his hand.

"I've been right here." Byakuya whispers as if he doesn't want to break any magic between the two of them and Ichigo's chest tightens when he hears the words.

"I know." He smiles full of love although he feels choked up on emotion. "At times I can't believe that you are still here." Ichigo slowly reaches out with his hand and tenderly caresses Byakuya's face. The movement startles his husband but because he is Ichigo, he is allowed to do anything. So he doesn't shy away and Ichigo quickly moves his fingers through the soft black hair and Byakuya closes his eyes because there's so much love in that caress that he feels overwhelmed by it.

"I want to go to bed early tonight and you have to come with me." Ichigo finally says in a decisive voice and Byakuya opens his eyes again. Ichigo pulls him closer and finally kisses those cherished lips. It's not a very intense kiss and it certainly doesn't hold the pant up tension between the two of them but it makes Byakuya agree with the plan and make Ichigo smile in victory.

He watches his husband changing into some pajama pants and a t-shirt and he thinks that he has never thought he could have this, he has never thought that one day this is going to be all normal to him. He smiles again at Byakuya as his husband brushes his teeth and there is confusion in his eyes but Ichigo can't feel in his heart the power to explain to him what he is feeling at the moment. Byakuya would probably feel guilty for making him worry and this isn't what Ichigo wants after all.

They go to sleep, cuddling around each other, Byakuya careful not to hurt his husband. One hand rests over Ichigo's heart though, as if to make sure that it is still beating, that Ichigo is still there for him. The older man quickly falls to sleep but Ichigo can't. He listens to Byakuya's slow breaths and he can feel that his husband can't relax, not even in his sleep always ready to be at Ichigo's side in case the nightmares come back, in case something goes wrong and Ichigo's health goes down the drain in an unexpected manner. Ichigo wonders for the very first time when his husband has stopped thinking about himself even for a little bit. It seems like his entire existence has been wrapped up all of the sudden around Ichigo and now it is chocking them both because while Byakuya wants to do everything by himself, Ichigo can't heal fast enough, can't be strong enough, and he wants to take that pain that is there. Yes, he has suffered a lot through the accident and what came afterwards but he thinks that maybe it is Byakuya who has suffered more.

Ichigo looks at his husband and the handsome face is still covered by a small frown, as if he expects something bad to happen any second now and he has to be prepared. The raven hair falls partially over his face giving him a sort of brooding air that wasn't there before the accident, before everything was messed up. Ichigo feels compelled to pass his fingers through the hair. It takes more than a couple of caresses but then Byakuya shuffles closely with an air of vulnerability around him that wasn't there before. Ichigo smiles a little and continues to stroke Byakuya's hair until the frown disappears, until the posture relaxes a little bit and until brilliant ideas start to pop into his head, making him giddy with expectations and promises that he might find new solutions to help Byakuya.

He doesn't fall asleep for a very long time and when he does, he has already decided what he wants to do, starting with that very morning.

He wakes up earlier than ever before. Ichigo smiles a little mischievously. He started to love sleeping late after he moved into his own apartment and a little away from his father's original methods to keep him fit and alert. But he is thankful at the moment for that treatment because even with his leg still in a casket he can move around very well and without much noise. He washes his faces and brushes his teeth quietly and gets down stairs with almost no sound. Operation "Loosen up, Byakuya" or "How not to make his husband's life a miserable hell" is about to start.

Firstly with a fresh cup of coffee. While Ichigo is addicted to coffee for completely practical reasons (the full hours at the hospital, long nights drown in passion when his husband feels more than a little possessive), Byakuya is addicted to "the brew of gods", yes, this is how he calls it for none other than pure hedonistic reasons. On top of it all he likes to drink it by making an entire ritual out of it. He drinks it black and it has to be in a specific cup (which Ichigo firstly bought for him – it's a silly mug, but his husband adores it and treasures it as if it's made of gold; it makes Ichigo blush every time because he knows what type of life his husband is accustomed to, and yet he finds pleasure in such a silly mug with a green little man drawn on it).

While the coffee is brewing, he must prepare breakfast. He knows that Byakuya likes a healthy breakfast because most of the times he doesn't have time to enjoy food during the day. Then it's the turn for the phone calls. It's the weekend and he knows that it might be a little too early for some of his friends, but because it is he and he rarely calls them to asking favors they will be more than happy to answer him and talk to him. Ten minutes later, he already made Tatsuki agree to take him to physiotherapy (she has been rather enthusiastic about the proposition), while his sister Yuzu will come and help him with the chores around the house twice a week.

Operation "Make Byakuya smile like a loon" is on his way. So he constantly changes the names of the operation, so sue him. It's his theatre of operations after all, he can do whatever it pleases his soul.

"Ichigo." The tensed whisper of his name makes him turn around and what he sees, well, let's just say that he doesn't like it one bit. "What are you doing?" The harshness of the question is deepened by the frown that has settled again on his face and seriously, how long does he have to endure this?

"I'm preparing breakfast." Ichigo answers lightly, trying to defuse the tension that has suddenly settled in the small kitchen.

"You should have woken me up if you were hungry." Byakuya's tensed posture relaxes a little bit, although not in the way Ichigo wants it.

"I am perfectly capable of preparing breakfast for me and my husband, as you can see." Ichigo smiles to take away the harshness of his own words and it seems that only then does Byakuya realize that the table is settled and that his coffee is ready to be drunk in complete ecstasy.

"I know you are capable of managing the breakfast, Ichigo. I just thought that… when I didn't see you in bed for a moment…" He lets the sentence unfinished but Ichigo knows very well that have settled into Byakuya's heart. It's _I thought you were gone _and_ I couldn't do anything _and_ you weren't mine anymore and I wasn't yours_ _anymore_. The accident has damaged their relationship somehow. It has made them both more than a little bit aware of the fact that Ichigo is a mere mortal after all. And one day they will have to face his death.

Ichigo knows that there's just one thing he can do, so he gets closer to his husband and kisses him slightly on his lips. He smiles softly and whispers lovingly:

"I'm here. I won't leave you alone. Promised you eternity, remember?" Grey orbs soften more and more until elegant fingers cup his face and Byakuya kisses him softly again.

"And you keep your promises." He murmurs.

"I always keep my promises." Ichigo smirks and Byakuya can't do anything but roll his eyes a little bit, which is more like him and that's definitely a great step for Operation "Remove gloomy Byakuya and replace him with fun sexy Byakuya" (remember, not a word about it!). "Now please, have a seat and let me take care of you for once."

"Hmm, this is you taking care of me?" Byakuya sounds a little bit surprised. While Ichigo is always somehow shocked that his husband hasn't left him yet, Byakuya always sounds surprise when Ichigo does things only for him.

"Hey, I even got out your favorite mug. Appreciate the effort and sit your ass down."

"Disrespectful brat."

"You love me!" Ichigo replies back and when he sees a small but genuine smile of his husband's face, he thinks that Operation "Smiley Byakuya" is on his way (don't ask where the names come from; it's just better that you don't; the nefarious names elude him). He is just about to bring the coffee when he sees that his husband has left his comfortable position at the table to bring the cups of coffee at the table and this small gesture enrages him so much that he sees red before his eyes.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Ichigo yells and Byakuya freezes in a half movement to bring the cups on the table again. Ichigo hates the look that he had put on his husband's face at the moment but this is more than he can take it so he has to say what's on his mind before he explodes with worry and feeling useless and hurting Byakuya. "For the past three months you have been taking care of me and there's going to be more to come. For the past three months you have been nothing but kind and gentle to me and for once, _just for once_ I wish you would let me do something for you as well." Ichigo tightens his hold on the counter. "I am not used to be so important to someone. I am not used to being someone's first choice. But now here I am, with you willing to do anything for me. And I want you to let me do this on my own and listen to what I say without you saying anything in return. Got it?"

Byakuya's back to his frowny look (great, Ichigo is a failure; he should just abandon his hope of ever becoming a nefarious genius and move along with his life – also where are these words coming from anyways?), but he respects Ichigo too much so he sits at the table with a thoughtful look. Ichigo wobbles with the pot of coffee but he makes it without a single drop on the floor, which he considers a personal victory and pours the magical brew into the cups, then a little more than tired sits at the table in front of his husband and says seriously:

"Starting Monday morning, Tatsuki will take me to physiotherapy and Yuzu will be the one to help me with the chores around the house. It's time for you to start taking care of yourself again and your work. And one more thing: you will stop looking at me like I might disappear any moment now or break. I know that I have behaved like a spoilt brat for the last couple of months and I am sorry for this, but I am back at being my usual annoying self and you can stop worrying."

"And you have taken all these decisions without even consulting me?" Byakuya's face is suddenly blank and Ichigo is suddenly not as confident in his plan as he was before, but he has to stick to it.

"When have I ever been good at consulting people? Would you rather have me blackmailing you?"

"Blackmailing me?" Now there's a flicker of emotion in those grey eyes again and that's a good sign. Ichigo's voice is gentler when he continues:

"Should I rather tell you how worried I am about you? About the fact that you are exhausted? That you try to burn yourself out? Should I tell you how guilty I feel when I see you like this or how horrible I feel because I have been a miserable shit with you since getting out of the hospital?" Yeah, pulling the greatest weakness that Byakuya has is definitely a good thing, because Ichigo knows all to well that he has always been Byakuya's greatest weakness. "It's the best solution and you know it. It's time that both of us accepted the truth. Please."

Byakuya takes his hand and keeps it under his as the silence stretches for a couple of more moments before he sighs heavily:

"I hope you haven't put any sugar in my coffee." It's the best agreement he will have and Ichigo takes it as the yes he has been waiting for because he knows that at the end of the day Byakuya will always do whatever pleases Ichigo.

"Seriously, would I ever commit such a terrible sin?" Ichigo rolls his eyes as Byakuya drinks his black drug and sighs contently.

"What else have you planned for today?"

"I never plan." Ichigo tries to smile innocently, but it's not working.

"Ichigo…"

"Sleeping a lot and maybe fooling around if you feel like it." Ichigo smiles cheekily again but this time Byakuya smiles back. They eat in companionable silence and then they both take care of the dirty dishes. Ichigo is putting the last cup on the counter when Byakuya grounds against him caging him effectively against the counter. He can feel his husband's hot breath on his neck.

"Maybe we should get to that fooling around part before sleeping." Byakuya whispers seductively and seriously how can anyone resist that gravely voice? It makes Ichigo's stomach flutter in the most delicious expectation.

"I think that I can do that. This weekend is about taking care of you anyways."

Byakuya flushes their bodies together and when Ichigo feels his husband's desire, he groans in pleasure. Carefully Byakuya turns him around and kisses him possessively taking his breath away and wiping his nefarious plans effectively out of his mind. And if they spend that Saturday mostly getting reacquainted with each other's bodies and then with Ichigo watching Byakuya sleep, tracing his beautiful features, no one needs to know.

**oOo**

_A/N: My cold returned with a vengeance, so I am really late with these promised stories for the ones that gave me ideas. But I am proud to say I have only one more to complete (Kyuu90, it's almost finished, sweetie, I promise I haven't forgotten about you). In the mean time thank you to my awesome reviewers for their enthusiasm for this story, because you really keep me going, people and it's nice to know what I do right and what I can improve. And a big thank you to all of you who alerted/ favorited this story. And all of you out there reading this, yes, you definitely have my appreciation as well. _


	17. Cohabitation: First Date

**Disclaimer: **_Bleach_ belongs to Kubo Tite. I'm just offering these two guys a chance to be together.

_**Cohabitation - First Date**_

_**For Kyuu90**_

_About one year after Byakuya came to Karakura_

"What exactly is a date?" Byakuya's voice startles Ichigo. His lover is on the couch reading some medicine magazines while munching something. On the other hand, Byakuya is busy correcting some essays of his students. He wishes he could concentrate on his task at hand but it's impossible when his lover is so close to him. Ichigo is mildly distracting when he seems so lost in his world.

Cinnamon eyes look back at him with surprise and affection. This is always happening when Byakuya asks a question regarding the human life.

"A date? How come you're interested in this?" Ichigo finally asks as if he is trying to buy some time and Byakuya feels somehow confused. Is it a bad thing to be asking about this?

"My students had to write a story about two characters involved in a relationship. The one that I am currently reading talks about two people going to a date. I think I should be familiar with the concept in order to judge the quality of this paper." His words make Ichigo smile wider at him as if he is amused by a secret thought. Byakuya feels drawn to that smile every single time for it speaks of affection and care.

"I see. Well, a date is when two people want to know each other better before engaging into a relationship." Ichigo leaves the magazine on the small coffee table and thinks a little more before continuing. "Usually the ritual of a first date isn't as complicated as you might think. Two people meet at a certain place, they have lunch or dinner, they go to see a movie or something and then one takes the other at home. If it is a very good date, they establish something for the next time and might even kiss. The first date is always the most important one because the first impression counts the most."

"But your first impression of me must have been completely terrible." Byakuya argues. "You thought that I am a heartless bastard that wants to kill his sister. I almost let you die in that alley."

"Well, back then you must admit it wasn't far from the truth." Ichigo smirks. "But I thought that you were a little confused and someone had to set your priorities straight."

"And you were the right person to do this." In spite of this, Byakuya finds himself smiling at his lover and Ichigo beams at him. He knows how different he seems to Ichigo when he smiles like this, without a care in the world, without thinking that no one will notice this or care about this because they are alone in their own little bubble and Byakuya feels like he might burst owith all the things unsaid.

"Of course." The proud smile on Ichigo's lips makes Byakuya just get up from his desk and go and kiss it away. Taste that smile right from those tempting lips. Delicious as ever, with that unique flavor which is entirely Ichigo. His young lover moans a little in pleasure before they finally break to breathe. Byakuya looks back in those cinnamon eyes, which still look at him in surprise, as if the orange haired young man can't believe that he is there, with him. A problem that he should solve later on in their relationship. However he still needs some ideas as to how dates work.

"So if I understand correctly any relationship begins with a date." When Ichigo nods, he feels compelled to continue: "Have we ever been on a date?"

Now his lover seems really embarrassed. He sighs a little even.

"Well, no, we didn't have a date specifically. I mean, we went out and had fun but never for the purpose of having a date."

"Would you like to go to one?" Byakuya knows that he is too blunt with his questions, but sometimes getting out the truth from Ichigo is really hard, so the straight questions are the best. His younger lover is a little anxious because he slowly bites his bottom lip and Byakuya is amazed by the fact that he knows how that lip tastes. His lover even blushes a little bit under his scrutiny as if he is able to read minds.

"Yes, I would like to go ... Someday...I mean if you want to as well, of course." Ichigo is adorable when he gets so flustered and Byakuya smirks a little bit. Yes, most definitely his lover wants to go on a date. He kisses Ichigo one last time, before he returns to the essays at hand, although he feels Ichigo's eyes on him every now and then.

Still there are various unknowns in this equation. The first one and perhaps the most basic one is the fact that he doesn't know what a date actually means. He wants to offer Ichigo the best experience because this is still so new to him and Ichigo has had so much patience with him. Everything at the beginning of this relationship has been so blunt. The words, the actions. Yes, he knows that a man is not the same as a woman, that what he lived with Hisana is very different from what he experiences with Ichigo not only in the depth of the feelings, but also in the intensity of every little thing that they experience together. Nonetheless even Ichigo needs a little bit of loving in a more tender way. He wants to offer him what is best.

Byakuya discovers with each passing day that there's a hidden desire to protect Ichigo like he has been protecting all the people around them, but even more importantly he wants to offer everything, at the best level, for his pride and his honor are now related to this incredible orange haired man. So because Ichigo deserves the best, Byakuya is ready to face the most painful journey of them all: to discover how a date works. And he starts with Renji.

Worst decision _ever_.

And he _never_ takes bad decisions.

He is actually shocked that his sister has spent so much time with the red haired idiot. His lieutenant is brash and has no sense of propriety whatsoever. He talks about things that Byakuya doesn't understand and he makes him watch cheap movies that blind Byakuya with their cheesiness and cheap lines and by the end of them all, he wishes he could brainwash himself and forget the entire experience. Of course his sister has the patience of a saint if she can endure such crassness from her boyfriend (on the other hand he will remember this for future reference when the man will come to ask for Rukia's hand; there will be hell to pay for this, that's for sure).

Not surprisingly, it is his sister that tries to help him in a somehow useful manner. She looks at him with a gentle smile.

"What made you think of a date, nii-sama?"

"Ichigo wants to go on a date." He replies clearly as if it is the most natural thing in this world, Ichigo's needs being primordial to anything else. The softness of Rukia's smile grows when she hears his words. There's a special smile lingering on her lips when she speaks to the two of them or about them and sometimes Byakuya feels the need to question her, but then the magic would disappear so he keeps it to himself.

"With all due respect, nii-sama, I think you should take Ichigo to whatever he likes to do. Yes, a dinner would be nice, but after or before this is all up to you. The important part is for him to feel good and relaxed in your company. Nothing else matters at the end of it all."

Byakuya feels a little lost, because he would like to know more about the etiquette and the proper things to do and the mechanics of the entire process, the complicated facets of what it means to make Ichigo feel good outside of the bed. It puts everything on a whole new perspective. Again he didn't have much experience because with Hisana things have been different, while his other lovers matter little now. There were no feelings involved back then, there were no implications. Love before Hisana had been an abstract notion that had no reality in his life. He had been too preoccupied with making his grandfather proud, with his family's interest, with everything involving anything outside his life.

Love after meeting Hisana had been different. Suddenly it wasn't an abstract concept anymore and for the first time Byakuya found himself in the position of not knowing anything about it. Perhaps to a certain extent he had been completely naïve in the matter and he had married her, even when he had seen that his feelings didn't reach her. And after her death, love became abstract all over again.

But now… now the story is so different. When he looks into Ichigo's cinnamon eyes, he feels that love as a concept has taken an entire different meaning from what he knew before. He finds difficult to pinpoint the moment when his heart decided not to beat anymore without Ichigo's smile, without Ichigo's voice, without his words or his laugh or his love. But now that he has this, in spite of so many obstacles, in spite of so many sacrifices, he wants to have everything and to offer everything. He has never been with half measures.

So because he wants to offer Ichigo a perfect first date, he does the incredible, the _unthinkable_ and finds himself one morning before going to university in front of Urahara's shop. In spite of being offered a position back in the Gotei, the former captain decided to stick around in the human world with his Yoruichi, the Demon Woman.

"Oh, well, if it isn't my favorite student!" Yoruichi exclaims as soon as she sees him and Byakuya would roll his eyes (Ichigo's influence on him), if he wasn't so well educated. "Come in, come in, I want to hear all about it. How's it like in the human world? How do you like living with Ichigo? Everything."

"These are no concerns of yours, demon woman." Byakuya replies even though he still enters the house and takes a seat in the well-lit living room. The morning sun makes everything look so comfortable and he tries to ignore the malevolent smile that covers Yoruichi's lips. "What is it?"

"I have never seen you so relaxed in my entire life." She winks at him leering. "I bet that Ichigo is more than responsible for removing that stick that was so far up your ass." Byakuya tenses because in spite of being a lot friendlier that he used to be, this is still too much for him. As he is just about to rise and leave without another word, Urahara enters the living room with a teapot.

"Dearest, I really don't think that Kuchiki-san came to us to listen to you laughing at him." He smiles in a friendly way and Byakuya's posture relaxes a little bit.

"I was just teasing him and it's not like I said a lie." Although she's pouting, Yoruichi comments no further and Byakuya relaxes even more as he finally takes the cup of tea.

"Is there anything we can do for you, Kuchiki-san?" Urahara asks in a kind voice as he settles next to Yoruichi. Byakuya takes a short deep breath and looks deep into their eyes as he finally manages to say in a thankfully bland tone:

"I have been made aware that on Earth there's the tradition of something which is called 'first date' and I need information regarding the entire process and which would be the best manner in which I could make Ichigo feel better at such a date."

Yoruichi almost spits her tea. The woman is really vulgar sometimes and Byakuya thinks that she and Urahara really do make a fine couple with their lack of manners and their ability to mock people. Surprisingly it is Urahara-san that becomes unbelievably serious and asks in a quiet voice:

"You are really serious in your intentions towards Ichigo?"

"Disregarding your lack of authority over me or Ichigo and therefore in asking me about my intentions," Byakuya answers somehow annoyed, "I believe that my intentions have been made clear by now. In case they have lacked the decisiveness that you were perhaps expecting, I can only confirm my seriousness with which I treat Ichigo."

"And you want to take him on a date?"

"He seemed wistful when talking about the matter and I would like to offer him this."

Suddenly Urahara breaks in a slightly disturbing grin and Byakuya asks himself if he has taken the best decision to come here. "Then here's what you have to do. But first we shall start with a lesson in the origins of the process called 'dating'."

Two and a half hours later, Byakuya finally leaves for work followed by the mad couple's giggles. He probably won't hear the end of this, but he knows that this is the only way to make Ichigo happy, so he is decided to make everything happen that weekend.

That night while Ichigo is brushing his teeth (neither the most romantic time, nor exactly the most attractive either), Byakuya is looking at him with fond soft eyes. The younger man is puzzled and raises an eyebrow, his trade question mark.

"What is it?" Byakuya takes in his lover: he is dressed in some black t-shirt that makes his hair stand out even more and some grey sweat pants that look like they want to reveal everything to the world. Byakuya takes a step closer and crowds Ichigo between his body and the sink. He nuzzles his younger lover's neck and he inhales deeply. Ichigo smells like soap and mint and something wild and passionate, which is entirely him. His lover's arms come around him and Byakuya can't stand it anymore and kisses the life out of Ichigo. The kiss is possessive and on this side of hard, but it makes them both breathless with pleasure.

"What was that for?" Ichigo asks in a soft whisper, not knowing for sure what to expect next. Byakuya doesn't let him go.

"I want you to come with me on a date this Friday." For a moment there's complete silence between the two of them and Byakuya wonders briefly if he sounded really that bad. But Ichigo has that fond look on his face again so maybe he doesn't have to worry.

"You wanted to ask me on a date and you decided that kissing me breathless might make the trick?"

"That and the fact that I like kissing you."

"Of course you do." Ichigo kisses him softly. Now he tastes a little more like Byakuya and somehow the older man feels quite proud of himself.

Another moment of silence.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Are you going to come with me on a date or not?"

"Oh, I thought you knew by now that I can't say ever _no_ to you." Ichigo smiles wickedly. "I'd like to go on a date with you. My classes have been canceled anyways, so I can offer you a whole day."

"I have a course in the morning, so I would like to meet for lunch. Is that all right?"

"Yes, I'd like that. We will settle over details a little later." Ichigo's grin grows bigger as he flushes his body to Byakuya's. "Now tell me more about this kissing me breathless part."

Needless to say, Byakuya obliges him. He can't say _no_ either when it comes to Ichigo.

He almost forgets about the date thing in the following days, mostly because he has never been an anxious person to begin with. However by Friday he feels more than a little jittery and it takes everything not to go and call Ichigo and abandon the entire thing. He's not good at this: expressing his feelings through gestures. But he wants this, he wants nothing more than make Ichigo happy.

So he meets with Ichigo at a small restaurant opened recently in Karakura town, with an exquisite cuisine but very friendly and intimate. Both are dressed casually, as he requested, because the Demon Woman told him that he should set a friendly and open atmosphere. So his lover is dressed in a blue t-shirt and some black jeans that make him look as sin embodied in the most delicious of bodies. He also picked such comfortable clothes as he is dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a white shirt with rolled sleeves. If he guides himself after Ichigo's heated gaze, he would say that he has taken the right decision.

They eat and have fun, talking and joking and it feels extraordinary because in spite of his nerves, Byakuya feels himself relaxed more and more. He understand somehow why people have chosen such a method to meet their half. He likes to see Ichigo blushing slightly when Byakuya compliments him or when he smiles relaxed and mellow and without a care in the world. But mostly Byakuya likes how Ichigo looks at him, like he is the source of all best things, in awe that he is there with him. It makes him feel special and loved and all the other sappy things that he has been warned that he might feel.

"Where to now?" Ichigo asks him as soon as they get out of the restaurant and Byakuya smiles seeing his lover's enthusiasm.

"I have been informed that going to an amusement park is the natural continuation of such a meeting." Almost instantly Ichigo scowls at him.

"What? Man, I'm not a chick. You can't make me go there."

"Odd." Byakuya frowns. "I was assured that you would like such an activity."

"You were assured?" Ichigo's scowl doesn't disappear but it softens somehow. "By whom?"

"By Urahara-san. I went and asked him about how a date might go."

His lover's jaw almost hits the pavement.

"Of course that crazy bastard told you such a thing."

"You don't approve of such an activity?" Byakuya unwittingly lets his disappointment fill his tone, before he adopts that blank face again and starts closing down. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that an amusement park might be a place that you disapprove of. "

"No, it's not that." Ichigo reassures him and there's definitely guilt in his passionate eyes. "It's just that … Oh, never mind. Let's go to the amusement park."

"Ichigo, I don't want to force you into doing something that you don't like. We can go another time. I want you to feel good at this date."

Ichigo looks around and when he notices that there's no chance of being seen, he gets closer to Byakuya and replies with enough heat to melt Byakuya's bones:

"I feel good anywhere on this world as long as _you_ are with me."

He kisses him short but hard enough to almost bruise the older man, but Byakuya can't complain. He licks his lips afterwards, because they still tingle and he can still taste Ichigo. As they start walking towards the bus station, Ichigo smiles deviously:

"So are you going to tell me how you got to be advised on a date by those two crazy people?"

"Mostly it is Renji and my sister's fault for being completely unhelpful."

On their way to the amusement park, Byakuya describes to Ichigo the horror of being advised by those two people. It makes his lover laugh so hard that Byakuya is afraid he might get sick. But then they arrive at the amusement park and Byakuya forgets the entire thing because _this_? This is totally nothing like he thought an amusement park might look like. Firstly it is incredibly crowded and he wonders how romantic feelings can be developed in such noise and agitation. Then there are people everywhere doing all sorts of activities about which he is only vaguely knowledgeable. He understands now Ichigo's reluctance to come here.

"No chickening out now." Ichigo teases him and Byakuya this time truly rolls his eyes.

"Your vocabulary is lacking proper phrases and it should be improved really soon. You can't say that to your patients."

"Well, I always have "not going back", "no holding back", "not backing off"." Ichigo smirks victoriously. "You want more? 'Cause I got more."

"Stop before you completely butcher the language. And please tell me why you haven't prevented me from bringing you in this overcrowded place."

"Hey, don't blame me. You had this great idea of listening to Urahara-san and Yoruichi-san in giving you advice for romantic developments."

"No romantic developments. I simply wanted some information regarding dates."

"From them."

"Yes, I confess it wasn't the most inspired idea I have ever had…"

"Really?" Ichigo smiles gently once he sees that Byakuya starts tensing. "Hey, I know that this isn't exactly your thing, but we might actually have fun here. Come on. Let me introduce you to the experience of going to an amusement park."

Ichigo winks at him and Byakuya can't help it but follow him in that sea of people where Ichigo is like an orange beacon. Oh, and how he notices the reactions of the people when they are around. Byakuya is surprised to notice that both sexes are more than intrigued by Ichigo's presence. The color of his hair attracts the attention of the people but somehow he knows it's more than that. For his age, Ichigo seems quite mature. The Winter War has left invisible marks, which scarred his young soul. Nonetheless it makes all the people be drawn to him.

"Let's try to do this for a first experience." Ichigo grins and makes Byakuya look at some incredibly small cars and the reckless people that drive them apparently purposely hitting each other.

"Cashing cars?" Byakuya looks disbelievingly at Ichigo but the young man looks excited about it, so he swallows his pride and decides that recklessness will most likely describe this day. So he goes with it because this is all about Ichigo after all.

The first few times he crashes his car into someone else's, he apologizes until Ichigo explains to him that this is the actual purpose after all and, after that, they chase each other around as if they were alone there. There there's a thing called "The Mirror Labyrinth" which shows different distorted images of him and Ichigo. He doesn't like it until Ichigo kisses him passionately and the mirrors around reflect the love that they have for each other. Distorted but just as wonderful. Then it's time for "The Horror House". It's the only time when he regrets coming here when he sees Ichigo growing pale at a black shadow, which bears too much resemblance to the creatures he has defeated during the Winter War. Byakuya makes him look away and whispers gentle nothings into his ear until the young man starts smiling wobbly back at him and then Byakuya feels as if he has accomplished his mission.

They are about to go eat again when they pass a booth that has an incredible amount of different teddy bears.

"What is this?" He asks halting Ichigo by grasping his forearm. The young man smiles.

"See those moving ducks? You have to shoot five of them to win a teddy bear for the one you like."

"Oh, very well then. Let's go."

"What? No, no way in hell."

"I don't comprehend your reluctance." Now Byakuya is truly confused by Ichigo's scowl. "Didn't you say that if I shoot five of these ducks, I could win? I like you, I can win so I really don't see the problem."

"This is something that boys do for girls. Last time I checked I wasn't a girl." Ichigo hisses.

"Thank God for that." Byakuya mutters in response, still feeling Ichigo's hot skin under his fingers and why does it feel like it is never enough? Why does it feel like no matter how much he touches him and no matter how much he craves for him, it is never ever enough?

"Seriously, let's just go."

"No, I wish to try this." Ichigo scowls some more at him. Byakuya feels like a little bratty child and slightly amused by his own lack of proper manners, but at the same time he feels so liberated. It is as if since moving in with Ichigo, he has received a free pass to be himself for a chance, to try anything because he desires so and no one else.

"Fine, but if anyone hears of it, I promise you I will revive Zangetsu, especially for you."

"I really don't understand the menace in your voice but very well, I agree to the terms."

The first time he tries to do something, he doesn't succeed much. He's not used to his weapon and Ichigo laughs quite a lot at him. The second time he concentrates more. He has a feel now of the weapon and before he knows it, he wins probably the fluffiest teddy bear with soft brown plushy fur and a small red strawberry instead of a heart. It's perfect and Byakuya holds it out to Ichigo. The young man looks embarrassed as the man running the booth looks amused at the both of them. Ichigo looks at Byakuya and perhaps there's something that he sees written on his face, because reluctantly Ichigo takes the plushy thing and holds it tenderly under his arm.

"This is probably the gayest thing ever."

"We haven't been on a Ferris wheel yet."

"I take that back. _That_ will be the gayest thing ever." Ichigo morosely comments but he follows Byakuya through the crowd ignoring the giggling girls and the staring guys.

The evening falls warmly over the entire park and there's something soft around the ages because by the time they are finally on the Ferris wheel, Byakuya feels tired and hungry. This date thing is terribly exhausting. But Ichigo stands in front of him with the bear right next to him and Byakuya feels content. A small smile rests on Ichigo's lips so Byakuya does the only thing he can do: he sits right next to him, takes one hand away and squeezes it. Ichigo squeezes it back without looking at him but Byakuya doesn't need that so he smiles back softly understanding everything.

They spend the entire ride in silence enjoying the evening and the lights of the city, visible from such a height. There's no communication between them and yet it is if as if even their hearts beat in unison. The bear rests silent between the two of them.

On the way home, Ichigo holds the bear as something precious. They don't say much but there's no need for communication anymore and Byakuya wonders if he has done something today, which might have deepen their connection. No matter. They return to their small apartment but just as they are about to enter, Ichigo stops him with his free hand, palm over his heart.

"It has been a great first date." He mutters clearly amused, but so happy. Those cinnamon eyes shine in a way that he hasn't seen before.

"So do you intend to accept my next invitation?" Byakuya asks in response.

"It depends."

"Depends on what?"

"How the kiss goes."

"I see." Byakuya whispers as he leans towards his lover. He slowly licks the plump bottom lip and Ichigo makes a sound that makes Byakuya's toes curl in pleasure. He nips at it and then licks the upper one, letting Ichigo melting against his body, the bear trapped between the two of them. Ichigo's hand is still on his heart, while the other one holds the bear. Byakuya circles Ichigo's waist with one arm while the other caresses his spine until it reaches the nape where his hand finds those soft orange locks. The younger man trembles in excitement and Byakuya finally takes mercy on him and kisses him passionately, taking everything and leaving nothing, greedily tasting Ichigo as if he has been craving for this an eternity.

When they stop to breathe, the younger man leans closer and puts his forehead on Byakuya's collarbone feeling his damp hot breaths. His skin is on fire and he feels raw, but this is Ichigo in his arms and there's no holding back.

"I think I'm going to keep you." Ichigo finally whispers and kisses his collarbone closing the deal. And Byakuya smiles, kisses Ichigo on top of his head and guides him inside of the apartment, not breaking the connection between the two of them. The night is still young.

**oOo**

_A/N: I'm so sorry for being MIA for so long, but I hope that Kyuu90 hasn't lost hope forever about receiving this chapter (I really hope you like it too). I have many pitiful excuses for being gone for so long, most of them dealing with my cold (which returned with a vengeance) and my laptop breaking down. I'm back now so I will start posting normally again. XD As always, I thank to the people that reviewed/ alerted/ favorited and read this story. _


	18. Cohabitation: The Morning After

**Disclaimer: **Nope, _Bleach_ doesn't belong to me because Kubo Tite is its rightful owner and I'm not him.

_**18. The Morning After**_

_About a year after Cohabitation: Another's Point of View_

It is strange to feel the warmth of the strong body next to him every day when he wakes up. Ichigo knows that he has a strange way of sleeping, that usually he doesn't move around at night. He usually wakes up in the same position he has been asleep. Yet, ever since he got with Byakuya he feels migrating towards the older man. There were simple movements at the beginning. He would lay his palm over the strong chest or wake up with his nose deep buried in the shoulder blade of the man. Then he would sleep even tighter, with his head on the other man's shoulder or with a hand over his waist. Ichigo isn't a cuddler, that's for sure, but there's something appealing in the warmth that Byakuya provides, in the scent that enwraps him every time he chooses to let himself buried in the other man's chest.

Since there aren't any more emergencies in the real world, since there's a shinigami who does his work well and he doesn't feel like it's his job to kill hollows, Ichigo has found out that he has a secret pleasure: he likes to sleep. A lot. But he loves even more to sleep until noon with Byakuya next to him. It's not easy. They are both active men and they hate to waste time with such trifle things but Sunday has definitely become an exception for them and a tradition of some sort. Still, Ichigo doesn't understand how even after so long he is attracted by Byakuya's warmth and love. Even in his sleep, the older man draws him.

So in the end it's no surprise that he wakes up with his head on Byakuya shoulder, while the fingers of the older man are tangled in his hair, caressing his orange locks with smooth movements as if he wants to sooth him. It makes him almost purr with pleasure. They are naked and they are skin on skin, their legs tangled in a loving mess. Normally Ichigo would think this is more than uncomfortable, but this morning he feels loved and cherished and he doesn't want to let go so he just snuggles deeper and deeper into the older man's chest.

"You're awake." He hears the deep voice rumbling into the chest and Ichigo can't stop the silly smile when he hears it.

"Yeah." He mumbles quietly making Byakuya smile. He feels it in the way the gentle fingers are passing through his hair, while the other one gently rubs him on the back. Ichigo squeezes a little tighter because he can and because he wants to. The older man just lavishes into the embrace.

"Do you want to get up?" Byakuya whispers after a while.

Ichigo inhales deeply.

"Not yet." He mumbles lost in the scent that it is totally Byakuya. There's musk and a strong flavour and something, which is entirely Byakuya, and Ichigo doesn't want to let go. He feels dizzy with it even after so long.

He opens a little his eyes and looks up at Byakuya who smiles at him with such love and adoration that Ichigo feels his throat suddenly go dry. He leans a little further and Byakuya doesn't expect another invitation. Morning breaths be damned. Their lips meet in a dry kiss and that's just it at the beginning. A small chaste kiss that makes them want to touch more. Byakuya is slowly caressing Ichigo's lips and then all of the sudden he plunges in, tasting everything and more. Ichigo lets him dominate because he likes when Byakuya takes control. It makes him feel safe. Protected. And he is grateful for that.

The kiss becomes more heated and suddenly Byakuya is on top of him, covering him with his body. His broad shoulders make Ichigo want to bite in them. He doesn't though. Byakuya looks at him with such heated surprise that he can't take it anymore. It is this time Ichigo who initiates the kiss as he embraces the broad shoulders, and feels the smooth skin under his palms. Byakuya groans and that makes Ichigo feel even better. He loves the fact that he is the only person in this world who can make Byakuya lose control and generally make those sounds. One of Byakuya's hands is still in his hair and Ichigo wonders briefly if his lover has a fetish with his hair, but he's too amused by the tender gestures to say anything. Byakuya's other hand is travelling on his strong abs as if he tries to remember everything, as if he's just a blind man trying to imagine his lover's body. There's such a strange adoration in that hand that Ichigo can't stop himself from wanting more, from desiring more and he feels like Byakuya will always be there for him to give him what he wants, what he needs.

It is probably this reason why he likes to have Byakuya on top of him, describing his love with kisses and caresses that take away everything and more. He opens his eyes and looks at the older man. The gray orbs are darkened with desire and the pupils are blown wildly. It's a consuming passion and Ichigo feels glad that he is the prisoner of such passion. He cups one of his lover's cheeks and smiles suddenly. His thumb takes pleasure in caressing his lover's cheek and he takes pleasure from seeing Byakuya leaning in the touch. But then his lover licks his lips and just like that Ichigo stops thinking about it and just lets himself drown in the sensations.

_A day earlier_

"Byakuya, we should go. They invited us, we can't refuse to go right now." Ichigo is exasperated when he sees that his lover is still unprepared and far from removing himself from the couch. Byakuya is dressed in some sweat pants and a white t-shirt reading some papers from his students. They were invited to Midori's party as she just announced her engagement with Aoshi, a guy that still has to prove himself worthy of her love. In Ichigo's humble opinion anyways.

"I don't want to go." Byakuya says like a petulant child and Ichigo loves the man, don't get him wrong; he would sacrifice the world for him, but he seriously wants to kick his ass at this moment.

"What do you mean you don't want to go?" Ichigo snaps as he plops on an armchair next to the couch where Byakuya is sitting. "We promised her and Aoshi-san that we would go. You were happy enough back then to oblige and now you just decided that you don't want to go?"

"I have enough work as it is, Ichigo." Byakuya finally looks at him with his grey orbs betraying some of the annoyance that Ichigo feels as well. "The dean asked me to take on another course and I have to prepare everything for it by Monday. On top of it all, I still have to look at these papers. I consider it is my duty to solve these issues and as such I can't attend the party. But you may go if you like."

"Oh, how generous of you!" Ichigo snarls. "I mean, yeah, actually this is what I wanted all along: your approval to go to a party that you wanted to go to in the first place. How about fuck you, Byakuya Kuchiki! Does _that_ work for you?" Ichigo stands up looking like a pissed off cat. Yeah, he knows he's not very menacing, perhaps this is why he has always won his battles, probably because his adversaries have always underestimated him.

"Ichigo." Byakuya says in the same cold demeanor but Ichigo feels the anger. It's prickling his skin and he wants to push the man over the edge. He really wants to do it because this is the only way in which Byakuya would react to him.

"_You_ accepted the invitation, we made Aoshi's life a miserable hell until we decided that he's good enough for Midori-san and now you tell me that you have a lot of work and you don't want to go. Well, tough luck, because we are fucking going. Go get dressed. Your duty today is to go to the party that you fucking agreed to go to."

Ichigo has had enough. He slams the door of the bathroom because he really wants to hurt Byakuya right now but he doesn't want to let that happen. The older man still has so much to learn about the real world and he feels like this might be good for him. He doesn't want to get so brutal but sometimes it feels as if Byakuya will understand only such words. There are moments in their common lives when they understand each other so well, but then there are the moments like this one when they see the differences so well.

He takes a shower quickly because he still reeks of hospital and he needs something more comfortable for the party. It's just among friends and Midori knows that he has barely come from the hospital, so they are entitled to leave earlier. It's more of show up, meet and greet and then leave type of thing. He knows that Byakuya doesn't like parties and that he feels out of place. Even when they meet with their own friends, Byakuya has always had a demeanor that says he would rather be somewhere else than there. The point is he knows how hard it is for him to be a social person but that doesn't give him the right to be an asshole about it.

Ichigo huffs and puffs as he changes into a pair of grey jeans and a black shirt. He passes his fingers through his hair and then he thinks he is ready. Byakuya is already expecting him in the living room dressed in some black slacks and a white shirt. His hair is caught in a ponytail that makes him look even younger. Ichigo appreciates the effort and smiles a little tightly at his lover.

Byakuya surprises him by smiling lightly at him and taking his hand as they get out of their apartment to go to the one next to them.

"Sorry." Byakuya whispers and it's so quiet that for a moment Ichigo thinks he might have imagined the whole thing. But then his lover squeezes his hand tightly and kisses his temple and Ichigo knows that they are going to be all right. He is like a volcano anyways: he explodes but he never keeps anything to himself. Ichigo fights and quarrels with people but at the end of it all, he never gets angry for long periods of time and he never holds the anger.

They are more than welcomed to the party. Midori-san loves them and Ichigo can see that Aoshi loves her just as much. It gets weird sometimes to see her so happy. They are used to her melancholy, but now there's a new glow in her eyes, a glow that wasn't there before and for which Aoshi is more than responsible. The way the man smiles around her makes Ichigo think he wouldn't mind being responsible for such a thing.

Byakuya is sociable. Or at least this is what it seems to Ichigo. He speaks politely with everybody and he even smiles which is definitely a good point. He sees the way people look at him and his lover. He sees the way they begin to understand what they are for each other and yet Ichigo is always surprised to see that there are no bad reactions about it. There's this compassion and understanding and Ichigo feels even prouder that Byakuya loves him.

They stay until late at the party. Never underestimate the power of some writers and publishers over Byakuya. Ichigo sees the way his lover enjoys to talk about important literary things and have people hanging over his every word.

Still it is Byakuya who tells Ichigo that it is time to go back to their apartment. Midori thanks them warmly and Aoshi invites Byakuya to a literary event, which will take place next week. Of course the man says yes. They smile again and leave. They are both incredibly tired and they definitely need some hours to sleep yet the moment they get back into the apartment, Byakuya starts kissing him passionately.

"Do you know how sexy you look in a black shirt? I wanted to make you mine right then and there." Byakuya growls as he kisses him, as his hands take a possessive hold of his hips and Ichigo has nothing smart to reply, except get closer to his lover and let him do whatever Byakuya wants. In the end it's all about this, the chemistry between the two of them, the love, the passion.

He thinks he might never get tired of Byakuya. And the way the older man kisses him, he's sure that Byakuya feels the same way.

Of course the morning after proves this.

**oOo**

_A/N: This was just a small chapter to keep you company until I finish another chapter. As always I thank the reviewers for being so kind to me. And to all of you who alerted/ favorited or read this story. Thank you. My next update should come soon. _


	19. Cohabitation: Goodbye

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Bleach_. I just borrowed Kubo Tite's characters to tell a story for entertainment purposes only.

_**19. Cohabitation - Goodbye**_

_Takes place ten years after When Time Stops_

Ichigo passes his fingers through his graying hair and wonders briefly if he can still breathe. He feels like a child again, on that bank of a river, holding the corpse of his mother and crying for help in the harsh rain that seemed to never stop. His breaths are rugged at best and he feels like his chest contracts himself more painfully than he has imagined. His heart wavers in a throbbing way and he reminds himself that he has to calm down. It has passed a lot of time since he had to be tough on his own, since he has stopped taking punches on his own.

He looks at his trembling hands and he thinks that he should try something to make them stop. He has to be strong and face the people that have come there to pay tribute. It feels so silly and yet this is exactly what they are going to do. And he is completely alone in the stupid office, waiting for a shadow of a man that will never come. He feels his eyes filling with tears again and he should stop, damn it, he's not a kid anymore. He wipes them furiously; he can be strong on his own again. He just… he just….. He grabs the desk with such force that his knuckles whiten. He just has to calm down, calm his frail heart and try to breathe and be strong again. His sisters need him to be strong; hell, Byakuya needs him to be strong even though he couldn't be there for him.

There's a soft knock on the door and Chad gets in the room. Ichigo appreciates the way his friend lets him gather himself for a minute before he finally whispers in that quiet voice of his:

"They are all ready, Ichigo. They are waiting for you."

He finally turns to his oldest friend, his best friend and nods. The taller man comes closer and puts a strong hand on his shoulder, squeezing it with affection, trying to pass his strength to him and Ichigo appreciates the effort more than he lets him know. He takes a deep breath and Chad just looks at him steady, with understanding and compassion.

"Thank you." He whispers back and the hand falls from his shoulder. He lets Chad straighten his tie and then takes a deep breath again, steadies himself and finally walks out of the room.

The people gathered look at him with respect, compassion, hurt. His sisters come almost immediately at his side and silently give him strength too. He feels too big for his skin and winded really tight within himself. Nothing can take the edge of the pain that suffocates him so he just gives a small signal and everybody moves in silence. Ichigo takes his sisters and moves along with them. They are holding hands like they did when they were just children and they lost their mother. His back stiffens. He can do this. This time he can be the man. Not like back then.

The funeral goes without a hitch. It's a beautiful day and the sun is shining making the air pleasant with the scents of the flowers. It's something that pleases Ichigo and in spite of the lump in his throat he can't cry anymore. He just holds his sisters' shoulders and they both burrow their faces in his chest and cry silently. It hurts too much. It's not enough.

When they go home, everything is settled in the big garden in the back of the house, thanks to Tatsuki and Orihime. There are a few tables out with food and drinks and some umbrellas to keep them guarded against the sun. There are only a few people left now and Ichigo feels grateful for it. His sisters go to their respective husbands and they all settle at the table. There are the closest friends and Ichigo feels a new burden on his shoulders. Orihime smiles wobbly at him; this makes the lump grow even bigger but he steadies himself again and takes the cup of sake in his hand. It's not shaking anymore. He can do this.

"My father was a lunatic." Ichigo starts and there are some snorts, smiles and down right giggles and it's Ichigo's turn to have his lips twitch on their own accord. "A considerable lunatic." He continues. "He constantly cried at my mother's poster, he would humiliate me and my sisters with his behavior, he would say the crudest jokes and he would make us want to punch him. Hard." Karin rolls his eyes because most of the time they did punch him and Yuzu smiles through her tears because she remembers only too well how she felt embarrassed every time her father found a new chore for his future son-in-law. Ichigo's eyes become softer.

"But he was also kind and gentle with his patients, always trying to help them more, do something more for them, giving them everything. He was supportive in his own crazy way, understanding beyond reason, trying to teach us to be our own people, our own beliefs and principles and never deter from them. He was a kind father, a good husband and a wonderful doctor who helped me more than I could ever say. I drink to my father, my hero. May his memory live forever!" He drinks the cup of sake, the burn rolling pleasantly down his throat. "Let's have fun now because he would probably return from the grave just to have our asses kicked because he wants no wallowing and moping around."

Everyone snorts again and soon everyone is laughing, telling stories about Isshin Kurosaki.

Ichigo doesn't say much most of the times because he doesn't feel capable of adding anything else after what he just said. The memory of his father is still aching within his heart and he knows that he shouldn't do this to himself because he knows where his father is now, but still he misses his old man so much. He misses his stupid jokes and his lewd commentaries about his relationship with Byakuya. He still remembers how much it meant to him to be accepted by his father so easily, to make him feel loved again.

It was always acceptance with his father. Acceptance of his son being a weird kid with the power of seeing ghosts, acceptance that his son was guilty of his Masaki's death, although Ichigo had never seen blame in those fatherly eyes, just sadness as if Isshin wished he could do something more to help Ichigo; acceptance of his son being a shinigami, of his son being gay for another shinigami. It was as if Isshin had always been blind to Ichigo's flaws, actually to all his children's flaws. He could only see the best of them and for that Ichigo has always been grateful.

Perhaps this is why he hurts so much. And the fact that Byakuya misses all this hurts him all the more. There are some things that are going to be known only by the Kurosaki family and the few friends that have been longer with them than anyone else. The fact that Byakuya doesn't get old is one of the few dark secrets that his sisters have kept towards their husbands. Byakuya is still the same even after more than twenty years spent on Earth, and this would have troubled a lot of people present at the funeral today, including his sisters' husbands. Of course they know of Byakuya's existence back in the days when it was still safe for him to be around. They have met him and they warmed up to him, well, as much as any person can warm up to the head of the Kuchiki clan. But now… well, Byakuya has suddenly become ill and doctors prohibited him to travel. Of course this was the official story.

Ichigo doesn't know how much he misses having Byakuya with him until he gets in his old bed that night and thinks of what has happened in their recent life. They have moved around a couple of times now, leaving Karakura town about two years after Ichigo's car accident. This had been bad and their relationship had taken a major hit back then. Ichigo feels a little guilty at this still remembering the storm, back in the new freshly painted apartment, which he hated because it didn't resemble to their house. He hated the fact that he had left his family behind, he hated the fact that they left behind their home and so many memories because Byakuya couldn't grow old, because he couldn't alter his gigai, because altering this would mean altering his essence something which could have become entirely too dangerous. But the storm had passed and they became stronger together.

They have moved around every couple of years now and it feels weird to feel his body aging. He still feels strong, he still feels like he could do a lot of things, but also he feels his bad leg hurting a bit more when he stands up too much, he knows that his heart is more than a little frail with the amount of time spent outside his body when he was young. The doctor asked him astonished once what he had been doing when he was young, how come his heart seemed so tired. Ichigo smiled back them, unable to tell the doctor that he had been trying to save the world from an egomaniac prick. That doctor recommended a lot of things, which Ichigo decided to ignore. Well, some of them anyways. It was hard to ignore everything when Byakuya's stern behavior made him feel guilty for even trying.

They have been moving a lot and yet his father and his family have always been a constant, a constant that is gone now. He feels that lump again but nothing comes out. Not a sob, not a tear and Ichigo feels emotionally crippled so he does the only thing that would settle his mind. He takes his cell phone and calls the one person he needs the most. Three seconds later the loved voice answers:

"How are you holding up?" Byakuya asks without any introduction and this definitely makes Ichigo smile a little. This is his husband, his soul mate: incapable of restraining himself when it comes to Ichigo. His voice however is dripping with concern.

"I wish you could be here right now." Ichigo answers in a small voice and he gets on one side of the bed.

"I wish I could be there too." There's so much regret in that deep voice that Ichigo feels a little guilty because there's nobody's fault in all this mess of a situation.

"I miss you." Ichigo whispers around the lump because suddenly everything is stifling and he feels raw with the need of being in his husband's arms. They've always kept him steady and strong.

"I miss you too. So much." Byakuya whispers back. There's no need to ask for more. Ichigo relaxes a little after a while.

"It was beautiful today." He starts telling after a while. "The sun shone brightly and I really think that my old man would have loved the day. And we tried to have a celebration of his life rather than commiserating his death. I called him a lunatic."

"I think he would have liked all that. You did well, Ichigo."

"I miss him." His breath hitches. "I miss him so much. "

"I know you do."

Silence again.

"I can't sleep without you near." Ichigo confesses in a dead voice sometimes later.

"Me neither." A moment of hesitation then: "You want me to stay on the line until you fall asleep?"

"_Please_."

There's nothing more after that. He feels a little more relaxed hearing Byakuya small breath at the other end of the phone and perhaps an hour later he is finally asleep.

It's a ritual that repeats itself for the entire week that stays there working through the legal haze and sorting his father's business. Karin stays put as she wants to take care of his father's cabinet and this makes Ichigo feel a little better. Karin's husband, Takaya, is also a medic and he really likes the idea of continuing Isshin's legacy. They are going to make a great job. His sister has always been dedicated. They work together during the day to solve as many problems as they can and at night they talk about their father and the stupid things he used to do and it makes him feel better and worse at the same time: better because he likes to talk about his old man, worse because the tears still don't come. He hasn't cried since he found out the news. And that lump in his throat grows and grows and suffocates him and each night Byakuya's voice sooths him, but it's not enough. Not nearly enough.

He doesn't feel how bad it all has got until a week later, in the train station where Byakuya waits for him and hugs the air out of him. Ichigo almost collapses in his arms. They don't talk all the way home, but Ichigo loves the silence and loves Byakuya for offering it. All the way home his husband holds his hand and Ichigo feels loved and cared for within that small gesture. While they have moved around Japan now, there are things that have never changed between the two of them and Byakuya still gives Ichigo strength with just a small gesture. Everything is pouring love and Ichigo feels grateful for it.

At home he goes straight for a shower trying to shake the numbness from his body. He lets the hot water drown his sorrow and exhaustion but nothing can perform miracles and after he changes in his sweats and a t-shirt, he sits at the margin of the bed with hands in his hair and thinks he might want to howl, do anything as long as that lump disappears. This is how Byakuya finds him ten minutes later.

His husband is comfortably dressed just like him. His strong hand comes and settles on Ichigo's back, carefully caressing it, like he's something that might break. And the truth is Ichigo feels like brittle glass, ready to crack.

"I haven't shed one single tear over my father's death." Ichigo confesses in a broken voice and his husband comes closer. "What kind of son am I? What kind of son doesn't mourn for the loss of his parent? Seriously what is wrong with me?"

"Ichigo…"

"No, I want to know." Ichigo looks at Byakuya, breathing harshly now. "It's just… I'm so angry with him. He didn't even tell us that he was ill, took it all in strides and hid it so well, even from Karin's watchful eyes." He breaks a little more. "He should have stayed longer, he should have fought for some more time. I know I'm selfish… I just…." A sob wreaks his back and yet still no tears. "I entered the house for the first time in so long and there were no shouts of _welcome, my wonderful son_, no stupid punches, no _you're late_ and the house feels smaller and there's this stifling silence…."

There's a tear falling and another and another and Ichigo takes fists of Byakuya's t-shirt and hides his face in his husband's chest and cries and cries and cries until there are no more tears left, until the lump is gone and he feels raw and his voice is hoarse and he feels like he might want to sleep forever. He barely registers the fact that he lays next to Byakuya now, on his husband's chest still holding fistfuls of his t-shirt. One hand lovingly sooths his back, wrecked with so many painful sobs, while the other caresses his fading orange locks. Small nothings are whispered in his ear and he feels loved and finally secure. He can let go now. He can do what his father has taught him a long time ago: he can share his burden with someone who loves him.

He wakes up a couple of hours later. The fading sun still lingers with some rays in the bedroom. He stills holds Byakuya like he's a drowning man and his husband still caresses his hair.

"Thank you." He murmurs signaling his husband that he's awake.

"You have nothing to thank me for. I'll always be here for you." Byakuya kisses the top of his head and when Ichigo finally looks at him, Byakuya's thumb draws soothing circles on his cheek. "You resemble so much to your father. You have his fire and passion and his want to help people. And you always lie to others when you don't want to make them feel bad for you." Ichigo feels all teary again but Byakuya presses on: "He wanted to be remembered as a strong man, Ichigo, he wanted some dignity and you would have done the same, had it been you in his position. I bet your sisters don't know half of it about your heart." Ichigo nods silently and Byakuya's lips twitch in his unique way. "He loved you and your sisters very much and you have the knowledge that you will meet him again one day. And trust me this should be more than enough."

Ichigo doesn't say anything else and slowly kisses his husband. Their lips are dry and the position is a little uncomfortable but he thinks that this is one of their best kisses. They resume their positions and Byakuya continues to caress his hair and before he knows it he feels at peace. He knows that it will take time to heal, that now he has to keep closer to his sisters, but at least for now he can grieve and his husband can be next to him. And that in itself is better than he ever thought he might have one day.

"Do you want to eat something?" Byakuya asks and his chest rumbles making Ichigo stupidly grateful for it.

"Can we just stay like this a while longer?" Ichigo asks in return and Byakuya getting more comfortable on the pillows holding Ichigo tight to his chest is a more than enough answer.

The sun is almost fading now and Ichigo can see the roofs of some of the houses in their neighborhood. The sky takes an orange glow, a powerful orange that slowly fades from Ichigo's hair and he thinks about his sisters and about his father. But mostly he thinks about the man whose heartbeat is currently listening. Ichigo reluctantly is aware of the fact that he will one day die. It's bound to happen with his frail heart and all. But he doesn't worry about it: he has enough will to cross the universe just to be with Byakuya again. But a nagging thought keeps pressuring his mind: what will happen to Byakuya when Ichigo will die?

The sun has set and the sky is darkening and Ichigo feels that trying times come ahead but for now he closes his eyes, inhaling his husband's scent and loving every moment spent with him. That steady heartbeat is music to his soul and wishes he could listen to it forever.

**oOo**

_A/N: I seriously don't know where this came from. I wanted to give you a happy chapter but my muse left me half way through it and this came instead. Again I thank my reviewers for their feedback and to all of you who alerted/ favorited/ read this story. _


	20. Afterlife: Byakuya

**Disclaimer: **___Bleach_ belongs to Kubo Tite. Enough said.

_**20. Afterlife - Byakuya**_

The thing about love…. About true love…. The thing about true love is that it is supposed to never end, to defeat death. Stars, fate, God, Buddha and all the other gods known or unknown to the world are supposed to favor real love; they make the pitiful human beings think that love is the one thing that should rule their lives. The thing is the said pitiful human beings don't need a lot of persuasion.

We look for a soul mate all our lives and when we find them, it's like a small light in the blackest darkness; it's the small summer rain during a hot dry day; it's the perfect tune to the perfect song. World is governed by strange rules and those rules usually don't bend to anyone. Usually love does end when the natural end of things comes, whether it's sudden or not. Soul mates leave each other alone for the rest of one's life, for they aren't blessed to walk into the dark together. Solitude cripples the other soul mate because they know now how it is to feel complete and when the other half is missing, they feel like maybe, just maybe, there's a huge sadistic urge in a force out there to make them feel what hell feels like.

The thing about soul mates is the fact that even in the scariest situations, even in the most heart-wrenching solitude, even in the darkest corner of their world, when they find themselves without each other, they still know for certain that someday they will meet again.

The thing about true love is that in spite of gods and destiny and fate, it is always the one to outlast everything.

This is a story of such a love. A true love.

**o.o.o.o**

_**Byakuya**_

"Ichigo, I am home!" He says as soon as he crosses the threshold with some groceries bags in his arms. They decided to buy the small house a couple of years ago, after they had to move again so that nobody would notice the fact that Byakuya has been that young. From lover to husband to nephew to grandson. Time is unforgivable with both of them but especially with Ichigo. Nonetheless this house is precious to Byakuya. Apart from the apartment and then the house where he has lived with Ichigo in Karakura, this is the only place from their numerous ones where he feels like home. It's small but it's heaven to both of them and Byakuya shouts again just for good measure: "Stop pretending you're too old to hear me, you orange bastard. You're not fooling me twice."

Byakuya rests the groceries on the kitchen table and goes to find his machiavellic husband that always manages to somehow not accompany him in going shopping. Apparently over the years Byakuya has learned that yes, indeed, Ichigo has a passionate hate for this common task. The one time he managed to drag him to a supermarket he was cussing and scowling like a possessed cat. Like Yoruichi on a really bad day when Urahara has forgotten some of their anniversaries. _Again_.

"What the hell you're doing, old man?" Byakuya enquires as he sees Ichigo standing in his favorite armchair with a picture of the two of them in his hand, smiling softly as he is keeping his eyes closed. He's definitely old. In his sixties, and yet Byakuya still finds him the most beautiful person ever. Ichigo has lost most of his orange color as his hair has turned into a wonderful color of white. Byakuya still likes to pass his fingers through the soft hair as Ichigo sighs contently and pretends he doesn't like it. It's just that it reminds Byakuya how startled he was when meeting the young man for the very first time.

"It really was a beautiful day." Byakuya mumbles and goes to sit next to Ichigo looking at the picture and smiling slightly amused that Ichigo has fallen asleep yet again. His husband hates of course this aging process but Byakuya doesn't mind it at all. He looks at the picture. It was taken before Ichigo's car accident, when they have visited Yuzu who moved in a small village near the sea. The sun is shinning in the background and Ichigo is grinning like a lunatic. He stays right next to Byakuya, one arm slung across his shoulders. He's wearing a white shirt and some black shorts and his skin is golden tanned. Byakuya remembers how hungry he had been in tasting that skin under his lips that night afraid that he might forget just one second the alluring scent and flavor. Byakuya sits right next to him with a hand over Ichigo's heart in a blue shirt and some white pants. His hair is caught in a ponytail and he's also tanned; he smiles softly at Ichigo as if it's a wonderful torture to put up with the adorable man.

Byakuya smiles again, a little lost in the memories. And then he softly puts his arm over Ichigo's forearm. "Ichi, wake up, please, it's time for lunch." But the man seems pretty oblivious to the outside world so Byakuya tries to wake him up again. He waits a little longer and longer until in the end his blood freezes over and he feels like the world has been terminated. So many times he has kept a vigil over Ichigo's sleep especially after the accident because he was afraid of waking up without the love of this man. And now Ichigo went and did the things on his own way leaving Byakuya alone. Because this is the last time Ichigo went asleep. This time he's not waking up anymore and in spite of all the possibilities that go from here, Byakuya feels terrified. Because the loss is real. Because the pain that sears his body is real. And he's breaking. Hard. In a million pieces and he needs Ichigo to pull him back together and he knows that this is not a possibility anymore.

"_You're impossible, you know that?" Ichigo shouts and he feels like he wants to punch Byakuya in the guts all over again. "The fact is I am getting older. I'm forty-eight, Byakuya, goddamn it. And I look like someone has made a joke of what I used to be: my meat is flask and my hair is mostly grey and I look old. So how about you fuck off to Soul Society and wait for me there for the next I don't know how many years until I stop looking like a mummy reject and you can love me all over again?"_

_They had this discussion for a couple of years now. Especially since Urahara told them he couldn't make Byakuya look older, that the gigai is not something to play with and that if Byakuya chooses to do that, he can't go back to Soul Society anymore. _

"_I don't know why you insist in arguing with me over this, Ichigo." Byakuya takes that cold voice of his out again. It has been a while since he has used it but on the other hand he feels like he should put matter to rest once and for all. "When I said that I will love you for better or for worse, it didn't exactly mean until your body forgets what it used to be or until you cease to be sex on legs."_

"_Aha, see, you know it too. You see what I have become and-" Byakuya is so fast within his breathing space that Ichigo is startled and knows that what his husband is about to say might break them all over again. His grey eyes look at him with anger and resentment._

"_It's like you want me to leave you. Have you met someone else, Ichigo? Should I be concerned?"_

"_Don't be ridiculous, Byakuya." He meant it to come out strong and outraged but it comes pitiful cracked. _

"_Then what is it? What, Ichigo, because frankly I don't understand you anymore? Sometimes I feel like you never got over your fears, sometimes I think that you never trusted me to be by your side in the first place."_

"_No, Byakuya, definitely not." Ichigo is adamant to be believed but his husband continues as if he didn't even hear him._

"_So what if you're getting old? So what if you're not the same sixteen-year-old boy that forced me to take a step back and look at myself again? Do you know how beautiful you are now? Do you know how your eyes still shine with warmth and love when you look at me? How soft your hair still is? How attracted to your body I am even if you're not made of muscles anymore?" Byakuya inhales sharply because he feels like he might hurt Ichigo. "Sometimes you make me feel so unworthy of you. It's like even after so many years together I haven't proven myself or my love."_

"_No, Byakuya, please, this isn't what I wanted to say." Ichigo looks like he is about to cry with his soft brown eyes glistening in the light of the afternoon. "I just- it is I who feels unworthy of your love. When I die, I will keep my old form, Byakuya. I will never be the young man that you used to know. I will be an older form of mine and you say that you love me now, but who knows when I am going to die? What if you'll suddenly discover that you can't live with my old form? What if you start to resent me for being like this? I just want to make sure that you understand that you can leave me any time you want. I won't try to hold you back."_

_He doesn't see the punch until it hits him really bad in the jaw, which causes him to fall to the floor before he knows it. Ichigo looks startled at Byakuya whose breath is ragged and he feels the weight of the world coming to crush him down. Byakuya has punched him._

"_I never thought I would hate you in this life time. But I hate you so much right now." Byakuya's words pierce Ichigo's heart and he sees the pain that they cause but what Ichigo just said makes him want to throttle him. "If I would leave you right now, I believe you would be happy, you asshole. You say you think about me, but you actually don't think at all. You just care about how you might look, how you might feel. You don't care that I would rather have you in any shape or form than not have you at all. You bastard! You want to take everything from me without a second thought."_

_He feels like the room tightens around him so he does what he hasn't done in his life. He runs away. He runs. He gets out of the house ignoring Ichigo's screams and he runs like death chases him all over. Like he might meet an arrancar again. He runs and runs and never stops until he reaches the small peak on a hill from where he can see the small city in which they live now. It hurts so much he can barely breathe. He doesn't want to leave Ichigo and to see that suddenly the orange ball of energy feels his love like a burden makes him puke in the grass in the songs of the crickets and birds. _

_He doesn't know how long he stays there, he just feels like it's been decades. The warmth of the sun is slowly fading and he just knows that he has to go home but he doesn't feel like it. He feels like he might punch Ichigo again and once he swore that he would never hurt his love and husband. Another broken promise._

"_Did you fight with your Ichigo?" The sudden voice makes him recoil and he wants to scream that Ichigo isn't his uncle, that in fact he is his husband; how much he loathes the lies that he has to say in order to stay next to Ichigo. He looks up and he smiles at Nanahiko-san. She's a sweet old lady who loves Ichigo and has deserted her previous doctor just to be Ichigo's first patient._

"_Yes, something like that."_

"_Uhmmm". He feels like she might say something different, like she might tell him that everything is going to be all right, but a comfortable silence settles between them and there is a moment when Byakuya almost forgets that she's there._

"_It's just he doesn't understand how much I love him." Byakuya mutters after a while incapable to hold his tongue, surprising himself. "Why does he have to push me away? Am I not worthy of him?" He doesn't know what else to say. He feels like he has said too much._

"_You know what I told myself the first time I saw Ichigo-kun?" Nanahiko-san says after a while. "I said, wow, this is the man that lights the life of the others, even when he is scowling, even when he sighs. Your Ichigo is a good man, a really good man and maybe he just wants you to live the life to your fullest without him being a burden. But what he doesn't seem to realize is that you never see him as a burden."_

"_He has never been a burden to me. He's all I got. There's nothing – Nothing in this world without Ichigo."_

"_Then your love will prevail. You just have to have faith." Byakuya is startled when he feels her wrinkled hand on his forearm. She smiles kindly at him, like a grandmother would smile to a grandson. "I have never seen two people love each other as much as you do. Now go back to your Ichigo."_

"_My Ichigo…." He mutters. "You never call him my uncle." He remarks stupidly although he feels and knows now that Nanahiko-san is sure about the truth of their relationship._

"_Well, it's not like he is your uncle, is he?" She smiles wider and surely it's distracting but Byakuya feels like he loves her a little more. He embraces her quickly, some of Ichigo's sappiness rubbing on him after so many years spent together. "Now go to him, my boy. I am sure he waits for you."_

_Byakuya doesn't wait for something else. He gets up and goes back home to find a broken Ichigo with his jaw colored and his teary face looking at him and crying all of the sudden when he sees Byakuya as he is crawling into Byakuya's arms: "Please, don't ever leave me. Please, don't leave me." And the young man just keeps him closer to his chest, feeling the small heartbeat across from his and feeling that this, right there, is heaven. He knows that this is the last discussion they will ever have on this subject._

"Ichigo", he whispers slowly, as a small wondering tear crosses his cheek, "please, wake up." The other man remains tranquil in his obliviousness and that tears a new gaping whole in Byakuya. It hurts so much that he sobs without even knowing. The thing that he has feared the most has happened.

Over the years, as Ichigo drew closer to his old age, Byakuya feared increasingly the fact that Ichigo might die and leave him alone; that Ichigo might find himself in Soul Society with no recollection of what happened on earth. However now as he looks at his dead beloved husband, Byakuya can't keep at bay anymore that wretched fear and he drowns himself in an ocean of unbreakable pain. Ichigo isn't there anymore with him. Ichigo isn't there to laugh at him, telling him that he's being an insensitive asshole and that he should fucking move on. He's not there anymore to tease him with his resemblance to Byakuya's grandpa because apparently Ichigo has developed an even more cruel sense of humor.

"I never told you," he whispers with his voice strangled, "how utterly complete you make me feel, even at your worst times. How I would give up my immortality forever if I could spend a normal human life with you." His voice breaks even more for a second and he can't stop the sobs, he doesn't fight them anymore anyways. "How my world without you isn't worth living in. You'd better be there, Ichigo, when I return, and you'd better remember me, you bastard, because otherwise I will never forgive you. You hear me? I will never forgive you."

He kneels down in front of the chair and slowly embraces the legs of the man that he has loved so much and cries like he hasn't cried in his entire life. Not even Hisana's death had hit him so hard as Ichigo's death. There's a huge black hole where Ichigo used to be and he knows now that it won't be filled until he meets the man again. He doesn't care how Ichigo looks after death, he just wants him there again, next to him, wants his breath caressing his cheeks, wants his orange locks tickling his chin, wants that spicy yet sweet scent that it's entirely Ichigo, wants that gentle yet never wavering eyes on him again. He wishes he could have seen those chocolate eyes one more time for the nights that will come, even though they were a little glassy. He wants everything that is Ichigo back and that makes him cry even harder.

He doesn't know how long he stands like this, embracing the man that he loves, but he knows that it's time to announce their friends. He slowly rises and looks at the man that it's now just a shadow of the one that he loved. There's still that smile and Byakuya chooses to ignore the breathless hurt inside his chest and smiles a little back. At least he has gone with Byakuya in his mind and that's enough, he guesses.

The hardest phone call he has to make is the first one towards Karin. The strong willed woman has resented the fact that he and her brother have moved around so much, since they couldn't draw attention to the fact that Byakuya was never aging. She told her piece of mind to Byakuya once before she got married and the young aristocrat knew that she would hate him just a little more when he will have to give her the news.

She answers the phone after the third ring. She sounds a little breathless but young at heart as always:

"Yes?"

"Karin-san? This is Byakuya Kuchiki." There's a silence at the other end. He's painfully aware of the shaky breath and ragged breathing.

"He's gone, isn't he?" She asks in such a small voice that Byakuya feels tears prickling his eyes again.

"Yes, I came home and found him in his favorite chair. I think that his heart has given up."

"That big heart of his always got him in trouble." She says like she's that little kid again, admiring her brother, knowing how much he suffers because he sees ghosts and because of his silly hair and yet unable to protect him.

"Yeah…" That's all Byakuya can say without crying all over again.

"Was he in pain?"

"I don't think so. He has a smile on his face. I think he died peacefully."

"At least your bastards from Soul Society offered him that." She spits her anger in the receiver knowing fully well that it's not Byakuya's fault but unable to contain herself. "He fought for them so long, they wanted his help even when the doctors warned him that his heart was in danger, even after the accident. They owed him a peaceful death and …." Her voice cracks and Byakuya tightens his hand on the receiver like it might save his life. He remains silent because he knows that he can't offer her any support. He and Karin had a polite relationship at best.

"How are you holding up?" She asks all of the sudden surprising him because the tone is soft and warm like she has never been with him and it hits him even more.

"I'm not. I can't- he left me- he just…." Byakuya inhales sharply because he might start crying all over again and he doesn't think that this will help him to make the relationship between the two of them better.

"It will be better once you get to see him in Soul Society." She says warmly to him. "He can't forget you, Byakuya," and as she says that, he wonders how much Ichigo has truly confessed to his sister. "You'll get him back. My brother was many things, but he always defined himself through his love for you. He once told me that on his tombstone he would like to have written _the man that was loved by Byakuya_. He was proud – so proud of you, so don't doubt your happy ending. Please." She cries earnestly now and Byakuya cries silently at the other end. They share their pain in silent grieving and Byakuya has just gained new respect for Karin.

"Thank you." He whispers back and he knows that she recognizes the small bit of hope in his voice.

"You're welcome. I will call Yuzu, if that's ok with you."

"I was actually going to ask you that, if you don't mind."

"Well, be prepared for the most heart-wrenching sobs you'll hear ever. My sister is dramatic when it comes to sharing and caring."

"I know. I will call Ishida-san and Keigo-san. They will probably announce the others as well."

"Yes. Please, call Tatsuki separately though and right after me. You know how close they were."

"I will." Byakuya inhales deeply trying to forget about the hurt. "Thank you, Karin-san."

"You have nothing to thank me for. See you soon. Hang in there."

She hangs up and Byakuya calls Tatsuki next. Then Ishida and Keigo. Chad died a couple of years ago in a car accident, Mizuiro died of cancer more than a decade ago and Orihime is ill so Ishida won't say anything for now to her even if she will not forgive them for not letting her go to Ichigo's funeral. Keigo is hit hard and loses his composure as soon as he hears the news. His sister died at the beginning of this year so to lose two loved ones in such a short amount of time gets to him.

Byakuya starts to move then. In this village he has pretended to be Ichigo's nephew so everyone is more than happy to help him with the arrangements when they find out about the tragedy. The local police and Ichigo's assistant solve the legal issues as Byakuya prepares everything else. Soon everyone starts to flood in, taking over his house and the local hotel.

Byakuya is almost relieved although he resents them for filling their house. However as he closes the door of the bedroom that night, he can't help but crying hard in one of Ichigo's shirts, while covering with the other hand the empty space in the bed that won't ever be filled again. The sheets still smell like Ichigo and the shirt muffles his despair. Nobody from Soul Society has come to notify him of Ichigo's soul so he fears the worst. He hates everyone and he is set on punishing drastically every little one of them for not coming, not having the guts to tell him to his face that his beloved one has been taken away from him. He plans and schemes that night every utter revenge, even against his sister and brother in law. But as his eyelids close over his grey and sad eyes, images of him and Ichigo cloud his mind and melt the revenge ideas in a sea of love and pain.

Everything moves slowly afterwards. He doesn't remember much of the things that have happened. At the funeral all Ichigo's friends are present. Many people have come to pay their respects. For a moment he thinks that he has seen a familiar shape, a familiar shadow of the past but it's gone so quickly and he is too engrossed in his own pain to think of anything else. He feels empty and he gets a moment to breathe before he has to say a couple of words to the ones that have congregated there. He can't function properly and he feels like his clothes tighten on him, making him unable to breathe, making him feel like there's no air around him. The pain blinds him. He still has to solve the legal things in spite of the fact that he wants nothing more than be in Soul Society with Ichigo. But he can't. He accepts Karin and Yuzu's embraces, he's thankful for the fact that they take over the guests and he can retreat to his room to find the fading scent of his love.

In the following month things get tougher for Byakuya. He knows that he can't return without the proper means. He soon sells the house and the furniture, although Ichigo's favorite chair is given to Yuzu with part of their photos and history. She promises that she will keep them together. Her children are still devastated by the loss of their favorite uncle and they don't understand much the relationship that has been between their uncle and Byakuya, but they hug him anyways as he finally says good-bye. Orihime is still very ill when he goes to say good-bye to them too. She still doesn't talk to anyone after she found out about Ichigo's death. But when he comes inside her room she silently hugs him and whispers to his ear: "Take care of him. He's precious to me." Byakuya just nods and hugs her tighter. Keigo almost doesn't let him go. He feels like he loses the last remains of his connection to Ichigo and it hurts, but Byakuya's apprehension to what expects him in Soul Society drowns any form of pity and soon Kuchiki Byakuya vanishes from real world.

To say that his return to Soul Society is anti climatic is an understatement. But he feels like he hasn't felt in a long time. His skin doesn't constrict anymore and his wide robe over the dark uniform makes him feel respected again. The keikesan is in place again and his black jet hair falls softly over his shoulders. Everyone who sees him steps out of the way and Byakuya figures that he has to start looking for Ichigo almost immediately. He has to go home and wash himself and then finally go to see where his love might be.

"'Kuchiki-taichou, how nice of you to finally join us!" He listens to Ukitake's voice and for a moment he wants to smile, but then he remembers that he hasn't any reason to smile so he just shuts himself off.

"Not now, Ukitake-taichou." He snaps because he hates them all. It's true and he can't contain himself anymore. He hates them for not coming on earth and telling him what has happened. He hates them for being so tranquil when the love of his all life and eternity has been taken away from him, when he has to convince an old man that he is in love with him without telling him the truth if he doesn't remember. He hates them for letting him spend a month, a whole fucking month without any news, to an empty bed in an empty house where there was no sun and no moon and no stars where the world crumbled to its end because there was no Ichigo.

He flash-steps towards his mansion clearly missing the startled and somehow frightened look of the other shinigami. The cherry is in full blossom but he doesn't care. His servants greet him with joy and yet he doesn't care. No, it's not going to be like after Hisana, no, he won't take over his responsibilities until _after_ he sees Ichigo again.

"He's in the garden, Kuchiki-dono." A servant's gentle whisper finally penetrates his confining fog of pain and sorrow and he doesn't ask who is waiting for him. He has to deal probably with the sotaichou or with the head of the council of his family; it doesn't matter who he is, he has to be dealt with quickly so he can turn all his energy in finding Ichigo and then maybe he can….

The world stops. Byakuya takes a shallow breath but the pain in his chest holds him prisoner. Right there, in front of him it's Ichigo looking with intensity at him as he slowly turns. And Byakuya drinks his appearance because Ichigo is eighteen again. He looks like he has just defeated Aizen. His orange hair is slowly caressed by the gentle breeze and the warm brown eyes look at him with the intensity that only true love can give. He's dressed in a shinigami robe but Zangetsu is sitting close to a cherry tree. The sun kisses the tanned skin and Byakuya's chest clenches painfully. He wants to touch the hard muscles again; he wants to feel Ichigo writhing under him from too much touch and too much pleasure. He wants to grow familiar with that body again, but mostly he just wants to make sure that Ichigo isn't a hallucination.

Ichigo's smile is a little bit ironic.

"I have been waiting my whole life for you. Now you make me wait even after death. Hmm, I could write a book called _Waiting for Byakuya_ or something like-" Ichigo doesn't finish the sentence because in a split second Byakuya is there, kissing him like he hasn't kissed him before, tasting every corner of Ichigo's mouth, taking everything and leaving nothing so as to make the younger man his again. He licks and nips at his lips, his hands roaming on Ichigo's back as the young man groans in pleasure. Their bodies are flushed and Byakuya knows that he is finally home.

_OoO_

_A/N: Sorry, I have been MIA for so long. I kept trying to write another chapter before this one but apparently my muse has left me completely. So this is the first part of the longest chapter I have written for this story. I guess this is the beginning of the end. XD I want to thank again all the reviewers for their feedback and for all of you who read this story, alerted or favorited it. Thank you. _


	21. Afterlife: Ichigo

**Disclaimer: **Kubo Tite owns anything related to _Bleach_. I am definitely not him; I just borrow some of his characters for my own and hopefully your entertainment.

_**21. Afterlife - Ichigo**_

He remembers so vividly when that photo was taken. He remembers the gentle way in which Byakuya was caressing his small back; he remembers how Byakuya's sun-kissed skin tasted like. He remembers the way Yuzu smiled at them and cooked for them during those days, when even Karin was nice and polite to Byakuya. He smiles a little more ignoring the growing pain in his left side. He has got accustomed to feel the sharp pangs of his frail heart every day now. It's a little sad really how much he wants to turn back time and be that young in Byakuya's arms again. He can almost close his eyes and smell the salty air of the sea, the gentle crash of the waves against the shore, the small giggles that Yuzu frees in the air every time her husband tickles her. He can almost feel Byakuya's presence right next to him as he whispers gentle nothings in his ear.

He's so much immersed in his memories that he doesn't register the way his enormous heart finally collapses in him, a soft betrayal of its once power and his smile remains the same, thinking of Byakuya and the way he smiled at him that day at the beach.

"Wake up, stupid orange bastard. I don't have the whole day to sit around your ass." Renji's voice startles him and Ichigo realizes with heart-breaking regret that he is dead. He opens his eyes and sees himself staying next his body with a small smile on his face and Ichigo feels sudden pain. He thinks of the ones that he leaves behind, he thinks of his family and friends, but mostly he just thinks of Byakuya and how the older man will react. He wishes to stay a little longer and maybe say _good-bye_ to Byakuya. His heartbeat rises and isn't this ironic, but he feels like he might have a panic attack.

"Why did they have to send you after me, stupid red pineapple head?" He growls back, scowling at Renji like old times.

"Because nobody wanted to handle your freaking old disgusting ass." The red haired guy snaps back and Ichigo hasn't seen Renji in a very long time and looks like it's all the same. The same tattoos, the same red hair. Only the scowl is different as since he finally married Rukia, there's no reason for him to be mad at the world. He also chose to remain a lieutenant and acting as a captain for the sixth division out of respect for Byakuya. He just has his badge and that is all. Same Renji and yet so completely different than before.

"I will say what you have just told me to Byakuya when he returns." Ichigo's bravado doesn't impress anyone but it makes him feel a little better. "See what you have to say for yourself afterwards."

"Yeah, yeah, like you are going to remember that." Renji mumbles as he prepares himself to sent Ichigo's soul away. "You will remember, won't you?" His cat-like eyes watch Ichigo's face as it clouds in front of the uncertainty. "I mean, fuck it, I would rather have the captain bankai my ass then him being a prissy little bitch because you can't remember anything on top of being an old guy."

"Seriously, did they train you in the art of how to become such a stupid asshole or it just comes naturally to you, because I seriously think of breaking your ass as soon as I get back to Soul Society."

"Shut the fuck up. And stay the fuck away from my ass." Renji's scowl returns with a vengeance.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt your sensibilities?" Ichigo smirks. "And I'm sorry to say but your ass has nothing on Byakuya's ass so relax, princess. I won't do anything to you. But I will make sure to mention to Rukia how you treated her best friend after he died. That will teach you a lesson."

"You wouldn't." Renji pales as he turns Zabimaru to touch Ichigo's forehead.

"Oh, but I so will." Ichigo's voice cracks because he knows that soon he won't be with Byakuya for a while and who knows if he will remember any of this. "Renji…" there's hesitation in his voice and he feels like he is breaking but his world has just ended. He is allowed to get emotional. "Renji," he swallows hard, "can't we stay a little longer? Just to say goodbye to Byakuya." His voice breaks all over again. He hates it but he can't help it. "We didn't say goodbye. What if I don't remember him?"

"Ichigo," and it pains Renji to continue, "you know better. You know that we can't make exceptions. It will be all right. The captain will understand."

"But…"

"It's time, Ichigo. It's time to let go. Just for once, think about yourself. The longer you stay in between the worlds, the better chances for you to forget most of your life. Please, just let me do this."

Ichigo ponders for just a second but he knows better so in the end he just nods, although his heart screams for Byakuya, although he wants nothing more than to wait for him just a little longer so he can say goodbye to his husband the proper way, to promise him eternity and to fight together against the oblivion that might settle between the two of them.

"Try to remember us, Ichigo. Please, try to remember us." Renji whispers in a small voice and he's frightened. Ichigo can see that in his eyes and he is terrified that he will lose this gentle banter with his best friend. But mostly he feels like his entire world slips through his fingers because he knows how Byakuya will feel. He thinks about his sisters and he thinks about his friends and his patients. He wants so badly to stay a little longer. But as Zabimaru finally touches his forehead, he slips into oblivion and somehow it's a blessing.

**oOo**

He stirs awake as the sun slowly caresses his head and the gentle grass feels so soft under his head. A scent of fresh grass and flowers kissed by the sun invades his nostrils. It's enough to make his eyelids flutter open. Incredible blue sky without a cloud houses the sun that shines like he hasn't seen it before. Its rays gently glide past the green leaves of the tree. He's under a tall tree and the wind whispers tenderly between the branches and leaves.

He decides to stand up and look around. He's on a hill, surrounded by other valleys of green grass and wonderful trees. He doesn't know where he is now and for a moment he wonders what has happened. How he got there. The swift breeze chases away the unsettling thoughts. He doesn't know where he is or who he is for that matter but it's comforting to stay like that.

He sighs a little as he feels the soft black material caressing its way down his legs. Uhm, he is dressed in a black uniform and he has a really big sword next to him. He must be a goddamn hero if he has this monstrosity of a sword… Zangetsu. That's the name of the sword. He likes it. He likes that a lot and in spite of the confusion that surrounds his thoughts, it's almost comforting to know that the sword is there like a part of him that was never gone.

_Well, you haven't been a hero in so long, that's for sure, King_.

"Shut up, stupid hallow."

_Oh, goodie, he remembers me_. He can almost feel his hollow rolling his eyes. _But you have completely forgotten who you are, haven't you?_

"I don't remember anything." He stays silent for a moment just as a breeze caresses his orange locks. It's such a soothing thing that he relaxes even more and for a moment closes his eyes. Suddenly an image of grey eyes and really black hair invades his mind. He opens quickly his eyes as if the possessor of the eyes would appear all of a sudden right next to him. He looks around of him. There's nobody there. But that's somehow comforting.

He slowly cracks his shoulders a little bit and then his neck. He feels a little better after this. It's amazing to feel a strong heart within his chest, he feels young and there's such a huge energy exploding within his skin, electrifying the air around him that he feels like he might blow.

_Well, I guess I should be grateful that at least you turned young again. 'Cause seriously that old body was killing me. Actually it killed you, so I guess it doesn't matter anymore._

"I am dead?" There's such a huge amazement in his voice that the hallow rolls again and laughs really hard.

_Oh, God, I am seriously going to enjoy this_. He says between rolls of laughter. _You seriously suck, if you don't remember anything. Oh, I can only imagine how disappointed he will be. Actually I'm not sure about that since he gets your young ass again. Maybe he will forgive you for this_.

"Who the fuck is _he_? And stop laughing like a lunatic."

_Yeah, 'cause I'm not a lunatic, no, not at all_.

"God, just could you-"

"Fuck, Ichigo, could you maybe turn down your reiatsu?" A red-haired guy screams in anger and Ichigo looks at him mildly surprised. "You may fucking kill someone if you don't turn it down."

"I don't know who you are, but you can stop ordering me right the fuck now." Ichigo scowls and he picks his gigantic sword as if it has always been within his hand. He sees a flash of hurt in the eyes of the other and that makes Ichigo hesitate a little bit. He doesn't get out from his defensive mode but he relaxes himself enough to make all that energy from him not crashing in waves over the others.

_They are your friends, King. Don't you remember?_ There's apprehension in his hollow's voice and he wonders if it's just a trick of his mind. But he knows that his hallow would never dare to put him in danger. They feed of each other.

"Who are you?" He asks again as he finally sees that the red-haired guy is surrounded by other people as well. There's a small woman with raven hair, who looks at him with sadness and hope at the same time. There's a tall guy with a beard and the face looks familiar even if the man frowns and there's another man with long white hair who has a really kind expression on his face.

"My name is Abarai Renji. She is my wife, Rukia. This is captain Ukitake Jyuunshiro and this is…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Ichigo interrupts scowling. There's that apprehension again within his bones. "Look, it's nice to stay here and chat with you but I'm afraid I don't remember exactly who you are so if you'll excuse me…. I just need to find where the man with the grey eyes is." His heart flutters a little bit at the thought of the mysterious man. He almost feels strong hands coming around him, he almost feels gentle whispers and almost hears loving words. He has the strong conviction that if he just finds the man, then everything will be all right and he will remember everything.

"Look, Ichigo," says the young woman, "we are all your friends and we just want what's good for you. Now if you could just come with us…" She takes a step towards him and Ichigo tenses all over again, tightening his grip of Zangetsu.

"Yeah, I don't think so, lady. I mean, yeah, I don't remember much, but I'm not stupid enough to follow strangers, who pretend to be my friends. You just point me in the right direction and I will be on my way."

"We can't let you run around, son." The bearded man says and Ichigo scowls even more. "You're a liability at the moment. Your reiatsu is all over the place and I think it's most advisable to come with us."

"Most advisable?" Ichigo hisses. "If you're all my friends, old man, then you should all know how I would react. Tell me why hasn't he come with you?"

"Who?" Asks the man with the white hair and Ichigo gets more and more impatient.

_Calm down, King. They are friends and family and all they want is to help you._

"Shut up, stupid hallow. Go back to sleep and let me handle this."

_Suit yourself. But don't say I didn't warn you._

"Whatever." Ichigo looks back at the tensed people in front of him. He doesn't like the situation one bit. He knows that he is strong and that this sword definitely will help him defeat the most of them but he doesn't like the thought of violence. Maybe the hallow was right and these were his friends at some point in his life, but now as he talks to them, as he stands here, he feels like he's losing something. Like maybe he should concentrate on finding the man with the grey eyes and black hair. He doesn't remember anything about him but he feels the soul link between the two of them and feels like something is broken. "The man with grey eyes… where is he?"

"Ichigo, do you mean nii-sama?" Rukia asks in a softer tone. Her face shows kindness and patience for what he is about to say.

"He means Byakuya?" The white-haired man asks and the name makes Ichigo swallow hard. Byakuya? Byakuya… Yes, the name of the man. _He_ will be able to settle everything; _he_ will make things better, if Ichigo can just reach him.

"Yes, Byakuya." He says with confidence. "I need to know where he is."

"He's in the real world, Ichigo." The sadness in the bearded man makes Ichigo tense even more. He says the real world like he isn't in one. "He won't be back for a while."

"Then I will go after him." He replies resolute in his will to reach the man.

"I'm afraid that we can't let you do that."

Oh, and if this isn't a wrong choice of words, Ichigo doesn't know what else could this be. His whole body tenses so much and his reiatsu spikes at a whole new level that everyone gathered there takes a step back.

"Then you're of no use to me." His body remembers everything even if his mind is sluggish. He remembers how to flash-step, he remembers how to hide his reiatsu, he remembers how to hide himself, to make himself inconspicuous. He doesn't want to fight. He just wants to leave from here, even though it was peaceful. He just wants to find… Byakuya. His whole body trembles with the desire to see that man.

He disappears in an instant leaving those strangers behind, running towards new places, thinking of ways to see that man, of finding a way to go back to the real world. It takes a bit of time but he loses them. He tries to cool off, to remember something, _anything_, that might help him. But there's nothing related to who he is. On the contrary, it's all about the man with the grey eyes. His face, his hair. Elegant fingers. Strong arms. Lithe body.

He stops to breathe raggedly. He's closer to an abandoned hut and he enters it. The night draws near and he has to stop and think some sort of a plan. He tries to calm his breath but he doesn't succeed. He wants this Byakuya so much, his heart constricts in his chest. Where is he? Why hasn't he come for him? Why did he let those strangers come for him? Why? He settles on a mat full of dust and looks out on the broken window towards the darkening sky. Where is he? What is this world? And what did they mean when they said that Byakuya is in the real world.

Byakuya, Byakuya, Byakuya… He repeats the name like a mantra, like something that should bring him peace. But it doesn't. A huge need just wraps itself around his heart, making him gulping for air. He needs to find the grey-eyed man. He _must_ find him. Blackness surrounds him as his breaths become shallower. Why Byakuya hasn't come for him?

_It is all right if you forget me. It is all right if you will be an old man with no spiritual energy whatsoever. Everything will be all right, as long as you will let me stay by your side._ The profound voice says with yearning and love. _Everything will be all right as long as I will be with you and you will be with me. Have patience and I promise that I will find you. Nothing will stand between us. I will find you. _

Ichigo wakes up with a start. His head hurts really badly and he wonders briefly where he is. Flashbacks come to his mind as if from another life, flashbacks that make his head spin and the pain so atrocious that he gasps and tries to not puke. He's painfully aware of the fact that his spiritual energy has gone berserk again but the pain he's in is too strong and he doesn't have the power to control it at the moment. Byakuya appears in most of the flashbacks, but they aren't of the good kind. He remembers fighting with the man, almost killing him, he remembers throwing bad words at each other. And yet he knows that there's something more between the two of them.

He wants to remember so badly that he doesn't even notice Abarai and the other people from yesterday standing above him with soothing hands and whispering him to calm down.

"Why does it hurt so bad?" he hisses through clenched teeth, standing in a fetal position as wave after wave of pure pain engulfs his body.

"Because you're doing something that nobody has done before. You're trying to remember everything. You should stop."

"No, I want to remember. I _need_ to remember him."

Then suddenly that energy hits him really hard and he collapses within himself crying in agony as a white veil strangles him. He can't breathe as memories crush in his mind, making everything spin.

_Relax, king. You are just remembering everything. It will hurt but it's fucking necessary_.

He wants to say something more but he can't because there's just this incredible pain. He knows all of the sudden that it's not natural to remember the life you once had and the fact that he does and he is young again makes the things even more confusing. But right now all that he wants is to crawl out of his skin as he feels this inconceivable pain. He remembers his loving family and seeing his mother dying, he remembers meeting with Tatsuki and Chad, he remembers Keigo and Orihime and Mizuiro. He remembers Rukia and Renji and he knows that something misses from the picture. Dark raven hair. Grey eyes looking at him with coldness and then passion and then love. Warm hands caressing him softly, sweet nothings whispered in his ears, gentle arms cradling him. Safety and an eternity of love. Home.

"BYAKUYA!" He screams through the pain, invoking the name of his husband as if that might bring him right by his side. "Byakuya! Byakuya!" He says sobbing as the damn pain finally subsides letting him a whimpering mess.

"Oh, great, you remember him, but not us." Rukia's voice penetrates to the fog that finally dissipates from his brain.

"Like you would remember me instead of your husband first. Green really doesn't suit you, midget."

"Stop calling me that."

Ichigo slowly opens his eyes and looks at the familiar faces that surround him. He's happy to see his father who hugs him almost as soon as he opens his eyes. It's comforting to know that his old man is there because this seriously is weird.

"How is it possible that I am young again and not only do I have my powers, but I also remember everything as well?"

"We don't know yet, Kurosaki-kun." Ukitake answers slowly. "Sotaichou thinks that it must have something to do with your incredible powers and how much they have developed during your human years. He was sure though that you were going to remember everything."

"I see. " Ichigo whispers drained of any energy. "What about Byakuya?"

People look a little bit surprised at that but Rukia finally decides to take the matter in her own hands. She looks gently at him and pets his hair before finally daring to say:

"He has remained in the real world, taking care of all the business that you have left behind. Also it's an order from the sotaichou. We don't know much but this was discussed between the two of them before nii-sama came on earth."

"And what am I supposed to do now?"

"Apparently nii-sama has decided that you should take his place until he returns and take care of the Kuchiki affairs."

"How the hell should I do that?" Ichigo scowls and Rukia slaps him over the head. "Don't hit me, woman. Come on. You know as well as I do that this is a really bad idea."

"It's not bad if it comes from nii-sama." She pouts and Ichigo just rolls his eyes. There are many other things that he should ask, but one is nagging him more than the others.

"So when is he going to come back?" He mumbles and they all look like their favorite puppy has died because they surely don't want to answer this question.

"In a couple of days, Ichigo." Isshin finally answers and Ichigo knows that's the best he can do for now.

"I see. Well then, Rukia, may I tell you what your beloved husband told me when I died?"

"Don't you dare, carrot face!"

"Suck it, pineapple. Told you I would tell, didn't I?"

He finds out that Soul Society has changed little since he has last been there. He knew already how time in the human world is different from the one in the after world. It still startles him that things seem to barely move around there. There are the same captains and lieutenants except from some of the divisions that have been affected the worst by Aizen's war. His father is now captain of third division while Hiroki Shinji has retaken his position as the captain of the fifth. Kensei Muguruma has become captain of the ninth again with Shuuhei acting like his lieutenant, while Mahiro had taken over the third seat. The sixth division hasn't been taken by anyone as Renji has been acting as a captain for it. They were all waiting though for Byakuya to return.

By the time he arrives at the manor, there's only Ichigo and his father left. He stops in front of the manor as the guards posted bow deeply to him. Ichigo almost recoils at the gesture. He looks desperately at his father who puts a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You can do this."

"I just want him to return to me."

"He will but things are difficult for him at the moment. Remember that you have died in the real world and there are things to be taken care of."

"Can't I just go to him and tell him everything is fine? The man will have a heart attack by the time he comes back here."

"I'm sorry but sotaichou has considered that Byakuya shouldn't be informed of anything like any other mortal."

"But…"

"Ichigo, there's no point in arguing with me over this. Unfortunately sotaichou has been more than supportive with Byakuya and his love for you. I think that the least you could right now is to show him the same respect that he has shown you. "

"I know, dad, but it's difficult to know that Byakuya is in pain and I can't do anything about it. The last few years have been tough on us, dad, tougher than I would have thought they would be."

"Have patience, Ichigo. You will see soon that you will be reunited." His father inhales deeply. "How are the girls?"

"They are great. Well, at least they were until I died." Ichigo's frown deepens. "Do you think that they will be all right?"

"I am sure they will be. In time. So what do you plan on doing after Byakuya comes back? Take over a division?"

"No, I don't think so. I feel like there's much for me to learn, dad. I think I will go and join the academy. Maybe learn to do some of the other things too. I don't want to step over boundaries and assume that I should be given a high position."

"I raised you well, my son." Isshin hugs him again and whispers in his ear. "I missed you, Ichigo. I am happy that we meet again." Ichigo claws at his father's white robe tighter because he feels happy and touched by the whole thing and knows that this sort of moment won't happen again any time soon."

"Ok, then." Isshin breaks the hug. "Go inside, relax and take care of the other business because soon when your husband comes, he won't let you get away from the house for weeks."

"Dad, Jesus, could you be more crude?"

"And you, could you be more prude?" His father laughs heartily at him and then flashes leaving Ichigo alone in front of the Kuchiki manor. To say how embarrassed he feels when he's received like the master of the house is the understatement of the year.

The servants treat him really well and there's no snicker or smirk when he misses something. They have a certain type of affection for him like he is a stray cat that must be taught manners again. The council of the old men treats him even better and later he finds out through Radio-gossip Renji that they feel incredible proud and conceited for the fact that such an incredible powerful individual like Ichigo has joined the Kuchiki family. He is after all the one that ruined Aizen's any chance to rule over Soul Society. Sometimes Ichigo feels like he is praised too much.

All is fine and well, but at night as he wonders through the manor; he looks for Byakuya's presence. It's getting more and more difficult to be patient when all he wants to see is his love, when all he wants to touch is his husband's body. Especially when those few days turn into weeks.

Rukia finds out about his wonderings from some concerned servants, who thought that they were doing something wrong. He explains how difficult it is to live without Byakuya, or without a wedding ring on his finger. And Rukia listens because she understands him and Ichigo feel less lonely but at night he still can't sleep.

The problem is that all his life now, or most of it anyways, he has slept next to Byakuya and no matter how well intended his friends are, he still craves to feel those arms around him, to hear those soft snores, to keep himself together through those soft breaths. Rukia seems to understand but she doesn't. Not really. She hasn't been going through what they have been gone through and she doesn't know how it's like to not have his wedding ring on his finger anymore, how there's no more marks on his body from his husband, how there's nothing on him that reminds him of Byakuya. Sometimes in the middle of the night, he feels like he can't breathe, he suffocates and he tenses in the sheets because he is all alone. And he doesn't know how to be without Byakuya anymore. He stares at the ceiling and he hopes that sleep will come.

It doesn't. It never comes, or it comes when the first rays of sun touch Soul Society and by then he is too tired and too exhausted. And the servants worry and the councilmen worry, but he can't explain to them that no matter what they try, it's not them. It's just him, waiting for the man that stole away his heart to finally come home. At night he wanders through the mansion and checks every corner of the house. Sometimes he falls asleep in Byakuya's studio, where there are papers neatly folded and a military air around it, but Ichigo likes it because it reminds him the most what his husband means to him, what he wants from him, what he waits for.

It's how the servants find him one morning, curled in a small ball, next to Byakuya's desk, and they feel like their hearts are breaking a little with the way the young master misses the older master. They try to convey their sympathies; they try to make him rest a little bit so he smiles guiltily because he doesn't want them to worry.

He's resting a little bit in the garden. He has refused to wear any glamorous clothes, so he's dressed in his shinigami robe and he lets Zangetsu to rest a little bit on the near cherry tree. He inhales the crisp air and tries to relax even for some small moments. He thinks about the time he and Byakuya spent in a small town, the first out of many, when he felt that he missed his friends, when he resented Byakuya for a while, when all he wanted was to go back to Karakura, where he has lived all his life. And Byakuya was stoically standing next to him, for months silent and patient as he has always been, knowing full well that Ichigo misses many things. He remembers how one night they just stood in the balcony, watched the small town and Ichigo felt finally at peace with his decision. It hit him hard back then when his father finally died, when he had to go alone to the funeral. Upon his returning, Byakuya curled in the bed next to him as Ichigo had finally dared to cry. After that, moving had become a lot easier, especially when his sisters moved too.

He feels like he might break soon if he doesn't see Byakuya. He stares at the blue sky and wishes with all his might for this lonely period to be over. All of the sudden there's the spiritual pressure that it's so familiar that it brings tears to Ichigo's eyes.

There was a time when he felt strongly compelled to crush that reiatsu, to open it, to make it more human. There was a time when he fought hard against that reiatsu, when he felt small and insignificant. There was a time when that reiatsu made him feel like he might lose forever the power to be happy, the power to be loved, as that reiatsu was the significant proof that he won't be loved any time soon by the man that he wanted. He waits now patiently in the garden and when he finally sees him, those grey eyes that look like they have hunger and lust and love all put in one, Ichigo feels like he is at home.

"I have been waiting my whole life for you. Now you make me wait even after death. Hmm, I could write a book _Waiting for Byakuya_ or something like-" Ichigo doesn't finish the sentence because in a split second Byakuya is there, kissing him like he hasn't kissed him before, tasting every corner of Ichigo's mouth, taking everything and leaving nothing so as to make the younger man his again. He licks and nips at his lips, his hands roaming on Ichigo's back as the young man groans in pleasure.

And Ichigo knows that there's nothing left for him to do except enwrap the waist of the man in his arms and pray that they won't be separated again in their eternity. Their bodies are connected in every way possible but Ichigo doesn't care. In his mind there's just the utter desire to be covered by Byakuya's marks again, by Byakuya's scent. It makes him so happy … this simple moment in which he finally can taste Byakuya's lips, as they lovingly and oh, so carefully kiss his own.

When they finally come up for air, Byakuya looks at him with so much love that Ichigo feels intoxicated with it.

"Not as much as I have been waiting for you", the older man finally replies and Ichigo smiles sadly at him.

"I know, my love, I know. I tried to convince them to let me come to you, but they wouldn't let me."

"It's ok. It's enough for me to know that you remember me. I came home just to wash myself and then I was going to look for you, find you and maybe convince you that you loved me in another life." Ichigo slowly caresses Byakuya's face with his hand. His thumb draws small circles in the man's left cheek.

"Would you have wanted me even if I was gross and old and with flask muscles and grey hair?"

"I would have wanted you no matter what. You are far too important to me, Ichigo." Byakuya's breath catches and Ichigo knows the his death was a terrible blow to the proud captain. Byakuya hugs him again and his hands clench in Ichigo's robe. The young man smiles a little as silent tears fall on his cheeks. It's too much to be loved like this and at the same time it's not enough. Their hearts beat as one and feels the dampness on his shoulder but he doesn't care. They are both crying but no one can blame them. They are finally as one again and this time Ichigo will make sure that there won't be anything to separate them other than missions.

Ichigo doesn't know how much they stay like that but he feels safe and loved and it's more than enough for him. Then slowly Byakuya unclenches his hands from his robe and takes his hand and unhurriedly makes Ichigo come into their room. And the young man laughs and the sun catches his hair and Byakuya falls in love a little more. They both know that they won't leave the bedroom until tomorrow. And they don't feel bothered by it. In the end they have to get reacquainted again and their bodies beg for it. The reality that will probably hit them tomorrow can wait another day.

_oOo_

_A/N: This is the second part of this huge chapter. Next time it will be the final part from someone else's point of view and then the epilogue. XD In the mean time thank you, dear reviewers, for leaving a word. It means a lot especially since I felt that my muse left me completely. My thanks also go to all of you who read/ alert/ favorite this story. _


	22. Afterlife: Kenji

**Disclaimer: **_Bleach_ belongs to Kubo Tite. I'm not him. Enough said.

_**22. Afterlife - Kenji**_

The Rukongai rats give way to the white mantle of the captain and the small man hidden behind the other people watches him with the same adoration with which the most infamous rats from this neighborhood do. For it is Kurosaki Ichigo, captain of the first division of the gotei 13, after a special order of the sotaichou. For he is the captain that every once in a while comes to hear their complaints and tries to help them, while smiling sadly when he sees that even in the after life people aren't as happy as they should be. For it is the captain that jokes with the men, is polite with the ladies and plays with the children. Usually a cold raven man, whose eyes tremble softly when they settle on the strong form that's known as Kurosaki Ichigo, accompanies him.

The man feels weaker as the young man approaches. It's the strong spiritual energy, which makes him feel dizzy. It was one of the harshest things he has learned since he died. He doesn't possess much. The ones that called themselves _Chamber 46_ considered him a strange case: he was remembering his previous life but he had a very weak reiatsu and the slightest stronger spiritual energies could kill him. So it's dangerous to be near the young captain, who is so kind with them all but who can't control very much his own force. There had been improvements though because the young man strives to make things better for them. He is one of the few people who are truly generous and who don't judge.

His blue eyes wonder on the young captain's posture. It is said that in spite of his resemblance to an eighteen year old, this orange sun has defeated Aizen and the ones that tried to hurt Soul Society. He's a walking myth among mere humans and the weak man feels like he returned to reality where everybody knew just how special the young captain was. His orange hair always catches the sun light as if even the sun likes to play with his hair, leaving its small imprints on the man's face, letting those warm darker than wine eyes move softly over the things that surround him. And when he laughs, the people laugh with him because they feel better and they know that he's with them, one of them no matter how much his companion, the dark haired man, seems to dislike that.

Unlike the cold captain, captain Kurosaki has not only a different posture, but also a different way of wearing his uniform. Both his haori and his hakama are sleeveless showing his strong arms. A giant sword hangs on his back right next to a child who cried before but now is laughing happily. The Kurosaki effect is just like that. The child says something and Ichigo laughs revealing his white teeth; he turns to captain Kuchiki and smiles deviously. The older man rolls his eyes but he can't stop from smiling too. The woman that takes care of the child smiles when she goes to take her son and Ichigo beams at her like he just doesn't want to leave his playmate alone. She says something and this time it is the older man's turn to laugh when he sees Ichigo pouting like a small girl. The people around the two of them smile too. There are far too many occasions to get sad and far too rare occasions to get happy. Today is a good day.

The two captains leave soon the neighborhood; as such he can finally get out of his small space. He would like to go after him, but for now he is just thankful to be able to see the young man the way he does everyday without much hope of ever speaking with him.

"Hey, Kenji, go and take care of table six!" his boss yells.

"I'm on it!" He yells back. He inhales a little, hoping that maybe the scent of the one who has been his greatest love still lingers in the air. But there's no wild scent mixed with something soft so he knows there's no hope left. He will live another day, through another week so he can see him again.

Days pass uneventful here in Rukongai if you have a steady job and he likes his. Of course, in the 56 years, 3 months and 19 days he got time to get used to it, he got time to regret and repent and want to move along. When _Chamber 46_ heard that he still retains his memories, they wanted to annihilate him. Phrases like "abomination" and "mistake", "pathetic soul" and "evil at heart" were used when describing his situation. Surprisingly it had been a dark haired man who saved him. And when he mumbled his thanks, still reluctantly, but with some sincerity to his words, the cold man replied:

"You know that I would do anything for Ichigo and saving you is one of them. But I don't want him to meet you, I don't want him to lay his eyes on you for you have hurt him more than I could explain to you."

"I regret that." He replied chocked by the tears that wouldn't fell.

"I know that, but it's a little too late, isn't it?" Those grey orbs have settled on him then. "If it were up to me, I would destroy every particle of your soul for what you have done to him back then. Here nobody would care about you. But he would never forgive me for this and I can't live with that."

"But I truly love him. I just didn't know how to show it."

"I know you do. In case you haven't noticed, Ichigo is a well-loved person. And by God, I know how difficult it is to live in the shade, away from the sun of his soul. But I don't want you to taint him. He's finally happy and there's no more hiding. Stay away from him."

He was left to his own devices to get along in a world that wasn't explained to him. Nonetheless he wanted to be part of it, so he was happy that he found a job. He might say that he has some friends too. But at night he can still see the anger and the betrayal in those warm brown eyes and he wants to cry but he can't. Like always there's that incredible pain in his chest like he's repeatedly stabbed with a blunt object but no matter how much he tries, he can't escape it. It's embedded within his soul. Its cause is of course his love for the orange wonder and the regret he has in the way he has acted.

He likes to remember other times when he has seen Ichigo. In the last decade he has come to know that Ichigo likes to train the new recruits in open air, not in the stiff training grounds of the Gotei 13. So every once in a while Kenji liked to go there, to those places where they trained, because most of the times he has a chance of seeing him. He still remembers one of the first times he saw Ichigo washing his face near the river where he has trained along with some of his men.

The orange locks glittered in the powerful rays of the sun. The muscles of his arms moved and twitched as Ichigo washed his face and the arms in the hope of cooling himself a little bit, the small drops of water worshipping the tanned skin. Everything made him absolutely edible in every way and Kenji realized that he wasn't the only one aware of how good Ichigo looked. There were all in all fifteen shinigamis, probably new recruits and they were all looking at him like he was the sun and they were mere planets gravitating around him.

"Aoga, you have to pay more attention to your surroundings." Ichigo said in a strong face looking at a shinigami next to him. "A battle isn't won just by being powerful." The young man blushed under the scrutiny of his captain. It's very strange how much Ichigo affects the people around him or with whom comes into contact.

"Yes, captain. I'll try to be better next time." The young man stuttered and Kenji rolled his eyes. Was there anyone in the real world or in this after world that didn't fall under the spell of the Kurosaki charm? Hard to say.

"You are already better." Ichigo's face softened. "Gather the en. We are going back."

"Yes, captain. Thank you." But Aoga didn't have to do much because the recruits were already crowded around the captain seeking his attention. They all smiled and Kenji could see how much they loved to be there, how much they admired Ichigo, and how proud they were to be chosen. It filled Kenji with a strange possessiveness. But this is what harmed everything between Ichigo and him. Even back then.

**oOo**

In the haze of the pain and the guilt that still torments him, he can still remember the taste of those lips, the faint brush, pliant for just one second. The way the lean body writhed under him, the hard muscles that drove him crazy. He can still feel that lingering brush of lips, he can still taste them and he can still imagine them when he's alone. In moments like this, it's hard to stop himself from wanting to go right now to Ichigo, to show himself to him, to ask forgiveness and then maybe just _maybe_ he can have a shot at being friends again. Although his arms still crave to hold that body, although his lips still want to taste those lips, although his knees still want to kneel in front of that man and worship every single patch of skin available, Kenji knows, _oh, how he knows_, that his orange death god won't see him like that.

He can still remember his human life, how people blamed him silently for what he had done to Ichigo, how Sumeragi-sama threatened him to expose him and then destroy him, if he ever did something like that again. He had been like a petulant child when he was moved to a different floor but then he still got to see Ichigo, still got to crave to kiss him. And then one day, out of the blue, Ichigo announced that he was moving away, shocking everybody but freezing his blood in the veins. Kenji couldn't believe it. It wasn't hard living without Ichigo as long as the man was next to him, but then he was leaving and everything was starting to fall apart around him.

It hurt so much to be away from him, not seeing him. During the party on his last night at the hospital, Kenji finally dared to approach him, to wish him good luck with a mumbled voice while Ichigo looked at him with a sad smile on his face. And just as he was about to ask for forgiveness, they had been interrupted and Kenji couldn't find the courage anymore to approach the man again. Afterwards, when Ichigo wasn't in his life anymore, the days became greyer just like that lucky man's eyes. He was doing his duty but he couldn't see the meaning in all that anymore. There were days when he didn't want to wake up anymore.

During those times, he usually fucked people who resembled even remotely to Ichigo. He looked for warm chocolate eyes and some vibrant shade of color of the hair. It never worked and Kenji found himself drowning more and more into a bottomless pit of despair. It was Sumeragi-sama that finally called him one day in his office. His strong young face made him feel suddenly ashamed and he wondered if he was fired.

"I understand, you know?" The young head of the hospital said. His eyes were full of understanding and pity and Kenji felt a sudden lump in his throat.

"What?" He managed to croak out.

"How it's like to love a person that doesn't love you back. More than you'll know." He sighed a leaned a little closer towards the desk and Kenji resented the fact that all of the sudden he has become so transparent. "But Ichigo won't be back, Saitou-san. You got to get used to the idea. And even if he did, he would never befriend you again since you have betrayed his trust."

"I know, I know" he replied stiffly. "There's no need to remind me that again. I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Saitou-san. You look like you can't breathe at times. You look like you're in constant pain, worse than that of your patients. On the one side it had made you a far better doctor than you have ever been; on the other side, it kills you slowly but surely. Unrequited love, Saitou-san, isn't romantic; it's just painful. Really painful. And you must move on, Saitou-san, unless you want it to kill you."

"I really do sometimes." He whispers lost for words when he realized all of the sudden what he has said. The shocked eyes of his boss said even more and the silence that stretched between the two of them was deafening. He felt the compelling need to take them back, to hide them in his very soul, but words fly away just like feelings and he let them fly in the imposing room.

"Ichigo wouldn't like to hear that, Saitou-san. He would probably hate himself for it. He would blame himself, not you."

"Yes, I know. He's kind at heart like that." There was defeat in his words and Sumeragi-sama recognized it for what it was.

There was no point in discussing it anymore and when he left the office, he passed by the nurse's station. Some of them were discussing and when they saw him, they greeted him politely but icily. They hated him and they considered him fully responsible for Ichigo's leaving. Kenji wanted to defend himself, but in the end he wasn't capable of doing anything, for he didn't know the truth. For all he knew, he was at fault, pushing the boundaries, claiming someone that he had no business in claiming in the first place.

When he finished work that night, he went home, changed clothes and then went back in the streets. He felt lost and didn't know what to do so he entered a bar close to his apartment hoping that the alcohol would drown his sorrows for good. That's were he met Ran.

**oOo**

Ran is… well, he's special. Ran is the owner of the bar and from the very beginning, after he hears the story, he has no problems in telling Kenji he had been an asshole and that he probably deserved more than a punch and some mild threats. Kenji is too drunk to argue and he knows that there's no point in doing anything so he sleeps in the room offered by Ran and soon becomes friends with the atypical bar owner. For one, Ran likes to play the piano at the most ungodly hour. He doesn't tell Kenji whom he loved in the past, he doesn't tell him what makes him sleep so few hours at night and though he admits he's gay too, he never makes a pass at him. It is sort of disconcerting but Kenji likes it and soon he becomes a regular in the bar. Most of the times he just goes to hang out with Ran who is cool and slightly reminds him of the roughness around the edges that Ichigo had too.

But Ran is nothing like Ichigo. For starters he has the blackest eyes Kenji had seen in a man. They are storm like, filled with promises that Kenji won't see ever fulfilled and with dark secrets that are never going to be revealed. His brown hair is cut very short and most of the times it is arranged messily. Ran always wears only tees and jeans, and he has a black tattoo on most of his back, one that Kenji won't see for almost a year and even then it will be more accidental than anything else. But what fascinates Kenji even more are Ran's hands. They seem so strong and yet so fragile with those long fingers, which seem to look for something to caress. Ran is nothing like Ichigo, which in the long run proves to be incredibly benefic for Kenji. He starts to learn how to breathe again, although the pain remains and it eats him surely but strongly from the inside.

But Ran takes him to concerts, plays for him in the middle of the night and scowls at him when he says that he should have apologized to Ichigo before going, that he might regret losing that chance. It's Ran that teaches him that love is selfless when he finally realizes why Ran never has a boyfriend, why he acts like he has lost his love. Ran is in love with a married man that he is so in the closet that's not even funny. The man loves Ran, Kenji can see it in his eyes, but he's too much of a coward to do anything against it. But Ran doesn't blame him; he doesn't hold grudges. Kenji sees for the very first time what love truly means and he starts wondering what he felt for Ichigo.

Ran tells him he misunderstood the concept of love. And although Kenji explains that there were moments when he felt the need to be with Ichigo, Ran tells him it was more of an obsession that anything else. An obsession that ruined what might have been a beautiful friendship. It hurts Kenji to hear all those things but Ran doesn't stop at that. He tells him how selfish he had been towards Ichigo, how dirty the young man must have felt being touched like that, heart-broken that a good friend like him might have betrayed him in such a manner.

Kenji hates Ran. In fact he hates him so much that he leaves and he doesn't come back at the bar for more than two months. Ran doesn't call him and he just lets him leave with a sad smile upon his face, a smile that makes Kenji hate him even more. He takes more hours at hospital and all of the sudden starts to care more about his patients. The nurses are surprised by this change but they don't say anything. Their attitudes though change a little bit and every once in a while, he will find more coffee in his office or he will wake up with a blanket that he didn't have before. But at night, or when he gets home, he has no place to hide and his soul aches so much.

One afternoon he comes home after an almost 48 hours shift and as soon as he closes the doors he gets down, with his back near the door and starts crying. It's the first time he had ever done that since he lost Ichigo. Not that he ever had him. But at least back then, he had his respect, his friendship. But now? He had nothing. _Nothing_. He cries so hard it hurts. The sobs sear his back, and his chest and he can't almost breathe. It hurts so bad to be left behind, to do such a huge mistake, to know now that he shouldn't have done that, that he truly fucked up. He cries and he doesn't bother thinking that his neighbors might hear that. He just lets those painful sobs leave his being because it gets just too hard to let them stay. When will this pain go away? When will he ever be happy again?

There aren't any answers to his pain and he falls asleep near the door, dreaming of orange locks and warm chocolate eyes that look at him with forgiveness in their rich color. He wakes up full of cramps and he calls the hospital to have a free day. He receives one and he finally manages to drag himself to bed where he sighs deeply and thinks of those lips, which he tasted just once. And it hits him how wrong he had been towards Ichigo, how harmful he must have been. He heaves and falls just before he hits the bathroom and pukes on the marbled floor and he dry heaves and he cries all over again. But in reality there are no warm eyes anymore, there are no more gentle hands that would wake him up from his slumber every once in a while, when he had a moment to spare and close his eyes at the hospital.

He stays like that, with his puke next to his head and thinks that he deserves everything that happened to him. And he knows that he shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't think of Ichigo anymore but the heart commands and he can't put everything aside suddenly.

The next day he goes back to Ran and they fall in the same pattern, only this time Ran knows not to push the Ichigo matter. Although he sees that something had changed in Kenji. Nonetheless they become really close friends and they offer each other pity fucks because they don't have in them the power to betray the ones that they love. Their fucks are full of passion, probably the one that they would offer to the men they love. The impossibility of it all makes their relationship even stranger but people start to see them only together. On top of having killer looks, Ran is smart and incredibly funny too. And they go to the theatre and movies and dinners and they aren't afraid to hold hands every once in a while because now things get better. Once Kenji asks Ran to tell him a secret, just once before he drowns in that mysterious black pool of his eyes, but Ran smiles sadly and says that only his true love must know them and Kenji doesn't press because he knows what he is to Ran and although it hurts a little, he knows what Ran is to him too.

Kenji isn't a very lucky person either. Ran dies on him, ten years into their friendship and Kenji feels like he has been skinned alive. At the beginning he hates Ran, he's very selfish in thinking that this is something that Ran did just to spite him, just to leave him alone without anyone to help him, guide him through the terrible mess that he has made from his life. But then he starts to ponder. Ran has done so many things for him, has brought so many things in his life that Kenji starts to feel like a monster for his selfishness.

Kenji doesn't live much afterwards. He dies of a heart attack soon after, still lonely, still thinking of orange locks, but this time adding the dark orbs of Ran's. Afterlife proves that it's just as tough and he lets it slide around him. At the beginning after he remembered everything and he was saved from Chamber's clutches, he has tried to find Ran, tried to make him remember something and then maybe start a new life together in what could become a nice existence for them. But Ran was nowhere to be found and afterlife world proved to be huge and diverse in possibilities. Yet Kenji doesn't see that. All he craves now is forgiveness and maybe find a way to move on, to think of Ran, to maybe try to find him again.

At night, in his small room above the restaurant, Kenji thinks of all the bad things that he has done in his life, of all the things that he should be forgiven for and of all the things that are yet to come now that he is here and the world holds such possibilities.

His daily life now revolves around working in the restaurant and taking care of the clients and just trying to figure out when he can see Ichigo the next time. If only he would come alone, unaccompanied by the raven man, he could apologize to him, revealing himself. He could do so many things. This is what sometimes keeps him awake at night. Different scenarios of how to apologize or what he would do if he would find Ran, who wouldn't remember him, who wouldn't know what they shared together. He just doesn't expect to have an important moment so soon in his life.

**oOo**

Some days have passed since Ichigo's last visit and his boss sends Kenji with some food for an important member of a family. He doesn't know much about the man or his family, but he knows that his boss is very much appreciated by the nobleman and that every once in a while servants with rich uniform are sent to the restaurant to take some food. The family is renowned in Soul Society and although it isn't among the four noble families, it certainly has class and some important members serving in Gotei 13 or in some other important institutions.

Kenji feels out of place in the big mansion as he waits for the nobleman to have his food delivered. The room isn't big, but it has a comfortable air about it. It is built in the traditional Japanese style with large windows towards the wonderful garden. This is the custom for Kenji: wait for the nobleman's secretary and give the food away, receive the praise and the paycheck and then be on his way. It has been so long since Kenji has been in such a nice and comfortable room that he feels out of place and wonders how long it would take for the nobleman to send his damn secretary and let him retreat to his humble room and place of work.

"Excuse me," the said secretary interrupts his dreaming with a polite smile and Kenji feels obliged to smile back, "but my master kept me a little longer. Is this the food for today?"

"Yes, Enri-san." Kenji says softly preparing to leave but the secretary makes a gesture to stop him. "Is it something else that Kouji-sama would like from my boss?" Kenji asks a little surprised because up until this point he has never been allowed to talk more than a few words in here.

The old man smiles again and it reaches his eyes and that makes Kenji feel a little better as maybe he hasn't done anything wrong.

"Actually he would like to talk to you about something, but at the moment he is entertained by a captain from the Gotei 13. If you could wait just a little longer."

"Yes, of course." Kenji replies right away. It is firstly a sense of curiosity that makes him stay because he has never met Kouji-sama since he has started delivering his meals. But he also knows that his boss would probably kill him if he wouldn't wait for such an important client. Most of the restaurant's incomes sometimes come from these deliveries.

"Very well then, Saitou-san." The older man replied startling a little bit Kenji. "Please, wait here and the master will come as soon as he finishes here."

"I will. Thank you."

The silence engulfs him and he slowly drifts in his thoughts the way he usually does. He is still thinking of many other things when he finally is startled by a gentle voice, which sounds familiar.

"I am sorry for keeping you this long."

As soon as he turns around his eyes widen so much that he thinks that he might have a heart attack if he could die all over again. He looks at the nobleman and wonders if God has an unusual sense of humor. Because in front of him, there's Ran. Or Kouji-sama the way he is known now. And Kenji knows that there's no way that the man might remember him but still he feels almost drawn to the other man's presence, as if he might drown in it, as if this is the end of everything he ever hoped for and the beginning for other.

"Is there something wrong?" The dark eyes watch him closely and there's a sudden lump in Kenji's throat that hasn't been there before. He wants to cry and laugh at the same time. The situation feels so familiar and yet so strange.

"No, I'm sorry, Kouji-sama." He mumbles humbled by everything. His pride died a long time ago, mostly when Kuchiki saved him from the clutches of Chamber 46. "It's just that you resemble to someone I used to know." He smiles sadly back. "I apologize if I have offended you."

"There was no offence." Ran's brows furrow further. "The color of your cheeks almost felt completely drown out and I wondered if you got sick waiting for me."

"Nothing like that, I assure you, Kouji-sama."

"Very well then. Please state your name. I feel quite embarrassed for not knowing the man who is responsible for feeding me. At least in part."

"My name is Saitou Kenji."

"Well, Kenji-san, I apologize once again for keeping you waiting. A dear guest of mine kept me entertained longer than expected." Dark eyes travel over Kenji's form and the man feels suddenly very conscious the way he is dressed in that expensive room as opposed the man that sits in front of him with the calm of the nobleman who is at home in such richness. "Now let's get down to the business. I wanted to talk to your boss about this but I won't have time. Here's the thing: on Sunday I will have a couple of guests at dinner and lately I have so much praised the cooking of your boss that my guests are adamant in being served with food made by him."

"It will be such an honor for my boss to be at your service." Kenji answers right away because he knows it to be the truth.

"I really hope I won't impose on him. As usual I will make sure to pay handsomely."

"The gesture would be much appreciated, Kouji-sama. For what number should I tell my master to prepare?"

"Ten people. I will send Enri-san tonight with the menu that I would like to have."

"Very well, Kouji-sama." Kenji's hands tremble as he finally makes himself stand up. He wants so much to hug Ran, to tell him about what they shared together, to make him understand that they shared something in the past, something that by many could be call love. Kenji knows that he is obsessively infatuated with Ichigo, but that hasn't kept him from not realizing that Ran has been the second man to love, the most precious in his life after Ichigo.

_After Ichigo_. Maybe these were the magic words.

"I shall communicate to my master your wishes and we will expect Enri-san tonight."

"Thank you, Saitou-san." The dark eyes watch him with a careful look in them and Kenji feels even weaker. He can barely keep the mask on; he can barely keep his hands from shaking obviously. "Would you like to stay and have tea with me? It feels that this afternoon all my friends have deserted me."

The invitation comes so suddenly that Kenji feels like chocking. He wants to laugh hysterically. This must be hell. Somehow he must have just turned in the wrong direction and come up this personal hell of his. To have Ran look at him with such interest and yet such obliviousness at what they meant for each other another time, it is definitely just too painful for him.

"I am sorry, Kouji-sama, but my master waits for me. I am already late as it is."

"I see." But Ran comes closer, ignoring the flush in Kenji's cheeks. It is strange to feel this distance between them although they are so close. All of the sudden the nobleman takes a strand of hair of Kenji's and caresses it tenderly. "It is a most unusual shade of gold."

The lump is there again in an instant, especially when the other man slowly leaves that strand to fall again. Kenji feels bereft and he almost falls down when he scurries off.

"Thank you. I- I have to go. I will make sure that my master expects for Enri-san. Goodbye, Kouji-sama."

"Goodbye, Saitou-san."

Kenji feels his heart trying to break his chest as soon as he leaves the mansion. The desire that burnt in Ran's eyes for a split second makes Kenji shudder and it feels years until he reaches the restaurant communicating to his boss Ran's wishes, to which his boss totally agrees. That night Kenji doesn't sleep very well. He feels tired and raw as if the last pieces of strength were taken from him. What hurts him the most is the familiarity and yet distance with which Ran has behaved today.

Ran….

Could it be possible? Could this mean a second chance?

The days until Sunday pass quickly, or at least as quickly as they pass in Rukongai. Kenji hasn't much time to think about anything, at least during the day. But at night… well, that's a different story.

When Sunday comes his master doesn't let him take care of the restaurant. On the contrary, he takes him at the mansion where he could help him with everything. Ran is the perfect nobleman and there's no trace of the familiarity with which he treated Kenji back during the week. The guests are noblemen just like him and Kenji feels out of place again.

And as soon as he can, he makes himself disappear in the background, waiting in the garden for everything to be over, for the night to be done with, as he thinks who could replace him in his weekly runs to the Kouji mansion. The night falls heavy over Soul Society and the garden of the Kouji mansion is illuminated with bright lights making everything glittering strangely in the darkness.

Suddenly time stops. In the dark, next to a sakura tree there's Ichigo looking at the sky. He is dressed casually in elegant clothes that fall befitting on his body. Most likely he is one of the guests. Kenji's air disappears from his lungs. That orange hair glitters in the light of the torches and the face is just as handsome as he had been in real life. The blue of the clothes make him look surprisingly brooding for the pleasant night.

The air leaves Kenji's lungs as the blood sings in his ears. His hands start to tremble. He gasps for air and looks at the young man. It's just so wonderful to see him there that suddenly Kenji takes a step towards the man. Then another.

_This is it._

This is the moment that he has been waiting for.

"Saitou-san, may I have a word with you?" The gentle words that are uttered by that familiar voice make everything painful for Kenji as he looks back in Ran's dark eyes. There is a mysterious calling in those eyes, the face an impenetrable wall and yet so many emotions wind whirl in his heart. He looks in front of him. There's Ichigo, his muscled body painted by the shadows of the night.

He could invent an excuse. He could say to Ran that he needs to talk to Ichigo. He would understand, yet it feels like it might be a form of goodbye.

He could take just a couple of steps to there. In that spot. Look in Ichigo's scorching brown eyes.

"Saitou-san?" His name reverberates with the possibilities. He looks back at Ran and there! There's that hidden desire again, that nameless emotion, that fondness that was in his eyes on their first meeting. He swallows hard.

Please, God, help him. He just wants to make amends. He just _wants_.

"Kenji?"

His name is there. In those dark eyes that have always been there for him, that have always made him question his bullshit, that pulled him from the greatest depths of despair. And just like that his decision is final.

He takes a step and then another. And Ran is there to catch him again. Just like every time.

Just like always.

**oOo**

_A/N: Next week, the epilogue. XD Hope you enjoyed this chapter although it was from Kenji's point of view. I just wanted to give him a chance to make amends. XD Anyways, thanks again to my reviewers (especially to those that I can't send a private message) and to all of you who read/ alerted/ favorited this story. It means a lot to me that you stayed together with me for this incredible ride._


	23. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I am not Kubo Tite therefore _Bleach_ and anything related to it don't belong to me. It still makes me sad though.

_**Epilogue**_

It's still early. The first rays of sun are caressing his locks. He feels warm but he doesn't want to give up the feeling of being safe and protected. He breathes a little deeper. _Ah, there it is_. The nice comforting scent, the one that means home and love and commitment. The one scent that always makes him want to get up, start a new day, have everything. He snuggles a little closer. There's no need really. The back is solid as he rests his forehead on it. He can feel the warmth of that cherished body; he can almost taste its wonderful flagrance. He can touch everything, have anything, but at this moment he feels like he may ruin the feeling, so he doesn't do anything.

Perhaps this is how all people in love feel all the time. Perhaps this is the sort of commitment that everyone should have or already has. He doesn't know. He doesn't think much about it. He just knows that they are lucky, that they have found each other, that they have stuck together under pressure, that their love has survived in spite of all the dark clouds that have surrounded them in both lives. It has been a long time since he has thought about this. It has been a long time since they have finally decided to be together. He knows that he has started to take some of the things for granted. He knows that some of the things come natural nowadays between the two of them. And yet it is not strenuous. They don't feel like it's eating at the core of their relationship. They have been together for so long that now, he just looks at him and sees his own other self. So different and yet so connected.

He smiles. A small ray of sun falls on his cheek. He is warm, both from the sun and from the body that he has snuggled with. He's so tired and yet he can't think of a better place to be, or of better things to think.

The beloved body moves a little bit and he takes his forehead away. Loving arms circle his waist and draw him closer. He buries his nose in a collarbone, which has been many times kissed, teased and nipped. He inhales. Suddenly a lump chokes him. He can't believe that after all this time he still gets to have this, to enjoy this.

"When did you come back?" The deep voice rumbles and he likes to feel the vibrations, small puffs of air tickling his ear.

"Just now." He mumbles. "I missed you." He adds like an after thought and the other man tightens his embrace.

"I missed you too."

This is the hard part, this is the only part that makes their lives a little bit more difficult: the duties that they have in Soul Society and the responsibilities which come with being part of such an incredibly powerful family like the Kuchikis. He sighs softly. His right hand feels the strong heartbeats of the other man. They are like a song to him, whispering sweet nothings to him, telling him that it beats only for him.

"You should rest." The other voice speaks softly after a while.

"I am resting." He answers and raises his head, smiling a little mischievously. It's a mistake. He meets loved grey orbs, which make him forget completely what hewanted to say. Byakuya looks at him like he hasn't seen him for an eternity, like Ichigo hasn't been gone for just three days. Their lips meet half way drawn to each other, kissing with such power like they want to dig small holes in each other's souls and stay there. They don't move: they kiss until they are left without air and then they kiss a little more. They kiss until their lips start tingling; they kiss until they finally feel satiated.

"I feel so tired." Ichigo finally mumbles with his face still hidden into his husband's collarbone. "But it's so good to be home." He smiles tiredly feeling his husband passing his elegant fingers through his hair. Byakuya and his fetish for his orange hair.

"I will have to leave soon." The deep voice rumbles again and Ichigo sighs despondently.

"Do you have to go?" He whines; he knows he's pathetic but he doesn't care. He just wants to be with his husband now.

"Yes, some people have to work. Unlike _others_."

"Hey, I worked. _Hard_. Now it's time for me to rest." Ichigo sighs and snuggles a little closer. "You could always say you are sick."

"As if someone in Seiretei would actually believe that." Byakuya tightens a little bit his embrace and makes Ichigo smile.

"It might work." He suggests. "After all you are probably the only captain that hasn't lied to get out of work before."

"Sleep, Ichigo." He feels Byakuya's lips kissing his forehead. "I promise we will have all the time in the world to tell stories tonight." The lips move further down his face, kissing each of Ichigo's cheeks. "I am glad you are home and safe."

"Me too." Those beloved lips finally settle on his again and they kiss some more until Ichigo falls asleep just like that. He misses the fond smile of his husband and he misses the way he is changed into softer clothes, while he is almost dead to the world.

He wakes up in the late afternoon aching for the safe arms of his husband. The sun doesn't shine with the same brightness in the room and for a moment he rests, admiring the garden that can be seen from their bedroom. He inhales deeply, loving the scent that Byakuya left behind him. He sighs like the thirteen-year-old girl that he is sometimes when he thinks about his husband.

They have been together for almost one hundred years in Seireitei. It feels like a lifetime and yet not enough.

When he died, at the beginning, it was the novelty of being young again and having Byakuya next to him. It took them weeks to get reacquainted with each other's body. It was the honeymoon they never had. But when they managed to settle at last, Ichigo finally had time to think what he was going to do. Getting to know the council of the Kuchiki family hasn't been exactly the funniest experience he ever had and he still has nightmares about it, although most of them were still in awe from knowing the savior of Seireitei in person. Ichigo might have taken advantage of that without exactly knowing it himself. He has answered their questions as Byakuya has taught him, but his impetuous nature revealed itself when the delicate ones began. In the end they all fell prey to his charm and nowadays they even came and asked for his guidance instead of that of Byakuya's.

He also went to study at the Academy and see what shinigamis usually learn when they decide to take this path. It took him only a year of study. At that point they didn't have much to teach him, except kido for which he took special classes. Byakuya had turned really supportive when it came to this sort of activities; he even wanted to train with Ichigo telling him that sometimes kido saves a shinigami's life better than the sword. He also taught him some tricks that he had learned from Yoruichi.

Then after graduating, the supreme commander decided that Ichigo would do best in his division, which won him a staring match with Byakuya. It surprised Ichigo to know that his husband had wanted him in his own division. Of course Byakuya hadn't been the only one. Zaraki even dared to roar that the 11th division should have him due to his brash attitude, which won him a punch in the face from Ichigo, a disapproving look from the sotaichou and a menacing glare from Byakuya. Then Ukitake argued that he knows best how to deal with Ichigo (why everybody treated him like a menace, he really didn't understand) and then everyone pinched in, each with their own arguments. Needless to say the sotaichou won.

Ichigo had not foreseen what had happened next. After almost twenty years of serving under the first commander as a lieutenant and probably tired of Ichigo and his complaints about the _goddamn paperwork and why can't we cut down the goddamn bureaucracy_, the sotaichou came out of nowhere and asked Ichigo to take over the division. The sotaichou would maintain the supreme command over all the 13 divisions and the kido corps, but he wanted to entrust his division with the only man that could take care of it properly.

Ichigo smiles a little bit.

Yeah, talking about having the surprise of his life. But he and the sotaichou got to know each other so well that sometimes he feels like he is the grandfather that he never had. He has never told him that but there's only person in Soul Society that can make Kuchiki, _nee_ Kurosaki, Ichigo do some paperwork and that person is the sotaichou. And there's no need for yelling either. Byakuya even asked him once how come he never comments when he has to do some favor for the sotaichou and why he takes the missions that nobody wants, but Ichigo avoided answering. What is he to say? The truth is he has never forgotten that the sotaichou has been so supportive to him and Byakuya. He knows that Byakuya couldn't have left his division so long unattended, had it not been for the support of the sotaichou. He had taken a glimpse at how pushy Chamber 46 could be when they wanted something, but the sotaichou had something up his sleeve because they never bothered him about the 6th division.

"Master Ichigo?" The gentle voice startles him and Ichigo looks up smiling a little. The older woman smiles gently back. "Your bath is ready and dinner will be served when you wish."

"Have I slept the entire day, Tohru-san?" He asks a little confused.

"Yes," she speaks gently, "but you were really tired and the older master asked us not to disturb you under any circumstance." Ichigo smirks contently. He has corrupted theservants too well that they don't even notice when they call Byakuya as the older master. "Haru-kun has prepared your favorite meals."

"Oh, perfect." Ichigo smiles again. "I will wait for Byakuya though. I will go and take the bath in the meantime. I must stink."

"That you do, master Ichigo, that you do."

Ichigo almost rolls his eyes before he catches himself and goes to bathroom. One would say that after almost one hundred years of being called like that, he would get used to it. But Ichigo likes to be close to the people surrounding him. During that month while he was waiting for Byakuya to come back to Soul Society, he took it upon himself to learn everything there is to know about the people that have served him so loyally after the first day. By the time Byakuya came back to him, the damage was done: the servants were under his spell and the easy familiarity between them was settled. They seemed also to become a little bolder in showing their true affection to Byakuya, who could wake up with a nice cup of tea while working without even asking for it. Soon it became obvious to Byakuya that his servants were deep under the Kurosaki charm so he let them be. He knew that it was pointless fighting against it.

"You are too full of yourself." A deep voice observes as Ichigo finally enters the bedroom. "What have you done this time?"

"Why do you assume only the worse from me?" Ichigo grins even wider while his husband leaves Senbonzakura next to Zangetsu and comes closer.

"Because you usually are a menace to society and when you smile like that, it's never good news." Large hands cup his cheeks and Ichigo's eyes flutter closed from too much pleasure. Byakuya's scent invades his nostrils as his husband leans a little further into his breathing space.

"I am a goddamn blessing for this society." Ichigo mumbles, a little lost as his husbands puts butterfly kisses all over his face. He slowly grabs him by the forearms and pulls Byakuya closer to his body.

"You are to me." Byakuya says with a seriousness that makes Ichigo open his eyes and look at him. Byakuya's grey eyes are full of wonder and longing. "I missed you." He whispers in a gravely voice, which makes Ichigo shiver.

"Missed you too. So much." Ichigo whispers just before Byakuya's lips finally decide to descend on his lips. At first it's just a soft press of lips against lips, but then it builds more and more until Ichigo gasps just in time for Byakuya to slide his tongue into his mouth and take his breath away with all his longing and lust.

"Are you going to let me eat tonight?" Ichigo mutters ironically after they finally pull away.

"Only because you need strength for what's about to come." Byakuya smirks back and it still takes Ichigo by surprise to see such glimpses into his husband's personality.

"You made big plans for tonight, didn't you?"

"I had three days of planning," Byakuya leans towards him again, his lips brushing over his left ear, "imagining how you would feel like under me again, how you will beg me to take you by the time I will have finished tasting and mapping your body."

"Fuck." Ichigo fucking whimpers as he grabs a fistful of his husband's uniform. "Forget about the goddamn food and let's see these plans of yours."

"Patience."

"Patience, smetience." Ichigo grumbles as he is almost dragged towards the table full of all the food that he generaly likes. "You always like to tease me." He pouts so adorably that he knows Byakuya is going to kiss him. The taste of his husband never gets old.

"And you always fall prey to it so easily." Byakuya's lips twitch slightly and there's mirth into his eyes and yeah, Ichigo is pretty content just being here tonight, facing his husband. "But I promise you, you will be rewarded for it."

"You better live up to your promisses, old man."

"You will regret using that word with me, Ichigo."

Ichigo's cheeky grin is in ful swing when he says smugly:

"Bring it."

They start eating in companiable silence and for a while the room is filled with just with the sounds of them eating and of the pleasant night.

"By the way, Karin visited me today." Byakuya says after a while and Ichigo's warm eyes rise a little knowing that nothing good can come from this. "She heard that you were back and she wants you to visit her as soon as possible. Yuzu too. It's been to long since she has seen you."

"She hasn't said that, has she?" Ichigo mutters wincing a little bit when he sees Byakuya's amusement.

"I am giving you the polite redention of what she said."

"I figured that much." Ichigo smiles a little knowingly too.

Apparently his death in real life made Karin and Byakuya become much closer and when his sister joined them in Soul Society, this strange friendship renewed itself. Not that Ichigo minded, except upon occasion when they would both roll their eyes at him like he has said something stupid. _Again_. Seriously, no man should be stared down by his younger sister. It was unbecoming, mostly because Byakuya encouraged it too.

Yuzu was more relaxed now than when she had arrived in Soul Society. It had been very difficult for her to deal in real life especially since she had died the last and had to deal with being alone for a long time. Things turned up really hard to handle for her especially when her husband has died too, leaving her all alone; therefore when she finally died and saw all of them together waiting for her, she started to cry hard. For a long time after that she had followed them around, not knowing how to divide herself to constantly be with them all. By the end of the first month, she had been so exhausted that Karin threw a rightous fit and finally convinced her that from then on they would be all together and nothing would get between them. Yuzu slept for two days afterwards and she dramatically changed after she has woken up. For the better. However Ichigo knew how important was for her to be reassured so he smiles as he says:

"I think we should invite our family for diner tomorrow night." Byakuya's eyes become warmer. He likes a lot being included in the mad Kuroski family. "I bet Rukia can't wait to rip me a new one for taking this mission instead of letting her go. But I haven't seen her or Renji for a month now."

"I think they would appreciate that. Isshin especially. Just today he was complaining that his beautiful son doesn't love him anymore, doesn't write or visit." Byakuya actually rolls his eyes. "I honestly don't understand how you and your sisters have turned up to be so sane with a man like that as a father."

"You always complain about him and yet you have none when it comes to ploting together some scheme to make my life miserable." Ichigo smirks knowingly.

"Your dad has his…appeal."

"When you want it…"

"True."

The servants move silently between them and Ichigo smiles at his husband when the older man reaches for him and helps Ichigo get up.

"Now I believe I have to keep some promisses…" Byakuya's eyes are blown wide with lust and Ichigo swallows hard.

"Yes, you do."

"Follow me then."

Ichigo just smiles as he grips the beloved hand a little tighter. He doesn't say that he will follow Byakuya till they reach the end of the world. He doesn't say that he will hold on to that hand for all eternity and long after that. He doesn't say that his love will never die, especially when there are kisses like the ones he receives once they are in the bedroom and he doesn't say he will always want to hear those lovable whispers until the end of time.

Simply because there's no need. Byakuya knows all that. Because his husband feels the same way.

And that it's enough for Ichigo.

**oOo**

_A/N: Before you start complaining about how crappy this epilogue is and that you can't believe that you waited for this s%$^ for so long, let me tell you this isn't the original epilogue. The original epilogue had an epic fight and some serious drama and angst and Byakuya was going to blow you all away with what he was about to do. Unfortunately my laptop broke down on me and lost all my data (because I wasn't smart enough to make a back up) so all my fic was lost. Believe me when I say I cried enough for that. For now this rather disappointing epilogue will be left until I find my muse for this story again and I will re-write it. Again thank you to all of you who during my disappearance have continued enjoying this story. And thank you to all of you for sticking with me until the very end. I promise you I will offer you some day the epilogue that you and this story deserves. _


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